Coming Out Of The Pain by Anna Harris (acx book reading txt) 📖

To Joe for the inspiration...


When I remember how my life used to be I shivered, it was an empty life, the feeling of not belonging any where and Joe ended that
the moment we met, nothing in the world mattered to me until I heard that first song, and the chords of a guitar touched my heart and
soul, that was the moment I knew that life had more to offer to me, that was the beginning of discovering a new passion and I owed it all
to Joe, his smile got so deep in my heart but the music changed my life. I remembered when my mother died and everything was so nasty
with my family, how they used me and abused me, it was so sad it still makes me feel hurt, that is something that dosen't go away. Life became a circus when every one around me saw that they could have a piece of the pie and eat it too, my mother's effort, all her work
wasn't going to be thrown in the garbage, it was cruel but I had to comfront then, yes they walked away from my life and I did from
theirs, it was time to be really alone and face life on my own. It was the toughtest thing I had do, is never easy to walk
on you own only having God on your side but I had to do just that, I had started to see my father, went on vacations with him but all of
that changed the day I felt in love with the wrong guy, the child he had raised since age three. We stilled saw each other but I was very
aware that something happened that I didn't understand, that day I knew how alone it felt. My thoughts were taking me back to the
moments I had spent with a new family that it seem somehow gone when Joe walked into the kitchen.
"You seemed to be in deep thought, what is going on in that head of yours?, he smile and it brighten my life.
"Oh nothing, just thinking about the past"
"That is something, the past, you can't let go, yeah baby, I understand", he got a cup of coffee, it was freshly brew, I had a cup too.
"Is difficult sometimes Joe, I try, God only knows I do but it comes back to hunt me once in a while", he touched my face softly with his
big hand.
"Hey I understand baby, I do, is hard, if someone knows what you go through is me, remember?", I saw pain in his eyes.
"I know, you have your pain too, I am sorry for reminding you of your bad days", he smile and kissed my face.
"You don't need to remind me, they are on my mind all the time, believe me", I knew it was true, Joe wrestled with those times when he
just didn't fight for his dreams, when he hided and made his life difficult.
"Aren't you rehearsing today?", he had been doing it a lot lately, they had like ten shows booked.
"Yeah a bit later, so what are you up to?, he touched my fingers.
"I am doing progress with this book about us, Joe, do you mind if I write about you?, he was silent for a minute.
"No, no if is you, somebody else it would bother me but you is different, you know me like nobody does", it was true I had gotten to know
him deeply but sometimes I wondered what was on his mind when he was serious and in a pensive mood.
"Joe, do you get along with your dad?", he didn't like to talk about him at all.
"Not very much, he don't like me being a rock singer, he wants me to be someone I am not", he seemed disturbed by me mentioning his
father so I decided to drop the subject.
"Can I see you rehearse today?", I didn't like to bother him when he did that, it was kind of his own territory.
"You want to see me harrass the boys, is that it?", I laughed and he did too, I loved the sound of his laughter.
"Yeah, why not?.
"Sure, I think we are doing much better so it would be good if I am distracted this once", I knew he liked to be in control of his music,
of rehersal and being able to be there made a difference for me, the guys started to come in, they all greeted me, they made some jokes
and we laughed, Joe went to the basement, I followed him.
"Boys, listen up, we have an audience today, lets impress her"
"She is going to see first hand how good we truly are, Anna you are going to be amaze", Rick said.
"No so fast kid, we still have miles to go", Joe was tough on himself on his group way too much but that is who he is, a perfectionist when
it came to doing good music.
"I think you sound good, I have heard you practice almost all the time", Joe got his guitar and they started the session.
"Slow, yeah, sweet man, sweet, yeah, now give it more power TJ, there", then he started to sing his voice blew me away, it was so
deep and rich, when they finished that song I applauded.
"It was great!", he smile.
"We still have to work on it", the guys looked at me in disbelief.
"Joe, come on it sounds great, she just said it", TJ expressed himself for the first time.
"It sounds good, it leaves room for improvement", they rehearsed a few more songs, Joe always trying to push the guys to be even more
good, then the session was over.
"It was good guys"
"At what time are we leaving tomorrow Joe?, Rick asked.
"Around ten, we got to be in Sarasota for the concert at eight at night but we will need time to relax and just get ready"
"Anna, are you coming?", TJ asked.
"Of course she is coming man, she is on vacation", I knew he was in control, I like him being in control of his music but my life was something
different but more and more he was making desicions, the one I didn't particular fight because missing the show was something I wouldn't
do if I was free, they all high five me and left.
"See you tomorrow", TJ said.
"Sure, take care guys", Joe looked seriously at me.
"What was that all about?"
"What Joe?"
"That thing with TJ?, do you like him?, he was jealouse I could tell.
"Baby, you are jealous"
"So what if I am, he can't take that smile off his face when he sees you"
"Joe he is just being friendly, thats all", I tried to calm him down.
"Yeah friendly, I am not blind you know", he took my arm strongly.
"Yes you are blind Joe, can you see what I feel for you?, I guess not", I walked away from him and towards the front door.
"Hey baby, wait"
"For what Joe?, so you can insult me", I felt the pain of his jealousy for the first time.
"I am sorry is just that he seems so friendly with you"
"So what?, he is not blind, he knows how I feel about you"
"And how do you feel about me?", I pressed my lips to his and gave him a long kiss.
"Any doubt how I feel about you Joe West?", he smile and embraced me.
"I am a jerk sometimes, I don't want to loose you, thats all, forgive me baby"
"You know my feelings for you and how you changed my life", I gave him a quick kiss.
"You are forgiven"

It was not easy sometimes when he was jealous but I knew how he felt, all of his life he had to fight to get things done, to be on the right
track, to be himself and all he did was hide, I understood because my life was just the same. I was no good for others, it got me a long time
to realize that if people didn't care for me then it was time to walk away and live the life I wanted to live. Going to Sarasota was a good
thing for Joe, he had ten concerts booked, this was the second, the first one was great and he knew it, he even took me up the stage to
do vocals for him, I couldn't believe it, somehow I got surprised. He encircled me with his strong arms.
"You are staying over, right?"
"Yes, I am, is no point to go to my house and come back here again tomorrow"
"Lets go back into the house", I could tell he was worried, I knew how he got when he thought about a concert, the fear of failure.

That night I was lying in bed writing in my poetry notebook when he got out of the shower, his hair wet and a towel around his waist. He
looked perfect, so handsome and masculine.
"What are you writing about?", he asked.
"You", I said.
"Oh, so what about?", he peaked.
"Your time in New York City"
"That is interesting, can I see it?"
"Is not that good, is just some randoms thoughts", I didn't want him to think I was not good enough but then again I didn't want to be
good enough, I write just because its my passion.
"I thought you just write because you love to do so?"
"That is right", he began to read what I had finished writing.

The city, the sounds, his music
in the background
the clubs, the people, his
guitar, all part of his life.
New York City a dream come
true. The crowd going wild,
the songs in the air and I
enjoying it all, the electricity
the lyrics, the melody, his
voice, the feeling of love.
It was all worth it after all.
New York City a passionate
affair, the sleepless night
it was all so right
it felt good from the start.


Joe looked at me, I could see once again he was taken by my words, I had imagined how it could be to make it in New York City, he was
pensive for a moment, there was magic in the air.

"I like it, that is how I see it all in New York City", he put his boxers on and grab his guitar.
"You do imagine it that way?"
"I do baby, is not that I want to be famous, that is not what I want, to me music is all it matters, I rather play the clubs but make the
music I want not what some company would tell me to play", he was serious.
"Joe, sing me that song you wrote about the shores of your hometown", he started to play softly.
"I wrote this when I was pretty young, you know", I smile, his voice filled the room.

"Little girl take my hand and
come with me to the shores
of my home town.
Lets watch the sunset lying
in the sand, the purples,
the pinks, just you and me.
I can hear the wind blowing
is cold but I keep you warm,
I am holding you in the shores
of my home town.
We throw pebbles in the water
and the splash makes me wonder
where I'll be tomorrow night
but all I know I am here with
you holding my hand in the
shores of