My Wolf by M.V. B (reading diary .txt) 📖

.. Little did i know i should've went with them. My Story pt 2

 -Hazel's POV-

I ran to the bathroom, tears streaming down my face. I couldn't believe it.. I couldn't stop crying. Half way closing the door someone stops it. I looked up to find Liam. "Please, leave" i begged " No, not until you stop crying" " Please, Hazel, tell me what's wrong." those words froze me. I wasn't going to tell him.. Last time i tried he called told everyone i slept around with random guys. "Nothing's wrong!" I responded screaming.. I looked down at my feet to block my face from his view. "There's nothing wro-" i was cut of because he hugged me. "What are you doing?" i asked panicking i don't usually make physical contact with people. He didn't answer, but stayed there hugging me, tightly- and it felt really good. Whenever i do any physical contact with anyone i feel so vulnerable and defenseless, so i stay away from people. But, i feel safe in his hand/arms for some reason. 

 

*Throw Back*

Kayce left and I was headed to my tutor, Mr. Shane. Mr. Shane was helping me with my math which i was horrible at. I rung his door bell and waited for him to open. Usually he'd open and walk back in so that i'd close the door, but today was different, he held the door open for me. At that moment i knew that something was up, but i ignored it because Mr. Shane was always doing weird things. 

 

About 5 minutes into our lesson, Mr. Shane gave me some sheets to do so that he could check where i was at. As i was doing the worksheet i felt his gaze on me. I felt truly uncomfortable so i ask with a fake smile "What?" i thought everything was fine when he answered " Oh, it's just that there's something in your hair." I awkwardly laughed it off, getting back to work. I didn't really care, so I just left it alone. Then he suggested that he took it off for me. I shook my head no, telling him it was fine, and that it didn't matter, but he insisted he take it out. Before I could protest any further, he was already next to me, getting ready to take whatever was in my hair off. He brushed my hair with his fingers, while his other hand made its way to my shoulder, brushing over it slightly.. I pulled away standing up" What are you doing?" I asked, panic clearly in my voice. He too stood up and replied cocklily " Your skin is so soft." how absurd.. - I thought i'd have enough time to leave, but i didn't. He grabbed my wrist tighty and pulled me closer to him. At that moment i knew i was about to lose my virginity to an old man and, that disguted me.

My Story pt 3

 -Dameon's POV-

 I held her cold petite body close to mine, giving her a tight hug. I hated seeing her this way. I never want to see her this way, but yet i keep making her this way. I thought for a moment to leave, but i didn't want to leave her here all alone. I still don't understand what is going on though. But at that moment that didn't matter, all that mattered was, Hazel.

 

-Hazel's POV-

 His hug was so warm and he smelt so good, like mint. I've never hugged someone like this before. I just wanted to stay like this all day. But i pulled back for that intoxicating smell not wanting him to see how intoxicated i was. Immediantly i regreted pulling away from his warm hug, i was cold again. "Thank you" i had to thank him " For what" he asked "Hmm.. for not leavng- me here alone" i responded honestly. Although i was completely emotional, It was the best company i'd have in forever. ---- Walking him out i didn't want him to go. In my mind i kept screaming 'please, don't leave' but in the end, it couldn't be helped.

*Throw Back*

 I tried tugging my wrist from his grip, but it was no use. He was way stronger than i was. Knowing i wouldn't have any chance on leaving, tear started swimming in my eye. Why- why me? I don't want this. I was still a virgin, but in a few minute i would no longer be one. I had plan to have sex with the perfect guy, but there i was about to get raped by a wrinkled old man. He pushed me onto his coach, and unzipped his pants. All i could do at that moment was plead him to stop, hope that he'd somehow come to his senses. " Please, Mr. Shane, you don't have to do this, please, i don't want to." i repeatedly said crying. He ingored every single word that came out of my mouth. Tear were streaming down my eye crazily. I hoped that someone would stop him. Someone would save me. He slid his pants and boxers off and came at me on the coach. " Help! Help! Help!" i kept screaming as loud as i could, but no one heard, or at least no one helped me. He pushed up my skirt and positioned himself between me. In my ear he kept whispering " This is what you wanted, huh? Isn't it?" "No! i dont" i screamed " Please, stop" i begged again before he entered me. He slapped me and told me to 'shut up.' When he entered me i lost hope. It was over, i was no longer a virgin. Tear wouldn't stop running down my face. He repeatedly kept saying " You love it don't you? You slut you love it" he pounded into so hard, my entrance ached so horribly bad. Why? Why did this have to happen to me. " Stop, please stop" i begged one last time, but again it was no use. I laid there lifelessly, giving up on fighting. There was no point on fighting anymore. I felt violated, dirty, disgusted, anger, sadness, and shame.

My Story pt 4

-Dameon's POV-

It could hear her thoughts. They were so loud and clear. She wanted me to stay, but i knew it was best if i left. As much as i wanted to stay with her, stay by her side, comfort her, i thought it was best if i gave her some space.

 

-Hazel's POV-

He left. And I was all alone with my thoughts. *sigh* what do i do now?- I walked up to my room again and lied down on my bed.

 

*Throw Back*

 That night i walked home feeling guilty. It was my fault. If i hadn't gon to 'tutor' but the party instead, this wouldn't have happened. It  was sad for me, beacause i had no one to talk to. My mother was never really home. I got home and went right into the shower so that i would take a bath. - I spent about 1hour in there hoping i would wash away the disgusting feeling i had over wealming me. I felt so dirty, disgusted, annoyed, and all I could do was cry. I felt horrible. How could this've happened??  But at the end of the day i had to accept the fact that i was fuck/raped by an old man. I felt as if i could kill anything/anyone who came around me.-- After that day i was never comfortable with anyone touching me. Anywhere. I  would reflexively flinch or move away quickly if anyone was coming/came close to me. I also felt that if anyone touched me, they would get just as dirty as me or they'd know what had happened and i didn't want anyone to know. I wanted to call the cops, but he warned me not to. He threatened me actually. At that time i was in love with someone that was really special to me, and he thretened that he'd make his life horrible if i told. I wouldn't want someone i love so much to suffer because of me, so i said nothing, and pained alone and silently.

 I dont regret not telling only because, i somewhat saved someone i truely loved's life from not doing so but, after that i regret everything that happened that day. I just don't know what to feel about sex now anymore. Is it even that good? Because it felt so utterly disgusting.

Your Little Games

 -Hazel's POV-

I walked into school the next day completely tired. I didn't get any sleep because i kept getting flashbacks. UGH! "Good Morning." i turned around to find Liam smiling so brightly, i thought i was about to go blind. But i killed the mood "Why are you talking to me?" i asked annoyed walking away. He caught up to me " Can't i?" he asked. I stopped walking " Did you hit your head or something? You know we're at school right?" sighing and walking again i added " This can RUIN your reputation." he