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“Fuck Karli Andi, I am still yours… you have something that Karli will never have… you have my love, you have my heart… and you are my world… my everything.”
“Not your girlfriend.” I watched as the tears just started pouring down her face. She was desperate to make them stop… but every time she tried, she got a million more.
I kneeled in front of her and grabbed her hands. “Andi, it doesn’t matter if we have a label, we know what we are. Two people, in love who aren’t together.” I leaned my lips closer and kissed her on the cheek. They were streaked because of her tears. I took my hand and gently made her tears vanish with the back of my hand. “You are my baby girl. And I am your nerd… Forever and always.” I started to kiss her again counting down the seconds for her to pull away. She never did.
A little while later she was leaning her head on my shoulder. He breathing started to even out, so I figured she fell asleep. I leaned down and kissed her on her forehead. “I love you baby girl.”
I felt her smile. And she whispered. “I love you too mynerd.”
I picked her up and carried her in my arms into her room. I gently placed her on her bed and covered her up. I seen that my penguin was sitting there on her pillow and I handed it to her. Instead of grabbing the penguin out of my hands so grabbed my arm and pulled me into her bed. I got under her blanket and wrapped my arms around her waist… I closed my eyes and drifted off to sleep holding her, like I used to.
An alarm goes off in the distance. I hear footsteps and then it shuts off. My arms are empty. This is weird because I remember having Andi in them last night. There’s some paper sitting on the floor and I pick it up and begin to read it.
It hurts when I listen to our song, not only because you aren’t mine anymore, but because you’re also hers. You tell me you love me more than her and that’s a promise. Well I love you too… but now you belong to her. Every song I listen to reminds me of you. Whether it’s a love song, or a song about some one with a broken heart. It breaks my heart to know I cry for you and I am never going to move on and forget about you, it’s impossible to do so…. But I think that you could. Whys it matter to you if I die or live? Cause right now I welcome every part of death… the beginning, the middle and the tragic end. Then the pain washes away… I know i can’t see you while you are with her…. because I know I’ll kiss you, I don’t want to be responsible for ruining your relationship with her. Because I know it hurts… it hurt me, it would hurt her. So I’ll hang my head high… just for you… throw on that faulty smile that everyone is used to… and laugh instead of cry… because I love you.
Wow…. That broke me. I looked up when I heard footsteps and Andi was standing in front of me. I hadn’t realized she was already ready for school. “Hey Andi.”
“sup.” Was all she said? Something was wrong. Well maybe not… I mean, she was smiling.
I laughed. “Are you ready for retarded school?”
She rolled her eyes and nodded her head. “yup.” She said popping the p and over extending it. “Let’s get this over with.”
I stood up and looked down at her before I started laughing. “Fuck Andi, I just noticed you’re a damn shrimp.”
She brought her hand up laughing and slapped me in the head. “Shut the hell up Lukas. Or you’ll shrink in size.” She pulled me closer to her and in a creepy voice she whispered. “In two ways.”
I didn’t have to be a genius to know exactly what she meant. “Shit I’m sorry Andi.”
She started laughing and walked away.
As last time, and every time we walked into school together, we weren’t holing hands… Karli probably wouldn’t have liked that as much as I would of. The bell rang and then I felt warm arms wrapped around me. Then she left. I watched her as she walked away, until she wasn’t visible. I let out a heavy sign of sadness and turned in the opposite direction. Nothing worse than turning your back on the girl that you are so in love with.
After school I expected Andi to walk up to me and hug me from behind. So when some one did that I smiled. That was until I smelled the perfume and I realized it wasn’t Andi… But karli. She leaned over and placed her lips on mine. Please don’t walk this way Andi… I found myself repeating that in my head.
What’s she do? Walks this way. She doesn’t stop and look my way; she doesn’t stop and try to talk… instead she walks at the same pace acting if she didn’t even care. Maybe she didn’t. Maybe after everything I have been putting her through, maybe she was forgetting all about the scum bag heart breaker that she used to date.
Andi<3
Every day I continue to smile, every day my smile continues to grow. The more pain I have the more smile I’m going to need to make every one think I’m ok. But I’m not. Every time I see Luke and Karli it kills me. It’s always going to… just kill me. I walked past Luke and Karli again… yes… it felt like a bullet to the head. I know he was staring after me, watching everything I do… but that’s ok, he can do what he wants and I can do what I want…
When I got home I walked in my room and fell on my bed. I was exhausted and the only time I could sleep was when Lukas was laying behind me with his arms wrapped around me. wow that’s just pathetic. I took a deep breath… “I need to move on… he’s with Karli… let go… get over him…. Get out of my head Luke! Who am I talking to?” oh shit I was starting to talk to myself.
“Andi!” I heard some one call my name, as the front door slammed open. I wasn’t sure who it was, but I didn’t care enough to stand up and look.
“In my room.” I simply responded.
A couple seconds later there were footsteps walking to my room, or what it sounded like. I was staring up at the ceiling so I was oblivious to the person standing in my doorway staring down at me. “Andi, are you awake?”
It took me only a matter of seconds before I realized who was speaking to me. “Codi!” I jumped up and hugged him quickly, then moved to my bed and sat back down.
“How are ya Andi?” he inclined his head towards me.
“Ive been better, what are you doing here Cod? Not that I don’t love that you’re here, I do… I’m just shocked to see you.”
He laughed. “well me and my friend were on our way to work, and I decided to stop by and visit my sister.”
I took a deep breath. “Glad to see you Cod.”
He smiled. “Glad to see you too. Oh uh sorry.” He moved aside. “This is my friend Aiden, Aiden this is my sister Andi.”
I waved at him shyly without looking. “hi Aiden.” I continued to stare down at my floor.
“Sup Andi.?” I only looked up when he began to speak. My breath was caught in my throat when I seen him. Medium length black hair, black and white converse’s, gray skinny jeans, and a black veil brides shirt. He had snake bites and I was instantly attracted to him.
“just chilling.” I said nervously. It’s sad, he gave me the same butterflies that Lukas once did… that was already a bad sign, he was cute… so that must make him a prick.
“Andi, I really wish I could stay longer, but as I said I was on my way to work, so I can’t be late. Aiden are you coming?
He looked between me and Codi before shaking his head. “Nawh man, I think ima stay here and chat with your sis.”
“alright Aiden, I’ll see ya.” They fist pounded and Codi walked off.
Aiden walked over and sat in front of my bed on the floor. “So you are the Andi, that Codi is always talking about?”
I was looking all around my room, trying to avoid looking him in his gray eyes. “yes, I guess I am.”
“well it’s nice to finally meet you Andi.” He smiled it was a real genuine smile, and I was honestly hooked on him already, and I barely knew a single thing about him… bad Andi bad!
“it’s nice to meet you to.” I wasn’t just saying that out of courtesy, I was really happy to meet Aiden.
He looked around the room. “it seems that we share friends.”
I looked at him in question. “what are you talking about?”
He laughed. “that penguin sitting on your bed, that’s from Luke Wilson, is it not?”
I gulped. “yes it is…. How did you know?”
“I was at his house the other day, he told me to wait in his room while he made a phone call. I was standing there waiting for him to come back, When he did he was holding a teddy bear. This was a big bad football player I used to know so I laughed at him and asked him what the fuck that was for. He got pissed and told me that a girl gave it to him and it meant the world to him. I asked him if he was with that girl. He said no. and I asked who it was and he said I didn’t need to know, but I could probably guess if I looked through his phone, so I did and I seen your picture.”
I took a deep breath. “wow.”
“what happened with you guys?”
“he cheated on me.”
Aiden’s expression turned sour. “he always was a dumbass who took the best things for granted.” He moved beside me and sat on my bed. “Do you mind if I sit here beside you?”
I shook my head no.
“ok, Andi… I don’t know you much, but I would like to get to know you and I can promise you that I will never make you feel the pain that he has put you through, you are a beautiful girl and Luke has told me a lot about you. I like what I was being told.”
I smiled. “ok.” I bit my lip and looked away. He had me blushing. What the fuck?
He leaned closer to me and placed a kiss on my cheek. “trust me Andi, Lukas doesn’t deserve another chance, he’s just going to do it again.”
I avoided contact with Aiden’s eyes. “I guess you might be right.”
He stood up. “Well Andi, I loved being here with you but I really have to go; I’ll be here tomorrow morning, I would love to walk you to school, I mean if that’s ok with you?”
I smiled half heartly and nodded my head. “I’ll see you tomorrow
“Fuck Karli Andi, I am still yours… you have something that Karli will never have… you have my love, you have my heart… and you are my world… my everything.”
“Not your girlfriend.” I watched as the tears just started pouring down her face. She was desperate to make them stop… but every time she tried, she got a million more.
I kneeled in front of her and grabbed her hands. “Andi, it doesn’t matter if we have a label, we know what we are. Two people, in love who aren’t together.” I leaned my lips closer and kissed her on the cheek. They were streaked because of her tears. I took my hand and gently made her tears vanish with the back of my hand. “You are my baby girl. And I am your nerd… Forever and always.” I started to kiss her again counting down the seconds for her to pull away. She never did.
A little while later she was leaning her head on my shoulder. He breathing started to even out, so I figured she fell asleep. I leaned down and kissed her on her forehead. “I love you baby girl.”
I felt her smile. And she whispered. “I love you too mynerd.”
I picked her up and carried her in my arms into her room. I gently placed her on her bed and covered her up. I seen that my penguin was sitting there on her pillow and I handed it to her. Instead of grabbing the penguin out of my hands so grabbed my arm and pulled me into her bed. I got under her blanket and wrapped my arms around her waist… I closed my eyes and drifted off to sleep holding her, like I used to.
An alarm goes off in the distance. I hear footsteps and then it shuts off. My arms are empty. This is weird because I remember having Andi in them last night. There’s some paper sitting on the floor and I pick it up and begin to read it.
It hurts when I listen to our song, not only because you aren’t mine anymore, but because you’re also hers. You tell me you love me more than her and that’s a promise. Well I love you too… but now you belong to her. Every song I listen to reminds me of you. Whether it’s a love song, or a song about some one with a broken heart. It breaks my heart to know I cry for you and I am never going to move on and forget about you, it’s impossible to do so…. But I think that you could. Whys it matter to you if I die or live? Cause right now I welcome every part of death… the beginning, the middle and the tragic end. Then the pain washes away… I know i can’t see you while you are with her…. because I know I’ll kiss you, I don’t want to be responsible for ruining your relationship with her. Because I know it hurts… it hurt me, it would hurt her. So I’ll hang my head high… just for you… throw on that faulty smile that everyone is used to… and laugh instead of cry… because I love you.
Wow…. That broke me. I looked up when I heard footsteps and Andi was standing in front of me. I hadn’t realized she was already ready for school. “Hey Andi.”
“sup.” Was all she said? Something was wrong. Well maybe not… I mean, she was smiling.
I laughed. “Are you ready for retarded school?”
She rolled her eyes and nodded her head. “yup.” She said popping the p and over extending it. “Let’s get this over with.”
I stood up and looked down at her before I started laughing. “Fuck Andi, I just noticed you’re a damn shrimp.”
She brought her hand up laughing and slapped me in the head. “Shut the hell up Lukas. Or you’ll shrink in size.” She pulled me closer to her and in a creepy voice she whispered. “In two ways.”
I didn’t have to be a genius to know exactly what she meant. “Shit I’m sorry Andi.”
She started laughing and walked away.
As last time, and every time we walked into school together, we weren’t holing hands… Karli probably wouldn’t have liked that as much as I would of. The bell rang and then I felt warm arms wrapped around me. Then she left. I watched her as she walked away, until she wasn’t visible. I let out a heavy sign of sadness and turned in the opposite direction. Nothing worse than turning your back on the girl that you are so in love with.
After school I expected Andi to walk up to me and hug me from behind. So when some one did that I smiled. That was until I smelled the perfume and I realized it wasn’t Andi… But karli. She leaned over and placed her lips on mine. Please don’t walk this way Andi… I found myself repeating that in my head.
What’s she do? Walks this way. She doesn’t stop and look my way; she doesn’t stop and try to talk… instead she walks at the same pace acting if she didn’t even care. Maybe she didn’t. Maybe after everything I have been putting her through, maybe she was forgetting all about the scum bag heart breaker that she used to date.
Andi<3
Every day I continue to smile, every day my smile continues to grow. The more pain I have the more smile I’m going to need to make every one think I’m ok. But I’m not. Every time I see Luke and Karli it kills me. It’s always going to… just kill me. I walked past Luke and Karli again… yes… it felt like a bullet to the head. I know he was staring after me, watching everything I do… but that’s ok, he can do what he wants and I can do what I want…
When I got home I walked in my room and fell on my bed. I was exhausted and the only time I could sleep was when Lukas was laying behind me with his arms wrapped around me. wow that’s just pathetic. I took a deep breath… “I need to move on… he’s with Karli… let go… get over him…. Get out of my head Luke! Who am I talking to?” oh shit I was starting to talk to myself.
“Andi!” I heard some one call my name, as the front door slammed open. I wasn’t sure who it was, but I didn’t care enough to stand up and look.
“In my room.” I simply responded.
A couple seconds later there were footsteps walking to my room, or what it sounded like. I was staring up at the ceiling so I was oblivious to the person standing in my doorway staring down at me. “Andi, are you awake?”
It took me only a matter of seconds before I realized who was speaking to me. “Codi!” I jumped up and hugged him quickly, then moved to my bed and sat back down.
“How are ya Andi?” he inclined his head towards me.
“Ive been better, what are you doing here Cod? Not that I don’t love that you’re here, I do… I’m just shocked to see you.”
He laughed. “well me and my friend were on our way to work, and I decided to stop by and visit my sister.”
I took a deep breath. “Glad to see you Cod.”
He smiled. “Glad to see you too. Oh uh sorry.” He moved aside. “This is my friend Aiden, Aiden this is my sister Andi.”
I waved at him shyly without looking. “hi Aiden.” I continued to stare down at my floor.
“Sup Andi.?” I only looked up when he began to speak. My breath was caught in my throat when I seen him. Medium length black hair, black and white converse’s, gray skinny jeans, and a black veil brides shirt. He had snake bites and I was instantly attracted to him.
“just chilling.” I said nervously. It’s sad, he gave me the same butterflies that Lukas once did… that was already a bad sign, he was cute… so that must make him a prick.
“Andi, I really wish I could stay longer, but as I said I was on my way to work, so I can’t be late. Aiden are you coming?
He looked between me and Codi before shaking his head. “Nawh man, I think ima stay here and chat with your sis.”
“alright Aiden, I’ll see ya.” They fist pounded and Codi walked off.
Aiden walked over and sat in front of my bed on the floor. “So you are the Andi, that Codi is always talking about?”
I was looking all around my room, trying to avoid looking him in his gray eyes. “yes, I guess I am.”
“well it’s nice to finally meet you Andi.” He smiled it was a real genuine smile, and I was honestly hooked on him already, and I barely knew a single thing about him… bad Andi bad!
“it’s nice to meet you to.” I wasn’t just saying that out of courtesy, I was really happy to meet Aiden.
He looked around the room. “it seems that we share friends.”
I looked at him in question. “what are you talking about?”
He laughed. “that penguin sitting on your bed, that’s from Luke Wilson, is it not?”
I gulped. “yes it is…. How did you know?”
“I was at his house the other day, he told me to wait in his room while he made a phone call. I was standing there waiting for him to come back, When he did he was holding a teddy bear. This was a big bad football player I used to know so I laughed at him and asked him what the fuck that was for. He got pissed and told me that a girl gave it to him and it meant the world to him. I asked him if he was with that girl. He said no. and I asked who it was and he said I didn’t need to know, but I could probably guess if I looked through his phone, so I did and I seen your picture.”
I took a deep breath. “wow.”
“what happened with you guys?”
“he cheated on me.”
Aiden’s expression turned sour. “he always was a dumbass who took the best things for granted.” He moved beside me and sat on my bed. “Do you mind if I sit here beside you?”
I shook my head no.
“ok, Andi… I don’t know you much, but I would like to get to know you and I can promise you that I will never make you feel the pain that he has put you through, you are a beautiful girl and Luke has told me a lot about you. I like what I was being told.”
I smiled. “ok.” I bit my lip and looked away. He had me blushing. What the fuck?
He leaned closer to me and placed a kiss on my cheek. “trust me Andi, Lukas doesn’t deserve another chance, he’s just going to do it again.”
I avoided contact with Aiden’s eyes. “I guess you might be right.”
He stood up. “Well Andi, I loved being here with you but I really have to go; I’ll be here tomorrow morning, I would love to walk you to school, I mean if that’s ok with you?”
I smiled half heartly and nodded my head. “I’ll see you tomorrow
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