Damaged Beyond Repair by Kashmira Kamat (KittyKash) (ebook reader below 3000 .txt) 📖

"I promised to change." He held my hands, "but I fucked up again, I'm...I'm scared, Alana."

"Scared about what?"

"Scared to think you might want to walk away one day." He whispered as his body shook from the aftershocks.

"I'm not going anywhere." I assured him, running my fingers through his wavy locks.

He shook his head, "you might want to, because I always do this. Always. I can never change no matter how hard I try. You don't deserve this. I don't deserve you." More tears streamed down his face, "If I were you, I'd dump my ass this second. And, Dwight's right, I'm a fucking psychopath."

"Listen to me, Rowan, stop with the self-loathing already." I inched closer to him, "You're a wonderful man, and you've been constantly taking care of your responsibilities. You left a job so I could continue with my college and it isn't easy being a single father and looking after a child. I think you give me a load of reasons to love you rather than a reason to walk away."

"You're saying this because I'm starting to grow on you." There it was, the tormented distant look again, "My family doesn't care about me, Alana They look at me like I'm some project gone horribly wrong. I've shamed each and every person; I've hurt everyone I knew."

"That's not true. They haven't looked into your eyes; they haven't looked into your soul and seen the man I have." His features were smoldering again, which was my cue to realize I was doing the right thing. "Dwight wanted to get on your nerves because he wanted to see how you'd react to the situation. I know what he said was wrong and I'm not on his side, but if it was a test to check how you were coping with your emotions, you failed in it."

I wiped the tears that teetered and grazed his cheeks. "Nobody is going to get to raise a finger on you next time. We'll make sure of it."

Rowan shook his head, still pulling at his hair, "You don't understand why he's doing that. I know my brother so well. Dwight wants me crazy, in fact he'll make sure I re-admit the psyche-ward if I'm showing good results now. He is a calculating bastard."

Re-admit in the psyche-ward?

His erratic breathing took pace again.

"Rowan, Just calm down." I rubbed his back.

"He wants to be the only one succeeding my father's company and he'll go to any extents to make sure he does." Rowan stared into the wall seeming tormented by something that I was yet to uncover, "I'm not interested in the company, Alana; I want none of it...but..."

"But what?"

"I'll die if they take away Minnie from me."

That was my ultimate Jaw-drop moment, "why would he do that?"

He went on without paying much attention to my question, "Dwight's trying to steal her away from me, he'll prove it to everyone that I'm not good enough to take care of her." he started sobbing softly, "I can't live without her Alana, I just can't. She is my life, my lost hope."

I pulled his head to level with mine, "Look at me Rowan, do you trust me?"

I stared back into his lifeless hollow eyes.

"More than I trust myself."

"Listen to me carefully; I will not let anybody take Minnie away from you, alright?" I didn't know where I got that confidence from, the man falling apart in my arms was probably the reason, "I'll make sure she stays with you. I promise. No matter what."

"Thank you so much, Alana." He sobered up a little. "You make everything seem so much better. You're such a nice girl."

"We'll get through this together." Rowan and his contagious tears be damned, "you and I."

I wrapped my arms around Rowan's broad shoulders and basked in the warmth of his embrace. The world outside could have been forgotten. We sat that way for god knows how long and after a while when I checked, he seemed to have slipped into a peaceful slumber like a baby. Rowan deserved happiness like every other person did, and I wanted to give him whatever little happiness I could.

I was just hoping to keep my promises. I would have never made any false promises if I knew I wouldn't be able to keep them in the end.

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