Ugly Duckling: No One Wants Me by Hlengiwe Mathebula (13 inch ebook reader txt) đź“–
- Author: Hlengiwe Mathebula
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“Nah it’s cool. You paid the driver that day I forgot to” I tell. He’s still hugging me. I think I’m getting used to being hugged. “I love you” he tells me kissing my forehead. There goes my heart.
“I love you too” I tell him.
“I have to go. I’ll see you later” he tells me then he walks out with some guy I’m assuming is his cousin. I go inside and I find the sisters and cousins already preparing breakfast, I join them and before we know it. It’s 7am. Joyce’s husband walks in, smiling and he sees Smanga the smiled is wiped off his face and he disappears to the bedroom. Joyce’s neighbours are coming for ukududuza. I serve them tea and biscuits. Njabulo’s siblings are really good at cooking hey. Their mother must be proud. Speaking about their mother, I haven’t seen their parents. This is strange. We’re busy serving people I don’t see Mcebo and his family coming in. Smanga is trying to distract Mcebo until I leave the room but it’s too late. I feel tears in my eyes. I can’t help but think about the cruel things he said and to make things worse he remembers me. If we met under different circumstances and in a different place I wasn't going to be polite. “Hello, Mcebo how have you been?” I ask him.
"Been good thanks. Didn't your parents tell you? I got married 4 months back. Meet my beautiful wife, Selinah" he says pointing to a very beautiful lady with a model body. Hmmm she's so beautiful.
"Oh you're so beautiful. I am Mbali, nice to meet you" I tell her shaking her hand. I mean she's beautiful.
"Oh so you're Mbali. Now I see why Mcebo left you at the altar" she had to say that. I don't say anything I just take the tray back to the kitchen. There are people who still need to be served. When I return with the biscuits and tea, Mcebo and his wife refuse to take them. His family does, his parents and his 2 sisters. After an hour they leave, I'm so relieved. We're taking a break, there's no one. We were so busy we forgot that Joyce hasn't eaten anything. Phindile prepares something for her. They are close, they are also 9 months apart. I miss Njabulo but I am lazy to switch my phone on. Smanga hurries towards me handing me her phone. Pheeew it's Njabulo. We talk for 10 minutes and it's never enough. We never talk for 10 minutes but it's busy I understand. I hate it when we have to hang up. I always feel like crying. I'm relieved no one told him about Mcebo don't want him worrying about me. I'm a big girl now. At least I saw him maybe I'll get over the pain. Even though I have been rejected all my life, it still hurt to be left at the altar, even by a stranger.
At least it's not that busy in the morning and during the day because most people are at work. The food is ready for family members. It's a little after 10 and Joyce's parents aren't here and I'm really curious now. Maybe they don't get along. We decide to go stay with Joyce since she's currently alone. She talks about her kid, it's heart breaking. We've been sitting with her for an hour when 2 people walk in. They're their parents. Njabulo looks so much like his mom, body wise he takes after his father. His mom is very tall 5 '9 I think with greying hair, brown eyes slender like all her children, she must be in her early 60s or late 50s, light in complexion. His dad is also tall 6 '2 I think with greying hair, he's also slender with brown eyes. So I take that as my queue to leave. I am sitting outside alone just thinking about Njabulo when Mcebo and his wife join me. She talks about herself, Mcebo's wealth and her looks. Beauty with no brains, I wonder how Mcebo survives. She's 5 '3 with blonde weave, flat stomach, hips, big bums and breasts. I feel sorry for such girls, she depends on her looks so much it even hurts, not because I'm not beautiful. But what if something happens and her looks are no longer there. What’s she going to depend on? I mean she doesn't have a business not even a small tuck shop. At least I have my qualifications something I can always depend on no matter what. You can't depend on looks and marriage. People get old, some change and leave you. But I rest assured that no matter what my qualifications will never ever leave me. We sit there listening to her talk, I can tell that Mcebo's embarrassed by her stupidity. I love the colour of her lip stick even though I don't wear makeup.
"I love the colour of your lip stick" I tell her.
"I can always borrow you" she replies.
"Oh no thanks. I don't wear makeup" she looks so surprised.
"Why?"
"I just like being natural no makeup, no fake hair no offence"
"None taken sweetheart". We go mute for some time. She borrows Mcebo's car keys she wants to drive around.
"You know, I never had the chance to actually know you. I mean your age, what you do for a living and stuff like that" Mcebo tells me after 30 minutes of sitting there in silence. I am so surprised, where's this coming from now? "Me too all I knew is that you are rich. That's what my family told me" I tell him.
"Oh yeah?" he asks really surprised. "Yup" I reply popping the p. I decide to switch my phone on. There are no missed calls or voicemail messages from my family. I guess they decided to give me a break. I check my emails. There's nothing. I decide to check my results and I passed with distinctions gosh this is great. I call Njabulo immediately as soon as he answers I tell him the good news. "Oh baby I am so proud of you..." he's about to continue when his brother calls him in the background saying it's urgent.
"Go" I tell him, he tells me we'll talk when he comes back. "So you're a student. Which subject are you rewriting?" that's Mcebo. Oh boy I love it when people look down on me. "Yes, I am a student. I wasn't rewriting any subject" I tell him, still looking at my phone. "Yoh you have time dear, I didn't go back to school when I failed my Grade 9. School is useless. I am beautiful so I can actually use that" This girl is stupid, I'm just too speechless to say anything. So I keep quiet. "What do you do for a living?"
"I am a freelance writer. You?" I ask her.
"What's a freelance writer? I am a model. For some company in Durban"
"That's great" I don't know what to say to her.
"Sisi can I borrow your car key. I think I forgot my shoes" that's Smanga. I give her the keys. The look on Mcebo and Selinah faces when they see the logo on the keys. "You drive a Mercedes? Selinah looks surprised. Which model? Hmmm 2002 I bet" I don't answer her I just go mute. Smanga returns with the keys. Mcebo's phone rings and he answers it, he takes Selinah's hand and they leave. I'm busy texting Njabulo when Mcebo returns, to ask me to accompany them. They ran out of petrol. Because there's nothing to do, I decide to accompany them. I smile when I see Selinah standing in front of an old Mercedes, waiting for me. I walk past her. Oh the look they have on their faces when they see my machine is priceless. I get that all the time. A 23 year old with a Mercedes SUV. I get on the driver’s seat and wait for the 2 to recover and get in. "Is this your car?" Mcebo asks.
Yes duuh dummy
"Yes" I reply with a smile. I ask for directions.
"Kanti what were you writing?" that's Selinah.
"My Masters exam" I tell her, I hope she knows what that is hahaha. I think I'm getting nasty by the day. "Masters?" she asks clearly confused. Her husband explains what that is to her.
"I thought you only have matric like your sisters"
"You thought wrong." I don't know what more to say to them. Mcebo is asking many questions as if he doesn't believe me. I wait for them outside some gate for 10 minutes and they return with a plastic I hope the plastic don't have anything illegal. We drive back Mcebo is busy questioning me. When we get to Joyce's house, I hear voices people shouting at each other. So since I'm not family I return to my car and wait there. After about an hour Njabulo comes to the car. I've never seen him this angry, I'm even scared. So we just sit there in uncomfortable silence. He will tell me when he's ready. Smanga is walking towards the car crying. So I go to her to cry and console her. She's trying to explain why she is crying but I can't hear anything so I tell her to calm down first, she'll explain later. We just stand there. Once she has calmed down she explains the situation. Bonga, Joyce's husband has not been paying their insurance policy so their insurance won't help them, and they don't have that kind of money. The whole funeral will cost about R15 000 excluding groceries and transport and both the families only have R7 000. Yoh this is bad and Joyce is thinking of borrowing money from a loan shark. This is bad. Why did Bonga stop paying something so important? I have the kind of money, but I can't offer they have to ask me first. I don't want them thinking I'm looking down on them. "What did Mcebo say? He has businesses, can't she borrow the money from him?" I ask her. "I doubt Mcebo doesn't help people even if they are family, I'll tell Joyce to ask him" "Okay please get back to me". This is a mess no wonder Njabulo is this mad. I go back to him, he's still silent. We just stay there.
This is getting too much. "Are you okay?" I turn to him and what I see breaks my heart. He has tears in his eyes. I just open the door and run to his side. I just hold him. Njabulo is always smiling and laughing seeing him like this breaks my heart. I just hold him and we stay like that for like 5 minutes. Phindile comes to fetch him, there's another family meeting which takes almost 3 hours. This is bad. I'm hungry now, so I go inside to tell him that I wanna go grab a bite. But he tells me to dish and eat, there's enough food. I can hear Joyce crying. This is bad. What kind of a husband and father does that? I dish up rice and cooked potatoes and I take my plate outside. While I'm sitting there, I see everyone leaving except for her parents and siblings. Soon after her parents and brothers leave, Phindile asks me join them. I am done eating so I wash the dishes and join them. Bonga is still there, the air is too thick with tension. Joyce is constantly glancing his way, there's going to be a double funeral here I tell you.
"What are we going to do?" asks Bonga. The nerve of this guy. Joyce just keeps quiet. It doesn't feel right this is a family matter I stand up and head for the door, when Joyce stops me. "What's wrong?" she asks.
"Oh nothing I just feel that this is a private
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