She is the one by Asheslove (mobi reader android TXT) 📖

A new power and energy surged in me after talking to my parents. The push he pulled down find me again and this time it is much greater and stronger than before. I have to escape from him if I can’t for meself then for my family. I had given promise to my mom and now whatever happens I’ll have to fulfill it. Once I will be back then everything will be fine but before taking any step I have to hold myself back. I have to clear my head which is filled only with fear and terror, I have to control my mind to think straight, I can’t let anything came between my way not even my fear. 

You are not this pathetic and vulnerable Elena, you never was and neither you are now. You can find a way in the worst possibilities, you always do.

Yes, I have to find a way, I have to leave this place by hook or crook but I have to. 

When he starved me to death and brought me back from hospital, with medicines I also took some of the nutrient injections so I look in my medicines and fortunately found two unused syringes lying there.

Taking one from them I went to bathroom and took out the vial which I hide between sanitary pads. 

When I took it that day I know I'll require it because whatever happened was enough to awake my sleeping demons and since everything resurfaced again I already knew how I will react and just like I feared things are going the same way that I didn’t wanted them.

Nightmares, images, anxiety, blankness, and hallucinations all are affecting me and the only way to get rid from them is this. It’s not a permanent method but temporarily it work. Now I only have five days left before Friday and I can’t let my fear took my steps back and I can use it only for two times.

In my past when my condition worsens after that incident doctors prescribed few antidepressants, ketamine is also one from them, to help me in my depression and suicidal thoughts when I suffered from self destruction, anxiety, panic attacks and trauma. It just took the brain at different level where you don’t feel any pain or fear from anything. It’s been three years since the last I used any type of drug to control myself; I handled my nightmares and trauma at my own level by engaging my mind in different activities that can reduce my stress but it’s not same now. There was nothing to trigger me then but now all memories are flooded back and the only way to get rid from these is blocking this part for few hours.

Lower dose can make you relieve your stress and fear but by any chance if the dose goes higher than its harmful; it turned things more worst then they already were making a condition of k-hole which is truly sick as it makes whole body paralyze. I experinced a lot of things in those two years after that horrible incident but never dreamt that my life will brought me in a situation like this where I will require those worst experiances to help myself.  

I carefully filled the syringe and tightened my fist.

“Everything will be fine; you just have to stay strong, it’s gonna be fine.’ I encouraged myself and clenching my jaw injected it in my arm and squeezed my eyes shut when the content went in.

My heart beat increased rapidly, sweat appeared on my temple and head started to spin round and round like I was drowning deep down. After about approx ten minutes I opened my eyes only to feel like levitating. I pinched my skin between my two fingers to check whether my brain is still working or not and it is, so I am completely fine. I put the remaining vial back where I hide it and threw the used syringe out of the window which shows nothing but a vast forest outside, not wanting to take any risk.

I am going to escape from here before Friday at any cost.        

In evening he came back. Generally after he left in the morning then the only time I saw him is on breakfast table and since that attack not on even that as he always came back at late in night from whatever work he do.

Its first time I saw him back before midnight in evening.

He checked on me in the room like he was doing from past few days after my panic attack and told me to get ready and saying this went straight in his office. 

I didn't question anything because all I have to do is just follow him without any question.

I put a v neck satin green colored thin sleeved dress and matched it with cream colored wedges. Now he won’t choose attire for me and gave my liberty back because the cupboard was all already filled with the cloths of his choice so indirectly it’s still him but I stopped complaining, because now he gave me many other reasons and matters to deal and hate him.

I put the lipstick and was putting makeup to hide marks on my face which were given by myself instead of him when he came from behind. He snacked his hand around my waist and pulling me backwards closer to his body, he put his chin on my shoulder and placed a soft kiss on my neck.

‘You are looking beautiful Cara Mia’ he whispered tucking my earlobe. I looked at him from the mirror, his eyes shining with pleasure. My body heated and a shiver run down my back, I hate this man but my body always reacts on his touch without hesitation but again it’s just a physical reaction, I will never feel anything other then hatred for him in my heart. 

Usually I felt a lot of emotions when I saw him, pain, fear, anger, hatred, disgust and many more but since I was on drug my emotions turned down and all I feel was calmness, no fear, no pain, no sadness, hate is still present but I didn’t act. I didn't said anything just kept looking at him from mirror and I dont know why but I felt like he was waiting for me to say something or reply back. 

“Go down and wait for me” saying this giving a last look to me he sighned releasing me and went in the bathroom. After I was done I look at my reflection in mirror, effect of drug, I don’t saw blood on myself which was a relief.

I came down in the kitchen and gulped a glass of water. Maids left early since he had other planes so I was all alone. I was sitting at the counter when my eyes fall on his office. I had seen every part of his place carefully instead of his office. Without thinking anymore or giving any second thought about him I went straight to his office and entered inside. After taking a long look all around when I was about to leave I accidently found about something which happened with me coincidentally.