Cliche by ninja jinx (best classic novels .TXT) đ
- Author: ninja jinx
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I swung the bag onto my shoulders when I was done and grabbed a pair of sandals from the floor, and listened for any movement from downstairs. I felt like I was robbing the damn place. I snuck out using my epic ninja skills, and I even tried rolling on the floor, but boy was it an epic fail.
âOk bye Mrs. Tuckerâ I whispered quietly, because I donât think I can face her after I know what sheâs done. Cue the winking people. But of course this is Mrs. Tucker where talking about, the lady with inhuman hearing. She can hear anything, and I mean it. âBye honey. Oh, and can you tell Sarah to come home, itâs been three daysâ she screeched. âThree daysâ I mutter, âI wonder what she was doingâ I whispered to myself. âWhat?â
âOh yeah, inhuman hearing. Forgotâ.
âNothing Mrs. Tucker just singingâ I screamed back. âWow, arenât I just smooth when it comes to making excusesâ. Note the sarcasm people.
I bolted out of the house and toyed with the thought of telling Sarahâs mum that Sarah was pregnant. After all, this really did cause a lot of stress for me. Na, itâll be better if I donât. Even Iâm not that cruel, and I suppose I still want to be Sarahâs friendâŠ.deep down.
I unlocked my car and swung the bag into the backseat, the car creaking and complaining under the sudden weight. âShush upâ I muttered, âyou canât complain now, we have a pregnant woman on the looseâ.
It gave another loud groan as I got in and I hit the dash board, âyou calling me fatâ I shrieked mockingly. And yes my car and I have a very tight bond; Iâve had it for ages.
Like I said before, the trip wasnât that long, and by the time I was at the front door I got this bad feeling in my tummy. It was like a washing machine and I clutched the duffel bag to my chest more securely.
âOh shit, why is there a bitch in my house?!â
Ok, letâs take a breather people. I wasnât talking about a Sarah or anyone else. No what I meant was that there was a legit bitch in my house. You know those hairy creatures that bark a lot. Yeah thatâs what I was talking about.
Anyhow back to the story. So there I was staring at this beast; which might I say was eating what looked like brains. And I nearly shat myself. âOh my god, what if what itâs eating is actually Sarah?â
This beast thing committed murder, and Iâll be charged of felony!
Holy mother of Jebus.
Cue the music. âDan Dan duhâ.
âOh Sarah I should have come home sooner. Now youâre just a pile of ugly intestinesâ I wailed as I fell to my feet defeated âand I wasted petrolâ.
The dog turned its hideous face to me, and I knew at that moment it was my end.
Au revoir world, itâs sad to see Iâll never get to finish watching Avatar. Its eyes lit up and were glowing a bright red. Oh shit itâs a demonic dog.
âIsabelâŠwhy are you on the floor?â I heard a voice call from above.
Looking to the ceiling I called âHoly fudge monkeys is that you SpongeBob?â
âHuh?â was the bright reply.
âOh now I can die a happy womenâ
âWait whatâ
âI just wish I had been able to save Sarah and the baby then-â
âBut Iâm right hereâ
âThen it allâŠwait whatâ
There was silence as I saw someone descend the stairs.
âIsabel I donât know whatâs going onâ
Oh would you look at that, Sarah seems perfectly unscathedâŠha, ha, ha. Laugh it off BellyâŠ.
But then the dogâŠ.
âOh my God Sarah donât come any closer. Thereâs a demonic dog thatâll eat your brains! So stay backâ I bellowed.
Silence.
No! The dog must have gotten her.
âIsabel this is scruffels, heâs my dogâŠâ
Oh shit that âthingâ was her dog. Thatblading demonic fiend. Wow, what is the world coming to?
âOh right I knew thatâ I muttered lamely as I got up and dusted fake dust particles. Sarah had the decency to not comment on my epic fail, because if she did, Iâll probably punch her and send her to heaven.
Ok, Iâm not always violent, itâs just you mess with my pride, you mess with me. I have a huge ego and mum says itâs from dad. I guess you could relate him to me in that aspect, but Iâm more of a motherâs child.
âDid you bring the clothes?â Sarah enquired as she petted the dogâs head. âYeah hereâ I said as I handed her the bag, âand that thing stays outsideâ.
She pouted her lips as she gave me her biggest eyes, and it truly made her look like her eyeballs were going to shoot out of their sockets. âMy house, my rules.â
Few hours later
âSarah how did you get âpregnantâ in the first place?â I inquired as I sat cross legged on the bed. There was a mumbling on the other side of the door, before she opened it and sauntered out in some jeans and a tight black shirt. Was it just me, or did she look a little bit fatter?
She flopped down on the bed and I tumbled forward. Yes, Iâm not exactly the strongest and heaviest person in the world. âWell, how should I begin?â
âYou could start from the startâ I said impatiently. Because seriously I am really curious, and the suspense has been killing me.
âFine, well at first I had started vomiting and I thought I was sick of some yucky disease, but then I didnât get my period and I was like âoh my godâ. So I went to the pharmacy or whatever and got one of those tests, and went into their bathroom. Then when the thing was revealed I was like having a break down. I was pregnant. It was like my world was crashing down on me. My fame, my life, everything. So I came here, because this was where I knew my saving grace wasâ
Saving grace my ass.
âWhoâs the fatherâ I asked and the silence which befell us was likeâŠâŠ.
She cleared her throat awkwardly and shifted in her spot. Oh no, this is not going to be good.
âThe principleâŠâ
Oh shit people, call 911, I just had a heart attack.
Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe inâŠ.
âWHAT THE HELL!â
âI-it w-wasâ. Yeah bitch stutter all you want, but I am not letting this go.
âI-I m-mean, it was the only way to get him to let me have a perfect report!â she wailed.
Huh?
âI was failing all my classes and mum said if I failed this term sheâll said me to a nunneryâ.
âSo you slept with the principleâ.
Meekly nodding her head she wiped her eyes, and I felt defeated at that moment. Why was I helping her?
âAnd any way, I wouldnât have done âitâ if he wasnât good in bedâ she whispered timidly.
Oh my god, this isnât the first time. Ok now Iâve been sent to heaven.
âSarah, what are you going to doâ I said as I fell on my back. Shrugging her shoulders she looked at me, âthatâs why I came hereâ she said brightly.
How is it me thatâs the most disturbed by this? Grrr, stupid youth.
âDoes he know that you carry his child?â I asked.
âNo. I havenât told himâŠ.â
âYou shouldâ I muttered. âBut this is your problem, so you take the next stepsâ.
Stretching as I got up, I glanced at her to see that she had tears filling her eyes.
âIâll just helpâ.
She smiled gratefully as she rubbed her hand soothingly against her bump.
âAre you going to keep it?â
âYeah.â She said gently, and for a moment I saw a different side to Sarah. Maybe this baby could help her see the world in a different lightâŠ.
âBut do you think Iâm going to put on some weight?â
Just kidding.
Chapter 3: the hunger games
Chapter 3: The hunger games
âOh my god Isabel, I am so hungry!â Sarah cried as she raided my cupboards and stuffed her cheeks. âNo shit Sherlockâ I muttered darkly as she ate my food in front of me. âI can just die of hunger. I mean no offense but-â
Ok time to tune her out.
Signing I grabbed the TV remote and flipped through the channels. News, cartoon, ad, newsâŠ.holy cows, the Looney Tunes. Step back people because Bugs Bunny is entering the ho- âIsabel are you even listening to me!â Sarah screeched as she flung herself on the sofa. âIâm bloody hungry and-â
âSo? What do you want me to do?â Ok, yes I know sheâs pregnant, but no one gets in the way of the classic cartoons. âI want you to get your ass to the market and buy me some bloody foodâ she screamed. Ok crazy women holding a bar of chocolate in her hand and beating the crap out of the cushion. âOk calm down Sarahâ I said soothingly, âput the weapon down and step away from the cushion.â
âHa, ha, ha never you mongrel. This is the end; prepare to meet your doom!â
Cue music.
Wait, what am I doing! And whatâs with these lines, I mean talk about clichĂ©.
âFine, Iâll get you some food. Just donât burn the house down and donât bring that dog inâ.
If it is a dogâŠ
âYip-yip, food.â What the hell was that noiseâŠ.
âWhat do pregnant women want anyway?â I groaned as I got up and made my way to the door.
This is so tiresome, and here I thought I could spend my time blissfully enjoying the holidaysâŠ.
Grabbing my car keys and my purse I made my way outside and into the hot summer day. Where the sun was whipping at my back and beating the air out of me. I was so grateful to reach my truck and I nearly sang and praised the Lord.
But of course nothing goes my way, and the car just happened to âbreak downâ. Though I have my suspicions that a greater power is at work here. Or some hobo used some magic and murdered my car. Ah, imagine the headlines. âHobo who kills cars, could your car be next?â
Snorting I leaned my back against the exterior and stared blankly at my house. It was an average two story complex and was painted a pale blue. The front lawn had a random fountain at the front, which was right in the center. And the flowers surrounding it were all withered, but thatâs to be expected from this heat.
Ok, well I canât really enter the house or Iâm sure to get skinned alive and hanged from the washing line. And I canât really hitch hike because I may be gagged and raped. So the only option is to walk. Oh my god, shoot me now. Either way, Iâll probably die of thirst and starvation before collapsing. But itâs the only option I have.
After walking the grueling path to the shops
I made it! And itâs so good to feel the cool air after entering the market. But I canât savor the moment for too long, because Sarah might do something rash if I donât come home with food. Ok, what to get.
Looking around I realized I should have asked Sarah what she wanted. I tried calling her, but she didnât answer. Oh no, sheâs probably lying dead on the floor
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