THE ANGELS OF MONS AND LE CATEAU by Paul Curtis (funny books to read txt) 📖

It was August 1914 when Commander-in-Chief, Sir John French ordered the newly arrived British Expeditionary Force under his command to launch an offensive against the German imperial army at Mons and so began the BEF’s first major action of World War I and its resulting carnage.
We were heavily outnumbered and despite the fact we killed or wounded three of theirs to every one of ours that fell we were forced to retreat to our second line of defence.
Mercifully the Germans chose not to pursue us immediately but elected instead to lick their wounds.
It was during the respite from the days exertions that the stories started to spread through the ranks of weary and bloodied soldiers about the 'angels of Mons'.
It seemed that every man had either witnessed the event or personally knew a man who had.
It was told that at the height of the battle visions appeared in the sky of St. George surrounded by angels, horsemen and cavalry urging the soldiers on.
Well I didn’t see them and further more I didn’t believe anyone else had I figured it was a combination of fear and fatigue.
But as we sat drinking a mug of badly brewed black tea I turned to my mate George and asked him.
“Did you see it Georgie? It was your namesake after all”
“Did I see what”?
“The angels and St George of course”
“No mate, I was too busy trying not to get shot”
George took a mouthful of tea and pulled a face, swallowed and reluctantly took another mouthful, and then he said.
“Anyway what use were they poncing about in the sky? They should have come down and got stuck in and give us a bit of a hand”
“Too right” I agreed but I wasn’t altogether clear if he had seen them or not.
Then we were called to muster and prepare for the battle to recommence it seemed our all too brief respite to regroup was all but over.
Again we battled against overwhelming odds until well into the next day until finally we had to retreat again fighting a fierce rear guard action for the best part of two days until their main body finally caught up with us at Le Cateau where yet another fearsome battle commenced.
George and I had taken up a position with what remained of our battalion on a wooded ridge firing rapidly at the advancing Germans round after round after round, my arm ached with the constant reloading and my shoulder was bruised and sore from the repeated recoil.
We fired so many shots I thought my barrel would melt.
Then the Germans turned tail and ran, how we cheered at the sight of the Germans running away from us for a change.
However our celebrations were to be proved premature as everything around us, the entire wood, the hill, the world for all I knew erupted in a series of massive explosions, so many it was impossible to tell when one ended and the next began.
Amidst the din of hells fire that had fallen upon us, were cries and screams and prayers.
Then after what seemed to be hours but was probably only minutes the barrage was over.
I lifted my head and could see nothing all around was dust and smoke, I could smell the acrid stench of cordite and my mouth was full of dirt.
I spat out the dirt and dust from my mouth and tried to speak but couldn’t I grappled for my canteen and took a mouthful rinsed my mouth and spat it out.
“Bloody hell George I didn’t like that, not one bit”
But George didn’t answer and when I looked at him he didn’t move, he was lying face down behind the ridge exactly where he had been before the shelling.
I put my hand on his webbing to turn him over but as I pulled on his strap my shoulder screamed at me too stop. I stopped pulling and glanced at my right shoulder and saw a foot long splinter of tree had pierced through my shoulder from front to back. I gritted my teeth as I gripped the splinter and yanked hard on it.
It came out but the pain was excruciating and I screamed loudly.
I turned my attention back to George and fearing the worst I managed to turn him over using my left arm, and found him to be alive but unconscious and bleeding from the head and he had a leg full of bloody splinters.
I washed the worst of the French countryside off his face using water from the canteen and quickly put a field dressing on his head wound then I removed the splinters from his leg and dressed that as best I could then I did the same to my shoulder.
Then I quickly checked five men in each direction of my firing position and found them all dead.
I took a moment to survey my surroundings and couldn’t believe my eyes, what less than 10 minutes ago had been a beautiful wooded hill was now utter carnage not a tree worthy of the name remained.
I shook my head in despair at the destruction and mayhem but tempered it by counting my blessings.
In the distance I could make out signs of life further along the line and they appeared to be withdrawing which on balance seemed like a perfectly reasonable thing to do and decided George and I would join them.
Across the battlefield a mist was falling and through it would soon come the German army to finish us off.
“Best we’re not here when they do” I muttered to myself
“Come on Georgie boy lets get you to an aid station” I said as I struggled to get him on my shoulder.
“Don’t worry he’ll be ok” A female voice said.
Startled I turned around to see an angel stood before me, a most beautiful thing, complete with flowing robes of pristine white and magnificent wings.
I stumbled and she reached out a hand to steady me.
“Am I dead”? I asked though quickly answered my own question.
“No I can’t be dead coz my shoulder hurts like bloody hell”
“No you’re not dead” She assured me
“Then I’m hallucinating my wound must be infected or poisoned”
She shook her head.
“Ok then I must be mad that’s got to be the answer” and punctuated my statement with a nod.
“You may well be mad, I couldn’t possibly comment that’s not my department, but mad or not I am still here none the less”
Just then there were sounds coming from the mist, it was the sound of fighting men on the move and further along the line sporadic gun fire could be heard.
“We had better walk and talk, don’t you think” She said and gestured with an open hand in the opposite direction.
I nodded my agreement and moved off with George on my back, who was surprisingly light for a big man.
“So if for the sake of argument I suspend my scepticism and agree that I am neither dead, hallucinating nor mad that would mean that I actually believe you are here”
“Yes” She replied
“So why are you”?
“Why am I what”?
I paused before replying as the sounds of war behind us were getting ever louder so I picked up the pace.
“Why are you here”?
“We are here to help those we can”
“We”? I asked with surprise
“Oh yes I am not alone”
I pondered her reply for a moment before replying
“You say you help those you can, but not all”?
“We can’t help everyone” She said sadly
“I’m afraid you have us outnumbered”
“Unfortunately we can only help the most deserving and even then …”
She left the sentence unfinished as the action behind us was becoming more intense and I glanced back to see a small group of Tommies being swept aside by the advancing tide of the German army.
I again quickened the pace and asked
“So why me?”
“Why am I more deserving than those poor men”?
“Because you put the life and safety of your friend before that of your own”
She answered as if surprised by the question.
I looked at her doubtfully and she continued.
“You dressed his wounds before any thought of attending to yours”
I didn’t think I had done anything remarkable it was, what it was.
Just then bullets began zipping past us so I redouble my efforts and tried to squeeze a little more speed from my tired legs.
She suddenly appeared in front of me and said softly
“Stand still”
“Not likely” I replied sharply and walked past her
“I don’t want to make us an easier target for them”
She was in from of me again.
“Trust me, just stand still”
I did as she asked though still unsure of the wisdom of such an act.
The Germans were only 100 yards behind us and closing fast.
I stood stock still and she moved closer until she was only inches away from us and unfurled her wings with a great flutter and wrapped them around us like a cloak.
I could hear the Germans getting closer and closer, I could hear them talking and some were even laughing.
“They’ll be on us any minute” I said with fear in my voice
“Relax” she replied calmly “they can’t see us”
I wasn’t so sure but I did as she said as best I could.
They were all around us now so close I could smell the sweat on them.
They were still shooting at my retreating comrades as they went by and after a short time they moved into the distance in their relentless pursuit and we were still safe though it soon occurred to me that we were now behind enemy lines.
“Have no fear” she said sensing my concern.
“Close your eyes”
I did so without question and after a moment I felt the reassuring embrace of her winged cloak slip away in a brief flutter.
When I opened my eyes she stood serenely before me.
But we were no longer stood on that dangerous scarred landscape of Le Cateau we now stood in a much greener place.
Ahead of us the British reserves were mustered preparing to advance to try and halt the German advance.
To my left and right stood a sporadic line of bemused and battered soldiers walking slowly towards our lines with their angelic escorts looking on.
My angel smiled as I tried to speak but I could only return her smile
As I made my own way towards the line, George still on my back, she called after me
“You can tell George later from me that we Angels don’t get stuck in, but we do what we can”
“Will do” I called back
As I got closer to our lines groups of Tommie’s raced towards us to help the weary men.
As a couple of men started to relieve me of my burden I suddenly felt Georges full weight on my back and realised she had lightened my load.
While two privates carried George off to the aid station I turned and waved to our saviour and she fluttered her wings in response and melted away into the landscape.

When George and I were at the hospital back in blightey the papers were full of the story of the 'angels of Mons' and everyone you spoke to had an opinion on the subject, the general consensus appears to be that it was a miracle though George says he thinks it’s a load of tosh.
For myself