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Andi<3

ā€œI miss my retarded friendā€¦ We never talk anymore Lizzie.ā€

ā€œI know. I miss you to, but band has me so busy these days. And when I am free you are never home. So then I call Samantha and ask her if she wants to hang out.ā€

ā€œLiz this is pathetic, we were best friends for years and now we never talk. We hardly see each other. And it just sucks. Remember I used to practically live at your houseā€¦ that was when you werenā€™t living at mine.ā€ I stuck my tongue out at Lizzie, so she couldnā€™t see how much I was really hurting.

ā€œAndi I agree with you we did spend a lot of time together, and I honestly do miss thatā€¦ it is so pathetic that we never see each other anymore.ā€

I really hope that this doesnā€™t turn into a fight... I whisper under my breath.

ā€œThen maybe Liz if you werenā€™t so god damn busy all the timeā€¦ itā€™s only when I call your busy. Then when I donā€™t call your free... until you decide to call Samantha or until Steven wants to hang out.ā€

ā€œI canā€™t help it that people love me Andi.ā€

ā€œI know that isnā€™t your fault, but I see you walk past my house just about everyday and you donā€™t even glance this way anymore and it just hurtsā€¦ what happened to being best friends forever and ever and we would never stop being best friends until the world ends?ā€ I take a deep breath pretending that our saying had worn me out, however it actually stopped me from crying.

ā€œSometimes I am in a hurry. Trust me Andi I still love you and you are still my best friend forever and ever and we will never stop being best friends until the world ends.ā€ Liz says reaching out for a hug.

ā€œitā€™s not even that I want to be your only friend though, you can have all the friends that you wantā€¦ and I am not going to try and stop you, I just want to be a close friendā€¦ one that you hang out and talk to on the phone for hoursā€¦ like It used to beā€¦ when we were childrenā€¦ā€ Liz reaches her arms out to me and I didnā€™t want to be rude, so I just hugged her back.

ā€œI want it to be like that to Andi. But now I have other friends that I hang out with.ā€

ā€œAnd your leaving me behind Liz,ā€ All I can do is whisper, or I might have started to cry.

ā€œWhat do you want me to do? Hang out with you all the time? 24/7.ā€

ā€œNo it doesnā€™t have to be that much. I just want to be able to catch up with you ever so often. I feel like I donā€™t even know you anymoreā€¦ I know your name is Elizabeth but almost everyone calls you Liz and Lizzie. Your favorite color last time we talked was lime green... and I know that you are an awesome/retarded person.ā€

ā€œSo it seems we do need to catch upā€¦ tomorrow after school?ā€

ā€œOk. See you then, donā€™t go making other plans... if Samantha calls tell her that your mine for tomorrow.ā€ I had to laugh a little so Liz knew I was only joking.

ā€œOk Andi, all yours.ā€ I can tell sheā€™s mocking me and it doesnā€™t bother me, it just makes me laugh to death.

ā€œThanks Liz, thatā€™s a real boost on the confidence.ā€

ā€œOh shut up Andi.ā€ Liz says and then she shoves me playfully.

I couldnā€™t resist the urge to laugh. ā€œLiz you are officially forgiven. Well Iā€™ll decide that if you keep your word and come over tomorrow.ā€

ā€œI already told you I would Andi. Donā€™t doubt me so much.ā€

ā€œSorry just donā€™t know how good you are at lying.ā€ I may have gone too far.

Liz starts laughing but says in a serious voice. ā€œAndi you know I suck at lying. I always have, and you know I have never lied to youā€¦ and I wonā€™t start now.ā€

ā€œThanks Liz. I appreciate that.ā€

ā€œNo problem.ā€ Liz leans in and gives me a kiss on the cheek. ā€œlike I said best friends forever and ever and we will never stop being best friendsā€¦ god damn why did we have to make that so long?ā€ she says laughing at the whininess in her voice.

ā€œBecause you thought that it made the most sense. Plus when we were younger we werenā€™t as lazy when it came to talking. Yes we are lazy when it comes to talking now. I giggle. ā€œThanks for the kiss Liz.ā€ I canā€™t help but laugh

ā€œWell donā€™t I get one??ā€

I laugh. ā€œOf course you do.ā€ I leaned over and kissed Liz on the cheek. ā€œDo you feel special now?ā€

ā€œAnd Liz being the smart ass had to answer me.ā€

ā€œYes Andi I do feel like the most special girl in the world.ā€
ā€œGet out of here Liz.ā€ I say laughing

ā€œWait first I donā€™t spend enough time with you? Now I spend too muchā€¦ women make up your mind!ā€ Liz says in a playing way.

ā€œLet me explain it so you understand. I donā€™t want to see you right now because you are being a smart ass.ā€ I stop laughing, to catch my breath. When I catch my breath I continue my sentence. ā€œHowever you have to come over tomorrow after school, because you are mine tomorrow. Plus I told you so,ā€ I stick my tongue out at Liz again and then I walk away into my house.

ā€œWell ohhā€¦ wait ya I get it that makes sense.ā€ Li z says playing the dumb rule.

I walk into my house and notice that it is quietā€¦ I am used to this all too familiar sound.

ā€œAnyone here?

And I get no response.

ā€œOf course no one is here. Dad works his life away and mom just wants to be any where away from me.ā€

I take out my phone to check it, There was one missed phone call from Luke and 2 texts.

ā€œWhen did he call?ā€ I asked myself. I check the time. ā€œOh about 10 minutes agoā€¦thatā€™s not bad.ā€ I decide to call Luke later, so I close my phone when the light for one new voicemail started to blink. ā€œThat is probably from Luke.ā€ I open my phone to see that the voice mail was from him.

`Hey Andi I donā€™t know where you are, but obviously your busyā€¦ call me whenever you get this if you want toā€¦ I mean I guess it is your descion. I decide to return Lukeā€™s call.
-Hello. Says a very deep voice
-Hey Luke its Andiā€¦.
-I know, I recognized your number.
-Good point, any way you wanted me to call you?
-Well I was remembering when we were texting the other day,
-What about it?
-I wanted to talk to you about what you said.
-um what did I say? I said a lot the other day.
-ok well when you said something aboutā€¦. Well you know us.
-ohhā€¦ Luke right nowā€¦ there is not an us.
-I am aware of thatā€¦ sadly
-ok.
-but still you had said that in 10 days if we wanted to we could date againā€¦
-I remember that, I also remember you telling me that 10 days was too soon, so where exactly are you going with this?
-ya I know, but 10 days actually sounds pretty good.
-a few thingsā€¦ It was 2 days ago so it would actually be 8 days left to wait and the 2nd thing isā€¦. Please make up your mind Lukeā€¦ you have me so confusedā€¦ you tell me you love me and you need me and you feel like a fool for hurting me and your going to kill yourself, and then you tell me that you are dating Beccaā€¦ are you trying to break my heart?? I ask trying not to break down and cry.
-Andi this is all really confusing for me too, I know that I want you and the only reason I got with Becca is because I thought that my chance with you was gone forever.
-No Luke. Nice tryā€¦ but we talked about it the day before you were with Becca, I told you that I was absolutely going to give you another chance and you made me promiseā€¦And I did... And then next thing I knowā€¦ I have 5 different people running up to me in school sayingā€¦ ā€˜You know Luke is with Becca now.ā€™
-Iā€™m sorry Andi, but I donā€™t know what to do with myselfā€¦.
-me either Lukeā€¦ but you need to decide whether you want me, Becca or somebody elseā€¦ and Iā€™ll decide whether you get that other chanceā€¦

I knew I couldnā€™t trust her. Andi thinks to herself. Once she makes a promise she goes and breaks it, and now I am standing here like an idiot waiting for her to show up with some magic reasoning as to where she wasā€¦ school is way over so there is no way in hell that she would still be thereā€¦ I mean hell it is 6:30. Whatever. Andi takes a deep breath

Just then Andiā€™s phone goes off, her ring tone starts playing

**You said you loved me
More than anyone else could ever know
But now you're leaving
Can't we just try to work this out
And I've never been one to beg
The nights get lonely
And all I have left is memory of you
I tried to save this
But now there's nothing left for me to do
And I've never been one to beg**
Andi reaches for her phone and picks it up.

-oh my god Andi I am so sorry that I didnā€™t come over today!
-it whatever Liz,
-youā€™re not mad?
-what good would that do me?
-ok so clearly you really are mad.
-oh look you can still read me like an open book, and through a phone too, that takes talent.
-Andi please let me explain.
-ok. You have like 5 minutes.
-only 5?
-ya thatā€™s all people get when they break a promise.
-I said I was sorry, but look the teacher held me after school because apparently I am failing a class.
-ok.
-are you still mad?
-no Liz, do whatever you want.
With that Andi hangs up the phone and turns to her desk. Andi grabs pen and paper and begins writing some words down

*When I say I have a sad broken heart I donā€™t expect yu to tell me yur sorry, when yu did nothing wrongā€¦ I canā€™t blame him for my bleeding heart as much as I can blame myselfā€¦I should have read heartbreaker in his eyesā€¦I walked right into his fucking trap.* Andi stops for a second; thinking of what to write next.. and she continues with *And now I am walking the earth while my heart is in two and fucking bleedingā€¦I would rather burn in hell than have a bleeding heartā€¦Because the pain is so fucking severe it makes me want to dieā€¦Rip out my bleeding heartā€¦I could stitch it up, But that wouldnā€™t hold for longā€¦As soon as I seen him my damn heart would break throughā€¦Shatter in twoā€¦I guess I was meant to live with a bleeding heart...walking the earth and just shouting yur fucking name, looking for yuā€¦Because even though

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