I Choose You by Kemi Adejumo (mobile ebook reader TXT) 📖

Jessica's Pov

I can feel his stares on me while we ate the spaghetti.  Why does he have to be so sweet and so caring.  All this action of his keeps fuelling my feelings for him.  I won't lie,  I mad.  Real mad.  I know it is not his fault but I am still  mad.  Why can't he notice me? . OK fine I know that sounds selfish but heck it hurts.

I know that I can't blame him for not loving me the same way I do him but it doesn't change the pain that I feel constantly.   My heart can't take this anymore.  I think I want  to give up.  If I can't have my love,  I won't stop Christian from having his love. 
He obviously still likes that girl Evelyn and thinking about how I ruin their relationship makes me feel so guilty.  Arrgghh I am a bad friend,  I better fix it.

"Uhhmm,  do you like her? " i asked as I watched him turn to me hesitantly.  "Evelyn,  do you like her? "

"We don't have to talk about her if you don't want to Jess"

""No,  no I do.  Just answer the question? "

"I think so" he replied unsure whether to say that or not.  

"Do you want me to help you win her over? "

"You would do that? " he asked surprised. 

"Mhmmm"

"Are you sure? "

"Yup"

"Ok" He replied smiling.  He always looks really happy when we talk about her. Her... oh my goodness,  today is the day the selected girls will arrive. Woah what is he doing here?

"Aren't the girls supposed to arrive today? "

"Uh yeah,  they are here already. " he said without a care in the world. 
"huh!!" I gasped "Then what are you doing here you freak"

"What??  I wanted to check on you.  Plus whose fault is it that I am here anyways" he said looking at me accusingly.

"Well I didn't ask you to come" I countered

"Yeah but if you didn't run out on me and just told me exactly what I did  wrong , we won't be here,  will we?"   I just stared at him speechless.  It is true and that is the problem,  I can't tell him.

We didn't say anything for about five minutes both lost in their own thoughts.

"How does she look like,  I mean Evelyn" I asked.

"Same,  innocent....and beautiful " he replied spacing out as if imagining her.

"Uhm... have you talked to her?"

"No"

"No? Why not? "

"Well because someone was mad at me and I wanted to apologize to her before I did anything else.  Plus  , I won't be with a girl you don't approve of.  Mirabelle's case has taught me a lesson "

"What if I don't approve of any girl? " I asked him curiously.

"Well then I will just marry you" he replied jokingly making my heart squeeze.  I looked him in the eye and my heart loved it but my brain was screaming at me.  Look away Jess,  this will cause more pain.

" You should apologize to her first" I said quickly changing the topic.  

"Yes I should, I will" he replied while I just nodded and continued eating my delicious chocolate cake.

"Do you know what I want to do now?" he smirked

"What?" I asked

"Netflix and chill.... with you.... in my bed" he flirted making me bust out laughing.

"Aaaaah... No I am not going " I replied stubborn.

"Get your fat ass out of that bed right now " he teased while pulling me up.  I am literally like wearing just his hoodie and it stops at my thighs. 

Wait aleast let me change first "  

"No,  you will change in my room" he objected while pulling me along with the cart out of my room. 

We entered the hallway walking hand in hand but then we heard footsteps. Looking up we saw the king and queen making there way towards us but I guess they didn't see us because they seemed engrossed in their conversation.

Christian quickly pulled me and we both began running.  We ran till we entered the garden.  We first caught our breath and then busted out laughing.

"Why did you make me run like that aaaah? "  I asked still laughing.

"Because I lied to my Dad that I could not continue lunch with them because my allergies were acting up" He explained.  

I just shook my head at him. "Bad boy.  C'mon let's just go" I said pulling him with me.  Unfortunately, I missed a step and fell backwards dragging Christian down with me.  Before I knew what was happening,  he landed on me and his lips met mine.  

My mind froze and I couldn't move . Christian did not move either and we both stared into each others eyes.  Oh my,  I feel so hot.  "Oh my Goodness" A tiny soft voice pulled us out of our reverie.  

I quickly pushed Christian slightly off me.  I looked up and my eyes met the teary ones of Evelyn. Her gaze went from me to Christian. She looked very hurt.  I looked at Christian and saw him staring at her in guilt. Is that all what he felt from the kiss? guilt?

Evelyn turned around and ran out of the garden.  I looked at Christian and it was obvious he was contemplating running after her.   I knew wanted so bad to run after her and clear the air but he didn't want to leave me.

"Go after her" I said giving him the best fake smile I could come up with.

"Thanks Jess" he said happy and relieved.  He immediately stood up and ran after her.

Immediately he left, my face fell and tears clouded my vision. 
Wow,  I just keeping loosing in this game of love.  I finally had my first kiss with the guy of my dreams and it turned out to be a mistake?  
How much more pain are you going to throw at me life.  Have I not had enough??  Oh dear God I know I ruined their relationship but this karma is too much. 

I stood up and dragged the cart with me.  I dropped it in the kitchen before making my way to Christian's room.  He had not come back.  I layed on his bed an waited for him. A minute turned into an hour but he was still not back.

I wonder what they are doing.  What if he gets back together with her? That thought hurts me.  I fell asleep thinking about them and when I woke up,  i checked the time and it was 3am. I touched the space beside me.  It was empty and cold.  He never came back.