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Promise.ā€

He held out his pinky and I moved mine towards him and pinky promised. He pulled me up and wrapped his arms around me. ā€œI am so sorry for calling you a slut Andiā€¦ I just snapped.ā€

ā€œYou donā€™t know how much that hurt.ā€

He pulled back and looked at my face. ā€œAndi..How long have you been crying?ā€

I shook my head. ā€œI donā€™t know, all dayā€¦ every dayā€¦ My whole life?ā€ my took his fingers and wiped away my tears. But more appeared.

ā€œSoā€¦ You seen Stephanie, Didnā€™t you?ā€

I nodded my head remembering what had sent me in my breakdown. ā€œYesā€¦ New girlfriend?ā€

He shook his head in shameā€¦ā€not exactlyā€¦. She was my newā€¦ā€ he took a deep breath. ā€œMy new slut. If I donā€™t have you, then all I want is a slut and she was there.ā€

I closed my eyes for a long time and the tears came pouring down again. ā€œLuke what happened to you?? You never would have referred to someone like thatā€¦ youā€™ve changed.ā€ I started backing away.

ā€œDO you want the truth Andi?ā€

I nodded my headā€¦ ā€œOk...ā€

ā€œThis is the old me. This is the kind of boy I was before you. Iā€™d date whatever girl walked up to me and asked me out, then I would cheat on her with another girl and weā€™d breakup. Iā€™d get with the other girlā€¦then do it all over againā€¦ā€

I bit my lip trying to hold back the tears. ā€œWow you have a nice boy actā€¦. And I guess thatā€™s what I fell for.ā€ I turned away from him and started bawling againā€¦. Is that all I was to him, another girl to cheat on? Dump and then move onā€¦ just another girl to be added to the list?

ā€œWait Andi.. When I was with you, everything I said was 100% true, every I love you I meant, and the I am sorryā€¦ I really am sorryā€¦ Sorry you fell for me because you deserve so much better and now you really know that. Because Iā€™m just a dumb ass. And when I lost you, I just went back to being the old me because it was so much easier to not care about any other person and just use them as I want.ā€

ā€œThatā€™s sick Lukeā€¦.I miss the old youā€¦ Thatā€™s the one I fell in love with and thatā€™s the one that I want to know.ā€

He walked up behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist. ā€œFor you Andi, Iā€™ll always be the guy you want; the loving, sweet, caring, sensitive, amazing, nice, truthfulā€¦ the one you fell in love with.ā€

I was so pissed at him, and then he wrapped his arms around my waist and the butterflies came back. ā€œButterflies..ā€ I muttered quiet enough that he couldnā€™t hear.

He put his head on my shoulder. ā€œWhat was that baby girl?ā€ he looked at me, as I stared straight ahead.

ā€œButterflies.ā€ I turned my head towards him as he kissed my lips.

ā€œOH, you feel them to?ā€

We laid in the grass togetherā€¦ If only we could of laid like that forever.

Luke.

Well. I feel like an utter ass. Nothing will change that. Iā€™ve been calling Andi a slut and I shoulda just talked to her. I was laying in the grass with Stephanie, and well I guess Andi saw us. I seen Andi sitting in front of my houseā€¦Rather she was really like crying in a ball, so I went to find out why the fuck she was here. But what did that change? Nothingā€¦. I said I would be the boy for andiā€¦ the New me, the one that she changedā€¦ I didnā€™t say it about anyone elseā€¦ Meaning, Stephanie, was still my little slut.

I arrived at Andiā€™s house in the morning for school like I always have, and I guess thatā€™s not going to change? I knocked on the door. ā€œHey Andiā€¦ Ready to go?ā€

She nodded her head. ā€œMhm.ā€

I grabbed her hand and she looked down in shock.

I gave her a small smile and pulled her behind me.ā€Howā€™d you sleep baby girl?ā€

She shrugged her shoulders.ā€Ok, I guessā€¦ā€she was basically silent the entire way there. I wanted to ask her what was wrong but I didnā€™t even know if she would tell me, seeming as though it probably has something to do with me being a complete and utter ass hole, and he mistakenly falling in love.

I stopped walking, turned towards her and took a deep breath. She stared at me, like Yo what are you doing? I bit on my tongue and looked all around us to distract myself. When I just couldnā€™t take it anymore I backed away from her and stared at the ground. ā€œLook Andi.. I know, I make mistakes and I know you are probably getting tired of hearing me apologize all the time about it, and then not doing anything to back up my apology accept for going off and kissing some girlā€¦ Buuuuutā€¦ā€¦ I think it would be best if we would just move onā€¦ā€

I watched as a tear rolled down her face and her expression turned from a smile to expressionless. ā€œYou donā€™t think I have been trying to do that the hole time Luke? Because trust me, since the day we broke up I have been trying to get over you, but every time I even remotely start to get somewhere you go and apologize for being such an ass hole, then you kiss me and then you go make out with some girl. You know whatā€¦ whateverā€¦ I just donā€™t care anymore.ā€

She tried to start walking ahead of me but I stood in front of her blocking her pathway. She was not leaving until we had talked about this.

ā€œReally Andi?ā€ Youā€™ve been trying that long?

She rolled her eyes. ā€œYa.ā€

ā€œIā€™m sorry. And I know youā€™re probably tired of hearing that.ā€

She rolled her eyes. ā€œYou know what Lukeā€¦ What do you want? Do you want to move on? Never talk to each other again, pleaseā€¦ tell me now.ā€

I shook my head. ā€œNo, I donā€™t want that Andi...ā€

She got real close me and whispered ā€œYou, donā€™t know what you want.ā€

I shook my head. ā€œAndi, I know exactly what I want and that, is you.ā€

She backed away and started crying and screaming. ā€œThe only thing keeping me from you is you!ā€

I shook my head again. ā€œHow do you suppose?ā€

ā€œWhat do you mean ā€˜How do I suppose?ā€

ā€œNever mind.ā€

ā€œWhatever Luke. But hereā€™s something you should knowā€¦ Iā€™m fucking done.ā€

ā€œAndiā€¦Pleaseā€¦donā€™tā€ I donā€™t know what I was thinking but I wrapped my arms around her waist from behind like she loves. ā€œPlease donā€™t ever let goā€¦ I need you more than anyoneā€¦ā€

She kissed my cheek and walked away without saying a word more.

I felt the tear escape from my eyes as I criedā€¦ I criedā€¦and criedā€¦ I was so weak for Andi.. I wanted to be her hero..but all I was was the fuck up who was making her life more worse than she ever thought possibleā€¦ I was sick.. not mentallyā€¦ but I have a deadly diseaseā€¦ I needed to push her farther away from me, they donā€™t think Iā€™m going to make itā€¦ and I donā€™t want her to be holding on to tightlyā€¦ I couldnā€™t help it. I cried more than I thought I ever could.

Andi.

I walked on back towards the tracks. I just needed to escape him right now because he didnā€™t understand anything that was going on. He didnā€™t get it. He needs to grow up, and I know and he knows itā€¦he just wasnā€™t ready. Ready for anything. Wasnā€™t ready to stop cheating or lyingā€¦I started cryingā€¦ heā€™s the most immature 17 year old I knowā€¦ cheating, lying, stealingā€¦ sleeping around..same as cheatingā€¦ he was just as confused as I wasā€¦ but the only differenceā€¦ I truly did love himā€¦ But he wasnā€™t ready to be a fatherā€¦ I grasped my stomach and fell to my kneeā€™s bawling.

After awhile I was so weak that I was having trouble breathingā€¦ I cried so much that I felt like I could die at any moment in timeā€¦ I would be ok with thatā€¦ I wasnā€™t ready to be a motherā€¦ Iā€™m 16ā€¦Iā€™m so fucking stupid! How could I screw himā€¦? I wasnā€™t thinking of how easy it would be to be a motherā€¦I canā€™t do itā€¦ I just canā€™t. am I supposed to tell him? No doubt he would freakā€¦ Hell I am freaking!

I ran home with tears pouring down my face. I fell to my living room floor and just laid there until I was interrupted by a knock on the door. I stood up and wiped away the tears before getting up to get the door.

ā€œHey andi. I just wanted to check up on you and see how you are, after your last suicide attempt.ā€

ā€œOh Hey Lukas, Wait how do you know where I live?ā€

ā€œLook, in the future I have to tell you something and then everything will all make senseā€¦ in a way, but uhhā€¦ Look everything will be ok.ā€ He whispered hugging me.i hugged him back and nodded my head. I felt weak. Before I could stop the tear it rolled down my face and landed on his shirt.

I pulled away and murmured apologetically over and over.

He pulled me over to the couch and rested my head on his lap. ā€œItā€™s ok Andi...ā€ He sounded so sure that it was impossible not to believe him.

I nodded my head and snuggled against his chest closing my eyes and drifting off to sleep.

I woke up screaming and the next thing I know theyā€™re were arms wrapped around me. ā€œShhhhhā€ they whispered. I was calmed by Lukasā€™s voices every time. He knew how to comfort someone and make them feel betterā€¦ his eyes were so true, he was amazing at making me feel safe againā€¦ But so was Luke.

Next thing I know theyā€™re was another knock at my door. I sat up and sauntered towards the door. Lukas remained sitting on the couch. I threw the door open. ā€œLukeā€¦ā€
ā€œhi. Can I come in?ā€ I glanced back at Lukas but moved aside so he could fit inside. ā€œWhoā€™s he?ā€

he asked with pure jealousy raising in his voice.ā€

I rolled my eyes. ā€œThis is the second person whoā€™s had to save my life. ā€œLuke Wilson, Meet Lukas.ā€

He shook his head. ā€œSeriously, his name is Lukas?

I nodded my head. ā€œYup... Thatā€™d be correct.ā€ I walked over to Lukas and sat on his lap laughing

ā€œwow.ā€

He knew what he was thinking. He wanted to know what he was doing on my couch. I was just waiting for him to ask. He stared across the room and I knew he was about to askā€¦ ā€œSoā€¦UH are you
too like together?ā€

Lukas laughed but made a disgusted face. ā€œNo, Andi is sexi as fuck but Iā€™m gay.ā€

I smirked and watched as the jealousy was drained from Lukeā€™s face. ā€œohh.ā€ He said in a cheerful tone. I just nodded my head and turned towards Lukas.

ā€œSO, this would be the Luke I told you about that day.ā€

He leaned closer to me. ā€œLook, Iā€™m not really gay but if I wasā€¦.. damn.ā€ I glanced over at him and couldnā€™t stop laughing. He motioned me down towards him, so I
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