82 Days Later by Matt Papageorgio (best romance novels of all time .TXT) 📖

The Mayans were right about 2012. But the world doesn't end from global warming, oh no. The apocalypse is brought on by zombies. These aren't your ‘Dawn of the Dead’ slow ones, either. These rotting corpses are pretty fast, at least if you suck at running like me. So, this is my story. The legendary tale of Danny Treehouse, and how the apocalypse wrought change upon everything.

“Ah, man. My head.” I said after waking up. I looked around my room and saw a calendar that somehow had X’s marking off the days, even though I had been asleep. “Oh, boy! I’ve been asleep for 82 days!” I screamed with utter horror after I had counted off all the X’s. As I was wondering how my body could sustain itself for that long, I heard a moan outside my door. “I don’t remember bringing home a lovely lady, so who, or what, could that be?” I wondered aloud. Then, an anorexic that smelt of death with blood all over her burst through my door and went for my throat. “Ahhhhhhh!” I screamed as she bit me, and blood gushed out. I threw a lamp in an attempt to hit her, but missed completely. With a crash, it went through my window. She then bit my arm and clung on. “Looks like this breakup is going to be messy!” I yelled as I attempted to shake her off. I managed to get her off for a fraction of a second when a car drove through my room and ran her over. A handsome young man strode out of the vehicle. “You called?” he asked. “Ummm…. No. Who are you, if I might ask?” I questioned. “Oh, sorry. I’ll be going then. The names G, by the way. Papa G.” and with that, he was gone. I looked out the newly made hole in my room and saw quite a sight. What I realized were zombies were all over the place. The world must have changed while I was asleep. I decided to change it back. With that, I jumped out my house to address the situation first hand.

I soon remembered that I was bitten: I was about to turn into a zombie! “Nooooooo!” I panicked, and a swift change into pure fear overtook me. I stumbled all over the place in an attempt to somehow change my plight. I heard a fearsome chorus of a thousand undead, and defecated in my pants. I remembered that, if every zombie movie ever is anything to go by, loud sudden noises attract zombies by the boatload. I started to run. After running for a few blocks, I realized it was pointless. If I escape, I turn into a zombie. If I fight, I at least take a few of them out with me. It was then that I changed into a man, and turned around to see how many were chasing me. To put it shortly, (1+(2*3/46))*0. Sighing with relief, I noticed a red door. So, for whatever reason, I went in it.

I saw a lot of people who I presumed to be refugees. Men with suits, begging for scraps. Children, playing with AK’s. This plague had changed many, many lives. A man with a glorious moustache approached me. “You eat any of da burgas, mon!?” he spat. “Ummm…. No, but I was bitten. Sooo… you probably should shoot me.” I replied. He looked at me strangely and said “No, mon. Its da krusty burgas. Bein’ bitten dunnit mattah.” while glaring at a nearby ad for the aforementioned burgers. “Oh, OK. That’s great. No, I’ve been asleep for 82 days so I couldn't have eaten anything.” I informed him. “Den good travals to ya, mon.” Mustachio said, and he left me be. I then blacked out

Waking up, I realized I was in some sort of military base. A buxom lady was working at a control panel a few feet away from me. She had her hair dyed blonde, and eyes I swore glowed red. She looked up, surprised, and asked “Who are you!? You shouldn’t be here! I don’t even know how you got here!” “You’re asking me, lady?” I replied. “What does that control panel do?” I asked. “Well, you see, it is a cure to the plague. If I press this massive red button, it will release an airborne cure to the plague. I am currently trying to destroy this control panel to stop the cure.” “WHAT!?” I quizzically asked. “Well, you see, this zombie infestation brings change to society. Change can be a good thing. We have a corrupt society, and need to bring upon ourselves a GREAT REVOLUTION. This is just…” She blabbered before I ignored her. Seeking release from this evil on earth, I dialed a random number on my phone. Papa G then burst out of a computer screen, and shot the lady with a shotgun. “Looks like you won’t be hanging anyone from ceiling fans any time soon.” He said. Papa then turned to me and said, “It is your choice, Danny Treehouse: stop the plague and revert society back to normal, or let it run its course and change the world, for better or for worse.” I thought for a moment, then said, “Save the world, female dog!”

So that is how my story ends. I, with the awesome Papa G, stopped this zombie virus stolen from the Simpsons. As you can see, it changed not only me into a cold-hearted killer, but society into a total mess. If you didn't get that impression, than you have no imagination.

Publication Date: 11-04-2012

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