to: you by Gab Fol (best desktop ebook reader txt) 📖
- Author: Gab Fol
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today is the day you had decided to leave her for me
you must be miserable now
i know you are
you are sitting in your room right now
bottle of cinnamon flavored whiskey
drinking your heart and regrets away
alone
tired
and frustrated
i didnt make that decision
and i know you dont even blame me
but yet you do
you fell for me
for a split second
and look where that led us
look what it made
two lonely people
both heart broken
and are we still?
broken?
over each other or
over her
i think its both
you know
i can still hear you breathe
the window screen
2 am
j.r. martin
are those words familiar?
do they make you think...
about me?
or just stuff you threw away
i think about you a lot
right now even
duh
do you still taste me?
those bites left on each other lips
did mine leave a scar?
i feel those rough lips again and again
placing gentle kisses upon my neck
but then i dont
its occasional
you and me
that, it still exists
but stops again for a while
Today is that day
You told me you loved me
You didnt love her
Today is that day
You told me you'd spend the rest of your life with me
You didnt want to spend it with her
Today is the day
It all went down
It was official
You and i
Me and you
Us
You know?
Do you...
Still feel me?
Like i do you
I want you
Do you want me
Touch me?
Kiss me?
Hurt me?
Words and conversations
circle my head
and they wont go away
so maybe
I might end up just like you
Alone in my room
With a bottle of whiskey
dumb
we are young and dumb
but love is a sure thing, isnt it?
well
today is the day
July 27, 2016.
day & night
my feelings are kind of how night and day roll around
isn't that how all the edgy kids describe their feelings?
i think so haha
and that's ok
everything is just so plain
i don't know what to do with it anymore
why is it so hard to control feelings?
when these people come around, you can feel a fire of hatred flare up in sparks
or your heart shimmer down in the bellows of your stomach because of the love
it's just a little weird you know?
we can't control those so easily
and i mean that's ok, isn't it?
that's just the way it's supposed to be
can you answer a question for me?
when people tell you they love you, you always ask yourself, do they really?
but when a person says they hate you, it's the easiest thing in the world to believe
why?
it's a contradiction to the saying "don't believe until you see it"
you can never believe the love until they show you it completely and simply
but the hate, all they hate to do is say that word and your entire world falls apart
it's just a little weird is all
it's so easy to sit there and not believe the lovely words "i love you" from this person
but you can sit there and cry your face off if they use the word hate and your name in the same sentence
i wanna know why it works that way
is there something out there to answer it for me?
i'm sure there is if i just look it up
i'd rather sit here and think about it for myself
i think it's funny though
haha
i shouldn't have to look up that question
i should just know the answer shouldn't i?
is it that simple?
can you sit here and think about it for me?
is it so hard to come up with that answer?
love is such a simple and sacred thing
you know?
at the same time it's so complicated and messy
and is that our own faults?
missing
you ever been in love as a teenager?
i have
delightful is what it is
new feelings
not felt ever before
Its interesting
ive been in that love
i snuck out for this love
i almost ruined my entire life for this love
i wont tell you why
you already know
dont sit and act innocent please
it hurts me to know you didnt know you hurt me
does that make any sense?
i just remember you
in that hoodie of yours
you smelt appealing
i fell in love with the scent of your skin
could i ever classify all of this as love?
i guess i could but would it be this way for everyone else?
call me crazy
i know already
i
might
be
crazy
little fake lifei don't expect you to answer any of these questions that had to do with this little fake life you made up in my mind
and that's ok because frankly i don't really wanna know
i'm not letting it go of course
that hurt
do you think if i did find out these answers, i could let it go?
maybe...
maybe not
i guess i won't ever know will i?
it's upsetting
you told me... there was a piece of you in me
that was going to combine with mine to make this life
a piece of both of us to create one, one of ours
ours
a child
did i ever tell you that i thought i did something right?
even though it was all wrong from the start
i thought i did something right
i wasn't particularly going to be happy with the situation
i was 14
but as long as you were with me, i thought i was going to be ok
and that sounded crazy to you
who thinks about having children at age 14
does anyone?
i just don't get why you had to make up such a fake lie
to try to get me to leave your pathetic self
is it so hard to be honest?
all you had to say
i don't wanna be with you
i don't love you
i don't want anything from you
let me go
is that hard?
it had to be
otherwise why?
who would hurt another person that bad intetionally to try to get them to leave them
i feel like you just didn't want to hurt me
and you were trying to make it seem like it was my idea
but you know of course eventually i left you
i haven't moved on obviously
i haven't found someone better
but neither have you?
i really just wanna know why
you had me walk around for two weeks
convinced you and i were making this tiny life a reality
i just wanna know why you didn't just leave me
be honest
and leave
why?
why
w h y
blanki'm telling myself it's time to let go
and maybe it really is
i should sit here and wipe everything associating with you out of my head
but do you think that's really easy to do?
for me to just
forget everything?
i'd like to think so
and so would a lot of people
but that's frankly impossible
I feel like a sap
there are people with way bigger problems
and i'm sitting here writing about my shitty relationships
charming huh?
everyone wants to date a girl like that
and some do
because it's easy
to make her feel things
make her think things
make her do things
and oh, trust me
it's all true
damaged girls will do whatever to please
to make you not leave
and yes of course that's frowned upon
but do you think if they keep receiving what they want
they care at all?
the answer is no
and that has been made clear to me on many occasions
i could say be more careful
but you never know it's happening until it is happening
or at least for me anyway
i just need to stop being so blind
and letting love be the priority
when it is so not
especially right now
slow down
look out
that's all i can really say
page turner
She recognized this look. The look of desperation that she would always receive from him on special occasions.
The occasions where he is lonely and there’s absolutely no one else around to fill this empty void in his chest.
She despised it, all this desperation. It was only for one thing.
She wanted to give him more than just that one thing, but he didn’t want to receive these things from her.
It was only her body, the physical love she could give him at this time.
And she never wanted to give him these things, she wanted to give him much more.
Like always, it was never the deal. It wasn’t what he wanted.
When she said that, he looked into her pleading eyes and told her that it was over.
There would be no more
A part of her was actually okay with that while the rest of her fell apart.
She always thought
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