The Space Noir Bar by Michael Marino (readict books .TXT) 📖

face and Maddies reach for her Link Wray it was just about showtime at the old Appollo. “OK Doc now we have a fight on our hands. Those are the Ethel Mermans, and the Bob Fosse Fishnets...two sworn enemies, one is pure Cyborg and the others are  full fledged escaped Erotibots that have been fighting over turf for generations….they’re tough in tights and we have to get through them to get to the Rabbit Hole.”

 

Terrific. I hoped to hell, PMS did not effect female Cyborgs or Eroibots. I was stuck in the urban battleground of two gangs - real Sharks and Jets shit set amidst a stage of Robotian urban decay, switchblades and guns where a cyborg  lesbian finds love in the heart of Maria, a Puerto Rican Erotibot but this insane turf war threatens to keep them divided. Through it all the gangs wage war wearing  Kevlar fishnets using outdated guns doing lavish dance numbers that would make the Bloods and the Crips wince.  I kept waiting for the Rita Moreno Latina-bot to strut her stuff showing her best skirt lifting legs as fireball sexy Latina hot as they come...on fire causing a burning yearning sensation in a man’s groin as she took gyrating and thrusting to a sexual plateau to the tune of "Everything's Free In Robotia!”

Well great, I thought. Show tune gangs!!! Give my regards to Broadway....sing 'em loud and sing 'em proud! There's no business like show business and damn it..no tunes like show tunes! It's time to man up with a fishnet chorus line of Broadway show tunes. Damn the Ethel Merman torpedos, full Sondheim steam ahead. Don't worry about masculinity atrophied or your wrist gone limp...it's Broadway, and you’re a Jet all the way, from your first cigarette to your last dying day! Afraid you won't be a man anymore because you have an urge to hum or sing a gay white way tune...don't worry..and don't ask/don't tell William. It's overture time This is it, the night of nights...It's time for Henry Higgins to come out of your closet to liberate the Liberace that lurks by candelabra light in all of us..yes, you too!

 

The smell of the greasepaint and the roar of crowd, the chorus girls, and yes, effeminate chorus boys too, fishnet stockings, tights with bulges battling, sweet nutcrackers and Desmond tutu's...spotlights and orchestra pits...backstage frolic with onstage follies. A real man can crush a beer a can with one hand and make Busby Berkeley have an orgasm with a display of flawless manly choreography ...one, two, three kick...all backed by a legendary back line of high kicking long legs with thunder packed thighs dripping with sensuous sweat, attached to a fantasy female with spangles and tassels that sparkle and dangle.

 

"Hair" with nudity and music...the two basic food groups of hungry Broadway theatergoers...of course nudity goes with french fries as far as I am concerned so wherever I can get a taste..I'm in!

All Hail Ethel Merman, and when Warner Bros. cartoon characters break out into song singing.."this is it, the night of nights..." grab your best pair of fishnet tights...and let loose a vocal volley...remember...don't ask..don't tell...but above all never mind what others may think of you and your manhood...just smile and keep a stiff upper lip...and be tall and proud as you show off your truly limp wrist!!! The curtain began to rise and we stepped onto the gang war stage...locked and loaded..It was now  showdown showtime Gang...one..two..three...kick...one...two...three...kick!

Chapter 25 - The Eves of Destruction

According to Asrini, the humanoids were called the Eves of Destruction allied with the Rabbits rabid legions to hold the Vortex at all costs. These were the  front line gang grunts assembled into protective cocoon platoons sworn  to protect the Rabbit and to keep the Toho’s and the Eroti-bots  from possessing the prized Falcon. If that happened...the Eve’s would lose their only bargaining chip and would surely be defeated by the Erotibots merciless mercenary onslaught . Next stop...Erotibotization and the galactic bordellos. Both factions fought fiercely in this ghetto tough girl competition. I wouldn’t step into the ring with them with 10 Rowdy Roddy Pipers backing me up! It would be like tossing Shirley Temple from the deck of the Good Ship Lollipop into a  life raft with Rhonda Rousey on a methamphetamine rush.

 

I could see why the Eves were kidnapped..they were magnificent!

 

Take a cup of female domination, add a heaping hymen tablespoon of labia laden lesbian fantasies to excite the eroticism in male and female alike, then add a delicious dash of a sexy female warrior in a leather loincloth with a dripping wet crotch, and you have the recipe for perfect Amazon Queen. The Amazon Warrior has been a large piece of the fabric of the sexual imagination for centuries. Some guys fantasize about having their ass kicked by one, while some females develop girl crushes on these mighty women as adulation and admiration grows in the camps of both genders who passionately place them on a pedestal as the ultimate woman and Goddess!The Amazon has pervaded pop culture in many guises from Wonder Woman on the small screen to the modified version as the modern day femme fatale of the big screen for a healthy dose of tongue in chic and tongue in cheek eroticism.  

 

The sexiest example of "pop goes the Amazon culture" was the fetching 20th Century Xena, Warrior Princess in her erection causing leather loincloth, and super thighs to kill for. Her somewhat "submissive to Xena" girl wonder, Gabrielle helps Xena not only win the day in battle but, also helps to groom her mentors hair lovingly stroking it in a somewhat sensuous manner, and keeps Xena's sword sheath well oiled and slippery. Nothing like a well greased sheath to accept the deep penetration of a long, broad sword after the sexual heat and fury of battle! Gabrielle also looks after her other "needs" and vice versa. That's what warrior friends are for. When it came to genital stimulation for males and females...Xena was a temptress with a raging inferno between her thighs guaranteed to raise an erection as formidable as the Walls of Jericho, and cause a monsoon drenching in even the driest vaginal region. Surfs Up! It's high tide at Vagina Beach!

 

Asrini noticed the look of utter uterus awe on my face. “Down boy. They’ll eat you alive. Some men are merely the other white meat to them while most are usually looked at as a can of dented Spam.” My smile gave me way. I’d be happy being roadkill served up at one of their all you can eat buffets. Hell an orgy of orgasm is about as organic as it gets and beats Tiberian tofu grown synthetically on the Tiber colony.

 

Maddie laughed as though she could read my mind as easily as a Mickey Spillane novel. I was an open book and both girls were turning my pages and playing with my flyleaf.

 

Maddie offered a little more insight. “I fought side by side with the Eves when n assignment. They’ve been kicking ass in combat since they escaped the Tohos and the Vortex Wars began at Fortress Vagina. These are seasoned vets Yucatan.”

 

“These legions of blood thirsty labias make for one hell of a display of girl-on-girl do or die to the death display of feminine force and power! Watch out guys, these girls would and could literally cut your balls off Remember...a hungry hymen is not a happy hymen,” she concluded.

 

I couldn’t help but notice in chauvinist mindset that they also were buck naked up topside.  To prove I am not a chauvinist, I have always supported a woman’s right to bare her chest in public! This is a free galaxy after all and besides Gloria Steinham had one cute cottontail!

 

These Eves were held in high regard and many of them engaged in their first girl crush on a sweaty, well built, powerful comrade in arms (and in bed) female dynamo that was all muscle flexing female panther, while they dripped sexuality by the gallon. That's one way for a woman to win a slave-girl for girl on girl in the bed chamber! Rewards have virtues and lets face it, warrior women make for strange but delicious bed-mates!

 

Some of these females had enough fleshy Retropolin  tits jumping up and down to raise the erection factor where the mere sight of exposed breasts were enough to defeat an onslaught of erection crazed males mesmerized by fleshy mounds of mammaries adorned with nipples the size of broadsword shields on the attack...and if it was that time of the month, a particularly vicious assault could be expected. Even Toho men who have engaged in combat with them paused in battle when menstruation was at it's bloody peak leaving a deadly liquid trail dripping like a raging river of no return behind them as gallons of victorious vagina viscosity oozed creating a particularly blood curdling sight that stopped the male dead in his tracks. Where were tampons when you needed one.? Speaking of tampons, it reminds me of the story of the little Dutch boy who stuck his finger in a dyke..man was she pissed! That is another story…

 

Asrini interrupted by wet day dream eruption just as errant laser fire began blasting our cover in a crumbling building. “You want tough? Try the Rabbit herself. She is a  military genius and I might add, hot as the surface of the planet Mercury. That’s why the Tohos and the Com-reds have a price on her head. The Tohos because she is head of the revolution here against their ertibot apartheid policy and the Com-Reds don’t want her leaving and stirring up resistance in the Dystopian sectors. They want her neutralized. It’s our job to recover the Falcon and get the Rabbit to a safe planet.”

 

“Bullshit Asrini. Our job...my job..I was hired to find your sister. Period. Now we end up in a revolution, where most likely we get our asses shot off and waiting for us behind door number three is Narco Marx, the Ming the Merciless straight out of a midnight madness movie and a bunch of  bozo’s with guns from a comic book or a Vonnegut novel!”

 

Bam..a shrapnel grenade went off near our makeshift  foxhole of brick and stone. “Yeah, I’m listening. You know I didn’t realize we’d be vacationing in Club Nuke damn it. To borrow a phrase..here’s another fine mess you’ve gotten me into!” Asrini laughed it off. ”You’re playing with the big girls now Doc.”

 

This was insane and reminded me of a dream I had once involving battling females  in sex crazed Switzerland during the 13th Century where William Tell was shooting apples off his son’s head, rapists were stealing "virgin cherries" and holding Heidi down by the pigtails while she yodeled for help!

 

My voyeuristic pigtail yodel daydream was interrupted by the sounds of racing footsteps closing in on us at a heart racing jet pack drag race pace. As I sought the sanctuary of darker shadows, Asrini and Maddie stood up erect ready to red rover the intruders who managed to breach our ramshackle perimeter. Or so I mistakenly thought. Instead they began waving wildly at the three armed thugs approaching us head on, weapons