to: you by Gab Fol (best desktop ebook reader txt) 📖
- Author: Gab Fol
Book online «to: you by Gab Fol (best desktop ebook reader txt) 📖». Author Gab Fol
yes, this book
is about a boy.
maybe multiple boys.
guess you'll just have to assume.
just a book full of questions
that were never answered.
thoughts
never shared.
boys, girls, love.
it's a complicated thing.
but maybe not.
could be simple.
i wondersometimes it's hard to figure a person out
especially if you've only known them for two weeks before you decided to start dating
but even then you didn't decide to start dating, it just kind of happened
you didn't really talk about it
one moment you're meeting up for hangouts
next you're holding hands
then it's kissing
touching
clothes torn off
skin
more skin
lips
it feels good
so, you keep doing it
not only does it feel good in general
it feels good with him
and that's okay
because you're both happy
right?
that's how it works right?
no
not really
not if there's another girl
which there was
of course no words were discussed regarding her
and maybe that was my own fault
but how could it be
who knows
i sure don't
i don't know anything
literally
but sometimes i still see you
and i remember
your l i p s on m y lips
y o u r skin o n my s k i n
your h a n d s grabbing m y hands
i love y o u
you l o v e me t o o
lost
there was a point where i was completely in love with you
but was it really love
we decided near the end that it was all infatuation
but was it?
i don't know
you don't know
we don't know
you told me i was a reason to smile
but you don't miss me
you miss her
but you left her for me
so why
did she not make you smile?
how did i if she didn't
if you miss her then why am i here
i envy you
not you
but the girls with you
they have an amazing dude
a funny
cute
smart
loyal
not
you are not
we all put ourselves out there to be something
whether it's to be popular
pretty
outcast
sporty
nerdy
labels
those are what you call these
labels
you get them, regardless
it's just how the social systems work
and you however
you have many labels
from me
oh boy
you might wanna grab a tissue or two
it's not so pretty
but you know what is pretty?
what you put out there for all these people to see
yeah that's real pretty
it was pretty to me
you caught my eye
you caught my attention
you caught me
but now i see you
really see you
and
it's not
pretty
you are not
pretty
colorful
colors
we display so many different colors for people to see
blue
red
yellow
primary colors
primary emotions
sad
angry
happy
you my sir made me feel all these primary things
but these emotions mix
colors mix
makes new emotions
new colors
i don't want to have to name these other emotions
you can do it for yourself
imagine the rest
what he made me feel
what you think he made me feel
is it good
is it bad
you're probably right
hard
it's pretty hard moving on you know
moving on from something that made you feel so good
so happy
so amazing
so loved
so w a n t e d
it's hard to let things that make you feel like that go
in this moment i'm apparently comparing you to drugs
that's funny isn't it
how you can do that
compare people to everything and anything
i could say you remind me of a trash can and people would get it
i sure get it
i would get it
the people that came before you were definite trash cans
which is why i fell so hard
and fell for so long
and why when i was done, i stayed on the ground for a while before i decided to get up
hard
that's what it is
and what it will always be
those are some things i can't tell you
and probably not ever
but i can sit here and wonder
is it hard for you too?
lines
i got a long line
a long line of lovers
a long line of hurt
and a long line of many other things
drugs
sex
relationships
abuse
shall i go on?
i bet not because you don't want to hear these things
you tell me you want every part of me
you tell me you want everything
you tell me you love me
but if you love me
if you want me
why can't you hear these things?
these things are part of me
these things are everything
these things will affect me in this love
so if you love me
if you want me
why can't you hear them
i don't want you
if you won't want me
you can't want certain parts of people
and expect that to be okay
i'm not ok
and i won't be if you don't love me the right way
so
goodbye
i don't want you
and
i don't love you
groundswhen i think i got myself right above the ground
up right walking
feeling great
the sun is on my face
i go back down
in the below
where everything is dark
and i'm just sad
and it's not your fault
it's not anymore
it's mine
because my fucked up
emotional
dumbass
will not an asshole like you go
i'm not just pointing at you in particular
there are more of you
but you don't like to hear about them remember?
liaris it hard to be trustworthy?
i don't understand really
you sit there and tell someone you love them
but when they ask you a question for reassurance
you lie straight to their face
that doesn't seem like love does it?
why be with someone you don't want to be with
just tell them you're done
instead of lying
it just hurts
do you know that?
i feel you do
but is it the fact you don't care
then why are you here with me
can't you just
not be a
liar
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