PENALTY by Annika Sturm (love books to read .txt) 📖

Alex had a restless night tossing and turning. He had a number of confused and bad dreams and woke up several times during the night. Tom tried to calm him by holding him whenever Alex sat up in bed after another nightmare. By the time morning had come Alex was in a bad way, emotionally and physically. The last few days of stress had taken their toll and he had developed a fever and his whole body was aching.

Tom had organised his return flight from Hamburg with his agent as soon as he had got up. He managed to get onto a flight at nine o'clock, which meant he had to leave shortly. He watched Alex sleep restlessly and was full of concern for his friend. He placed his hand on his forehead to gauge how bad his temperature was, which woke Alex up. 'You're boiling,' Tom said, stroking his cheeks gently, 'you need to rest.' 'Do you have to go?' Alex asked quietly. He tried to sit up but felt weak and dizzy. Tom gently pushed him back down. 'I've ordered a taxi. You're not getting out of bed.' 'Tommy,' Alex whispered, 'I want to take you, please.' 'No,' Tom shook his head and looked serious, 'you're ill. You need to rest.' Alex looked at him. 'I wish you could stay.' He gulped. Tom took his hand and kissed him, his face was full of empathy. 'Me too,' he took a deep breath, 'now promise me you rest and let your sister look after you for the next couple of days. I'll call you every day.' He stroked his hair and kissed him again. Then he got up and took his bag. Alex smiled at him. 'Thank you for staying with me yesterday. I would have not coped without you.' Tom nodded.

'Taxi is here.' They could hear Anna's voice. 'Bye.' Tom said sadly as he turned and walked towards the door. 'Tommy.' Alex said and propped himself up on his elbows and Tom turned towards him again. Alex smiled at him with gentle eyes. Tom couldn't help himself. He stormed back towards the bed and kissed Alex again lovingly and the boys cried and laughed, both at the same time, holding each other tightly. 'I'll do whatever I can to make sure you're alright.' Tom whispered into Alex’s ear as he slowly let go off his friend. Alex nodded and smiled at him. Tom stroked over Alex’s feverish forehead one last time before he picked up his bag again. Alex followed him with his eyes as he left the room and closed the door behind him. He took a deep breath and went back to sleep.

'Morning you.' Anna had brought some tea and porridge into the room on a tray. Alex opened one eye and stretched in bed. He wanted to hide under the duvet. From his sister and the whole world. He felt marginally better after another couple of hours sleep but still suffered from flu-like symptoms with his whole body weak and in agony. He carefully sat up and sighed, running his hands over his face. 'Thank you.' He said quietly, looking at his breakfast. Anna smiled at him. 'I assume you should be at training, do you want me to ring anyone?' 'Shit,' Alex had totally forgotten about his own session, 'don't worry, I'll call my agent in a minute.' 'I can do that,' Anna looked through Alex’s jeans pockets and found his phone, 'how about you have some breakfast. Is it David still?', Alex nodded, 'I'll tell them you're sick.' As Anna explained the situation on the phone, Alex tried to eat some porridge even though he didn't feel particularly hungry. He sipped some tea and started to feel a little better.

Anna sat down by his bed and looked at him. 'Did you two end up chatting all night?', she asked him, 'Tommy's bed was untouched. Did he not sleep?' Alex looked at her as he was sipping his tea. 'He did sleep,' he said quietly, 'we both slept in this bed.' Anna frowned at him confused. 'Anyway, he seemed to have got in the cab okay so hopefully he will have made his flight.' Alex nodded as he kept eating.

'So what happened with Em last night then?' She asked with a hint of pure nosiness. 'We had an argument.' Alex said factually. 'In front of Tommy?' 'Yep,' Alex finished his last spoonful of porridge and took a deep breath. He looked at her, 'actually, it was worse than an argument. We split up.' 'What?', Anna stared at him in shock, 'are you crazy? Why? Doesn't she love you anymore?', she paused, 'or do you not love her anymore?', Anna's voice was full of panic, 'well surely you can sort it all out? I mean what about Max?' Alex shook his head. 'Anna,' he gulped, 'I don't know quite how to tell you this. And I'm hoping you'll understand,' he took her hand, 'there was a reason Tommy was still with me. And there was a reason we slept in one bed,' he looked at her intently, 'we're together,' he whispered and gently stroked her hand, 'I love him Anna.' His sister stared at him with wide eyes. 'You're....' She struggled finishing her sentence, saying the word. Alex nodded. 'Yes.'

Anna stood up and put her hand over her mouth in distress. She nervously walked up and down the room. 'But that's impossible Alex,' she shook her head and forced a laugh, 'you have a son. You were going out with girls ever since I can remember!' Alex nodded. He started feeling weak and ill again. 'Yes I know. So?' Anna shrugged her shoulders looking at him expectantly. 'So you can't be g...' She stopped herself from saying it. 'Anna, you can say it, it's not a disease you know.' She sat back down by his bed and stroked over his hair staring at him. 'You need help.' 'What?', Alex laughed, 'no Anna, I don't need help. I'm fine,' all he needed was Tom to come back on the next plane. He took her hand again, 'look,' he said gently, 'I love a man instead of a woman. That's all it is. It's nothing to worry about, in fact it's absolutely bloody fantastic,' he smiled at Anna's shocked face, 'I know it's a bit unexpected perhaps,' he kept stroking her hand, 'but he's making me happy.' He said smiling at her. Anna still stared at him. 'Really?' She asked him in disbelief. Alex nodded. 'Yes. Really.'

'So you told Em last night. This is why you broke up?' She asked. Alex’s face turned sad. He told her everything that had happened and Anna became more and more understanding. She stroked his hair and lay down on the bed listening with a mix of shock and fascination.

'God Alex,' she said finally, 'do you realise how tough this is going to be for you both? As footballers? How will this ever work out?' 'I don't know,' Alex said sadly, 'I have no idea. 'Are you sure this isn't just a fling? Some temporary thing that you'll grow out of?' Anna asked him. 'I don't know. It feels pretty real to me.' He cast his eyes down. 'And Tommy?' Anna said. Alex looked at her. 'What about him?' 'Are you sure he loves you too and doesn't just entertain himself with you?' Alex stared at her. 'Yes,' he said confidently and a touch hurt, 'I am sure.' Anna sighed. 'Okay. He seems like a nice enough boy anyway,' she giggled nervously. Then she looked worried again, 'and what will dad say to all this?' Alex felt ill and just wanted to go to sleep again. 'Keep this to yourself Anna. Please. I'll tell mum and dad when I think it's right. No word to anyone, do you hear me? Football is a fickle business. If this gets out, it will all be over for me. Remember that.' Anna nodded and smiled at him. 'I promise,' Alex sighed with relief and closed his eyes feeling weak, 'you can stay here as long as you like,' Anna brushed over his forehead, 'I'll look after my little brother. Even though he is clearly insane.' She laughed. Alex smiled at her gratefully. 'Thank you.'

Alex’s mobile rang and Tom's number came up. Anna must have seen the joy in her brother's eyes when he realised who it was. She looked at the phone and smiled pretending to pass it to Alex only to pick up herself. 'I have to say you are more trouble than I thought young man,' she paused and laughed quietly. Alex rolled his eyes, stretching his hand out towards her, 'yes he's awake. I'll pass you over.' She grinned and passed Alex the phone. Then she sat back down on the bed looking at her brother expectantly. 'Hold on a sec,' Alex said into the phone and gave his sister a look, 'Anna!' He stared at her in disbelief. 'Oh. Right.' She said and giggled nervously as she left the room.

Alex rolled his eyes again and pressed the phone close to his ear. 'Please come back. I can't be without you.' He whined jokingly and made Tom laugh. 'Hey,' his friend said gently, 'how are you feeling?' 'Pretty shit,' Alex laughed quietly, 'did you make it to training on time?' 'Just about,' Tom hesitated, 'have you spoken to Em yet?' Alex shook his head. 'No, I haven't found the strength yet.' 'But your sis knows now?' 'Yes, erm, too many questions. I had to just be honest,' he paused, 'you don't mind, do you?' Alex felt worried all of a sudden. Tom laughed sadly. 'Don't be silly. Of course not.'

There was a pause. Alex painfully realised how much he missed him already. 'Alex,' Tom said, 'I still feel responsible for this mess,' he gasped for air, 'I feel guilty and shit. I just wish I could do something for you.' Alex smiled. 'Tommy, I'll have to do this on my own. It's my mess, not yours. None of this is your fault. I have chosen you and now I have to face up to the consequences,' Tom took a deep breath. Alex closed his eyes and lay down again, 'what would you do if you were here now?' He asked him grinning. Tom giggled quietly. 'I would probably kiss you, idiot.' He whispered laughing. 'And catch this evil bug?' Tom laughed. 'I wouldn't be able to keep my hands off you, that's for sure.' Tom continued. 'That sounds good,' Alex smiled as he imagined it, 'the reality is that you would have to tidy the dirty porridge bowl and tea mug away before you even get close to me. And I badly need a shower, I tell you.' Tom chuckled.

'I'll speak to Christine tonight.' Tom said suddenly. Alex gasped. 'I was hoping you might change your mind.' 'Why?' Tom sounded surprised. 'Because it will be traumatising and you have suffered enough with me already.' Tom hesitated. 'Alex, it's only fair surely that we are both in the same boat, right?' 'I just don't want you having to go through what I'm going through. That's all.' Tom sighed. 'I have to go now. The second session starts. Make sure you rest Alex. Okay?', Tom sounded worried about him, 'I'll call you again later.' 'Sure, bye.' Alex hung up and pressed his phone against his mouth as he closed his eyes taking deep breaths. 'What a mess.' He muttered and hoped Tom would change his mind after all.

Alex slept almost throughout the whole day. His sister kept bringing