Beyond by Santosh Jha (electronic reader .TXT) 📖

has percolated deep down his consciousness. The suffocation of 45 is probably about a mathematical impropriety he is unconsciously feeling. Mathematically; this 45 should have looked 45 ‘ones’, in a row, standing one after another. What he however is seeing is 45 as just two ‘ones’ – one 5; another 40. This 5 = 40 = 1; this mathematical loss of actuality is suffocation?

May be; it is not suffocation but plainly consternation. Suffocation probably is more emergent and evolving realization like his own consciousness. There is a conflation of more elements in this causality of suffocation. He seeks to unravel it. Emancipation can wait!

This mathematics; the calculative instinct; this perpetual promptness to arrive at and remain with the equation of ‘pluses’ of personal profitability; may be causalities of suffocation. Mathematics is probably embedded in consciousness. Mind is constantly working mathematics of self-sustainability and self-validation. Even physics validates its veracity in mathematical metaphors of sustainability.

He probably is unable and unwilling to see and accept different dimensions of his mathematical calculations. He probably is accepting the volumes of 45 in two probable forms of 5 and 40 but unconsciously ignoring the mass of the two volumes. The 5 and 40 may feel equal in volumes but cannot be the same in mass. He probably was not willing to accept his mass-fullness of life-living as ‘40’ and counting it only as one volume. This happens with mathematical perspectives. Mathematics, often than necessary, may also be metaphors of human cognitive conflations.

He begins to think; is it the visceral mathematics embedded in layers of consciousness, he needs to unlearn and weed out, to initiate the process of emancipation? What does it matter, whichever way the 45 stands? The trouble probably is not in ‘45’ itself but in the mathematics of its equation vis-à-vis the optimal availability of 80. He understands and accepts; it is only one life of 80 fruitful years and once life is over; it is absolute nothingness. He asks himself, ‘If I cease to think about this mathematics; if I discount the juxtaposition of 45 vis-à-vis 80; can the suffocation go away? There cannot be a beyond after this life. Can there be a possibility of beyond, if I unlearn Time?’

He understands and accepts; there is an absolute limitation to journeying beyond. There is no beyond life. There is no journey beyond existence. There probably cannot be a beyond, in linear dimension of Time. The mathematics, the metaphors of physics probably can be amenable to a ‘beyond’ journeying but; consciousness cannot go beyond Time as it is synced with body and mind. There is nothing beyond life, after death and there probably is nothing beyond the Time dimension of ‘Present’. Consciousness cannot go beyond, in reverse Time of past; nor it can journey beyond in Time that is waiting to arrive at the dimension of present.

He begins to think; may be, there is nothing like 45 or for that matter 80. Every Time reality is only ‘one’. Time is only one. Many ones may be made to stand in linearity and ‘plused’ but its dimension shall always be expression of ‘One’. If Time is one dimensional; how can one go beyond? He begins to think, emancipation must seek a journey of beyond in realities, which have multidimensionality. What is that?

He begins to think; probably; only consciousness is multidimensional; rest of all realities are single dimensional. It is probably the multidimensionality of consciousness, which adds and extends its own dimensions into all realities. The physics and mathematics may also be expressions of the consciousness in its innate ability to engender dimensions. Consciousness probably is the singular probabilistic reality. It lends its probabilistic dimensionalities to all realities, which otherwise is singular or two-dimensional. Then probably; it is the consciousness, which is the sole and singular causalities of all probabilities of realities. It somehow is the Media of this Suffocation. It is also the media of the desirability of Emancipation. Can he be better off if he unlearns consciousness and go beyond it? Can he go beyond consciousness? How?

***

Self is the worst tool of mystery and mysticism. The reality manifests itself through this stupid yet infinitely powerful media of self. I or Me; the whole reality of externalities – the culture, civilization, different human systems, faith mechanisms and value-systems, etc are mesmerizing yet mystical expressions of reality, as processed and presented by this precarious media of self or I. He knows it; deep down, from his own thoughtfulness and life-living experiences; he cannot proceed further, let alone journeying beyond, before he arrives at the finality of ‘I’.

He begins to ask – Even the body, I say ‘Me’, is not mine. If anything in this ephemeral world I could seek to own and possess, it would first be my own body. But, it is impossible. My body I cannot possess and own. It is owned and possessed by mechanisms and processes beyond the control of me. Almost 98 percent is unconscious and subconscious. Only 2 percent is conscious, which I may stupidly call me. Its processes are beyond me and my controls. It is journeying its own decided pathways and I just cannot do anything. If this is the truth; if my body is not mine, how can its successes or failures be mine? How can the probabilities, the self engenders, be mine? If these probabilities are not mine; how and which way ‘I’ can ever disown or own them and even think of going beyond…?

He begins to think, if there is anything, which I may ever call ‘Mine’, is what I consciously and willfully make happen, definitively against the forceful causalities of my own body-brain, as well as the external purposes the cultures and milieus heap on me. But; can I go beyond and against my own body and mind? How? It seems; for this to be a possibility; there has to be two ‘I’s – one in favor and other against any positioning of life-living. But; both are I or Me. My yes or no; both are me and I. May be, if I do not align with either of the two; neither in favor and nor against; and just witness both extreme probabilities, without any attachments; may be, then, is it what I may call and stand to be in true possession of I or Me and therefore ‘Mine’…?

… But; even neutrality and witness is I – my own body and mine and it is still not Me! How actually then I can be beyond? How can I have emancipation from ‘I’ and unfetter ‘Me’ to journey probabilities, as beyond I? It essentially is a ‘something’ witnessing ‘nothingness’ and standing as neutral. Can ‘something’ truly and really witness ‘nothing’ and still arrive at it, without carrying along the shadow and perceptionability of ‘something’? If no, how can this ever be neutral? Even this nothingness then shall have weeds of unwanted somethingness. If yes; then how…?

He begins to ask; even nakedness is body specific reality. Can body and mind ever witness true, real and pure nakedness? Can I ever witness and sit in judgment of ‘I’? How can then it lead a journey beyond I, Me and Mine? Body is not mine and me; its probabilities are also not me and mine. If beyond is impossible, what is the justification of this emancipation journey? It seems; it is simply about which side of I or Me, ‘I’ stand and align with. If neutrality or witness is not beyond; then what is actually different being with or aligning with either of the two extremities of successes-failures and not aligning? Both are the same; though seemingly different only in their dimensionality? If all dimensions are only Me and Mine; where and how can there be a ‘Beyondness’…?

He begins to accept; this whole plexus of question and answers is the outcome of this dualistically cyclic causality of ‘I’ seeing I; ‘Me’ witnessing Me and ‘Self’ deciphering Self. He begins to accept that emancipation may actually never happen if he fails to unravel this mystical Causality and its Dualism. Freedom, unfettering and nakedness cannot have any meaning if this cyclicality or dualism of causality is not broken. The slavery is all within this mechanism and process of cyclicality of causality. This causality is what emancipation must first address. I must first emancipate itself from the causalities of ‘I’. But; he understands and accepts; he has no idea how this can ever happen…

He is, however, very determined. He has decided that the Big Bang has to happen inside this black hole of Causality of Dualism. He begins to understand and accept; probably, nothingness or nakedness is only for detachment from externalities. Nothingness probably cannot journey inside the black hole of Causality of Dualism. There probably cannot be any tool other than the ‘I’ itself, which can decipher and unravel the mysticism of I. The media alone can journey beyond causalities of information as the media is the sole processor of all information. Nothingness of media is impossible. Absolute nakedness of media is possible only through the enterprise of media itself. Who can undress ‘Me’ and look at my own nakedness other than me?

He begins to accept; the journey beyond is not about emancipation of somethingness and attainment of nothingness. The journey of beyond is probably about true and real owning of somethingness of ‘I’ so that this novel and alternative ‘I’ itself could be the potent tool to arrive at the everythingness of ‘I’. He accepts; he has to unlearn his old music grammar and learn novel and alternative notes to arrive at the melody and rhythm of the ‘I’, which he must at least understand in entirety; if not own and possess. Ownership is rather a subject top on the list of unlearning schedule…

There is no definitive me; only probabilistic ‘I’. It seems so. This ‘I’ in its holism and entirety is like a mound of clay. It is huge heap of Information. The linearity of Time; its manifestations in milieus, add water, make it a dough of clay. Then; as the demand and situation of milieus determine; different sizes, shapes and forms of ceramic toys and potteries are made out of the clay dough. A toy or a pottery made, and in retrospection of Time linearity, is definitive ‘I’. But, this transformation of probabilistic ‘I’ into a definitive ‘I’ happens only when Time changes dimensions and leads it into definitiveness of form. The ceramic toys and potteries are the memories of experiences, stacked and stored in brain states, available for profitable commerce to the ‘owner’ called consciousness.

Raw clay is always probabilistic; ceramic however, is definitiveness and an irreversible linearity. The ‘purpose’, which the consciousness opts, transforms the clay into ceramic. Information as clay is transformed into tangibility and definitude of reality, only when a purpose of water is added into it to change its form to exactitude. It seems like a destined journey of inevitability – the clay of information and its probabilistic multi-dimensionability seems innately aligned and synced to causality of Time linearity, which in turn unleashes the probabilities of ceramic definitiveness, as water of purposes are added. The toys and potteries happen. It is inevitable.

Does it mean; more, varied and amenable mound of clay of information is invite to larger and better probabilities? However, there is this critical element of ‘art and artistry’, to create definitiveness of ‘forms’ of ceramic reality, out of raw clay. There is a science of life-living, waiting for art and artistry to happen, to diversify it into multidimensionality. Information as probabilistic precariousness is of little use if there is no art and artistry to use it aesthetically and with commercial viability. Does this mean; consciousness as information processing media is useless, until ‘I’ or Self has this artistry to transform it into meaningfulness? If consciousness is science, what exactly is art and artistry? How does it happen; arrive? Here again, the conundrum of ‘I’, self, consciousness, purpose and meaningfulness remain unresolved!

He begins to think; life-living linearity may