How to Talk to Anyone (Junior Talker #3) by DeYtH Banger (best book club books of all time .TXT) đź“–
- Author: DeYtH Banger
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None. Zero. Nada.
But what they did say was: “I didn’t sleep with him because he was boring.”
Here’s the point. Women love men with strong opinions.
Strong opinions create strong connections.
So instead of keeping your opinion to yourself because you fear losing her, make sure you voice your opinion strongly. It will make your conversations with women more interesting and they’ll love you for it.
Does this mean you need to become that obnoxious guy who gives his opinion about everything all the time?
Of course not. That would be an exaggeration, and women recognize the overcompensating behavior. They’ll label you as insecure.
But now and then in the conversation there will be topics that you have a strong opinion about. When those topics occur, show your opinion STRONGLY.
3. Use Anecdotes and Stories.
Using anecdotes and stories are very powerful ways to make conversations interesting.
Even as children, we love stories. In fact, stories are imbedded in our brain structure.
We’ve been using stories ever since we developed the ability to speak. And we used them to pass on knowledge from generation to generation.
Just the fact that you know how to present an anecdote or tell a story shows you have higher status. And status is a powerful attraction trigger.
Now, don’t worry—you don’t need to become some marvelous story-teller.
You just need to know the basic structure of how to tell a story.
Once you know that, you can tell your anecdotes in that format.
There are eight classic story-telling modelsgoing from the Monomyth (The Hero’s Journey) all the way to the Petal Structure.
But for our purposes here, you just need the simplest three-step structure:
a) A character with a purpose.
A good story needs a character with a purpose
A good story always has a character in it, and that character has a purpose or a goal.
For example, if you tell a story about your first kiss, the character would be YOU and your purpose would be to get the first kiss.
If you want to make it more compelling, you can also talk about the motivation behind the first kiss.
Maybe you wanted that first kiss because the girl dreamed about a first kiss like in a movie and you always wanted to be a movie star. See how this instantly makes the story more interesting?
b) An obstacle between the character and his purpose.
Once the character and his purpose are clear and he’s on his quest to fulfill his purpose, you need to think about the obstacles that might get in his way.
In the case of your first kiss, you might want to think more in detail about the obstacles between you and getting your first kiss.
Maybe she had bad breath? Or maybe you popped a boner when you wanted to kiss her?
You see how this instantly makes the story more dramatic?
c) The resolution.
Once your audience is captivated by the character, his purpose, and the drama of the obstacle between him and his goal, you need to relieve the tension with the resolution.
There are two questions you want to answer in the resolution.
First, did the character get what he wanted?
Second, regardless if he got what he wanted,how did it change him?
And the second is more important than the first. In other words, how the quest changed the character is more important than if he succeeded or failed in his quest.
In fact, describing a CHANGE is the REASON people tell a story.
Here are two ways to end a story by describing a change:
• “That’s why I never…”
• “That’s why I always…”
In the case of your first kiss story, you could end the story (regardless if you succeeded in getting the first kiss or not) by saying “that’s why I decided to not become an actor after all!”
Do you see how this gives the story a punchy, funny finish?
Remember, your goal was to get your first kiss because that girl dreamed about a first kiss like in a movie and you always wanted to become a movie star.
Then when you wanted to finally kiss her, you got an embarrassing boner that screwed it all up. That’s when you decided never to become a movie star.
See how, in this case, the resolution referred back to a change in what you initially wanted?
Initially, you wanted to become a movie star, but your first kiss experience changed you.
Now, of course this is a very condensed explanation about storytelling, but for now it should be enough to help you on your way.
So here’s an implementation assignment to help you prepare some stories.
Step 1: Look for areas in your life where you changed something. You can do this by finishing the following statements:
• “That was the moment I realized…”
• “I’ll never do that again because…”
Step 2: Structure the journey that led you to that change in the story-telling format.
Ask yourself:
• What was my purpose?
• What was my motivation behind it?
• What obstacles, conflicts, or drama were standing in the way of my goal?
• Did I reach my goal?
• How did it change me?
Everybody has made changes in his life. By talking about those changes in the story-telling structure, you actually make your conversations interesting. So why not use it?
By the way, it’s not lying. You are talking about stuff that actually happened to you.
The only thing you do is you tell it in a compelling way instead of a boring way.
There’s nothing wrong with that.
Also, don’t confuse this with telling DHV stories. DHV (delivering high value) stories are tools that pick-up artists use to tell lies about themselves to make them look cool.
When I’m talking about storytelling, I’m talking about sharing things that really happened to you, and doing it in a format that makes the conversation more interesting.
4. Use Current Gossip.
As an intelligent introverted man, you might not like this one.
You might not want to talk about Kim Kardashian’s big ass.
You probably prefer reading a good book or understanding more intellectual things than Kim’s big butt.
And I totally get it. I’m the same way.
But bear with me for a moment so I can put things in perspective.
Sometimes in a conversation, there is a lull with a very awkward silence.
In that moment, you need to make a choice.
Do you let the conversation die and risk her associating these awkward feelings with you, or do you use a wildcard that is guaranteed to get you out of this situation?
I’d suggest you use the wildcard.
That wildcard is CURRENT gossip.
Current gossip is something almost all women love.
Don’t make the mistake of thinking that only dumb women love gossip.
That’s false.
Even very intelligent women know about the latest things happening to celebrities like who’s sleeping with who, etc.
In fact, very successful and intelligent women still find the time to be in the know about these things.
So don’t make the mistake of thinking, “If she’s into that, she must be a dumb bimbo.”
She’s not.
So now that I’ve taken away all of the reasons that would prevent you from using this powerful tactic, let’s see how it works.
As I said, the best time to use it is at moments where you feel the conversation is really slipping away in an awkward silence.
By the way, you can use this on dates with women or you can also use it at dinner with a group of friends to inject energy in the conversation.
The way you do it is simple.
You just ask her OPINION on some CURRENT gossip.
When you do, watch what happens. People usually get all pumped up and full of energy and life when they start talking about current gossip.
And, by the way, it doesn’t have to be about Kim’s butt.
It can be about anything.
For example, if “America’s Got Talent” is on, you might ask her who her favorite is.
So here’s your implementation assignment for this.
Set away JUST FIVE MINUTES per day to stay up to date with the latest gossip.
That’s all. Just five minutes per day.
You can use Buzzfeed or Yahoo for this.
Conclusion.
Most men have boring conversations with women. They talk and behave in ways that trigger women’s auto-responses, creating an atmosphere of polite detachment in the process.
The result: she’ll blame the man for the boring conversation. To her, he’ll be just another loser that doesn’t get it. That’s the world your competition lives in.
For you, it will be different. By using the four tips from this article, you’ll be able to give women interesting, exciting and evenaddicting conversations. They will be thinking about you long after you’re gone.
But to be able to use these tactics, you’ll need to be able to hold a conversation for a LONGER time.
Does Being Similar to You Make Me More Attractive, Darling?
Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died. Erma Bombeck
Concerning the classical question of whether "birds of a feather flock together" or "opposites attract," there is consistent evidence in support of similarity, but very little evidence supporting opposites. However, significant similarity may reduce attraction. To what extent, then, does similarity between lovers enhance or inhibit romance?
Similarity in background provides the appropriate circumstances for emotional comparison. Thus, we often envy or are proud of those who were born in the city of our birth, or we typically fall in love with a person who is similar to us or reminds us of someone from our past. Like memory, which improves when we are in circumstances similar to those of the original event, emotions also intensify when we confront circumstances similar to those of highly emotional events; for example, a cemetery, a place where two lovers first met, or the site of a battlefield.
Many findings indicate the importance of background similarity for choosing a mate; dissimilarity is often a source of dissatisfaction and conflicts. Background similarity is manifested in many aspects, including education, socioeconomic background, race, religion, cultural background, physical attractiveness, general attitudes concerning issues like desired family size, sex roles, abortion, capital punishment, and so on. Today, education is an important factor in this regard as it both provides occasions to meet other people and it often expresses the status and opportunities of the other person. It was found, for example, that college attendance is a far better predictor of marriage than religion, ethnicity, or even income.
In parental love, too, the perceived similarity is important. Perception that the child is different from the parent often reduces parental love. Likewise, after the death of a child, parental griefintensity is correlated with the child's similarity to the parent. The importance of similarity in parental love is expressed in the fact that when a new baby is born, one of the first questions asked is: Whom does the baby look like? Background similarity, especially genetic similarity, is probably a major factor in explaining why parental love is typically more intense than romantic love, despite the more exclusive nature of romantic love.
Proximity in current position is another important factor influencing romantic love. For example, proximity in socioeconomic status contributes to forming romantic bonds. Although initial romantic attraction depends on the partner's desirability, so that the most desirable partners elicit the strongest attraction, people eventually settle
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