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place artists love because of all the natural light that came in from three sides. Wade had even found an artisan in Asheville to design a desk for Janelle with a slanted top that could swivel and lock in place so she'd be able to catch every ray of light she needed for her work. That special order desk cost close to $2,500 and Janelle loved it.

 

But so far as the room where the desk was, Janelle didnā€™t care for it one bit. It felt hollow and lonely. A tingle of nervous energy coursed through her because the house and this room in particular, even though it had what was probably a million dollar lake view, made Janelle feel a bitā€¦ off. Like something heavy was in the place with her. Then again, she was tired. She'd not slept well and that probably wasn't helping the situation.

 

Taking a seat at her drawing table, Janelle started sharpening her pencils and Dumbo plopped down by her feet. Looking around the room while the sharpener whined, she pondered the melancholy way the house and this room in particular made her feel. Sure she felt fatigued but the oppressed feeling lingered like a bad perfume.

 

She did have to give Lucas props, though. He and the contractors he hired had done an amazing job with the house. And the sunroom was the first improvement made by Lucas after Allison had died nearly sixteen years ago. It happened the summer Wade graduated high school. Thinking back a month or so ago, Janelle wished she could return to the moment she insisted Wade tell her everything about the ordeal and stop herself.

 

***

 

ā€œJanelle, what part of it's upsetting to talk about it evades you?ā€

 

ā€œWhat? It's not easy to talk about to me and yet you spent ten minutes chatting with that lady at Bi-Rite about how you were coping with living here sinceā€”ā€ Janelle paused for dramatic effect. ā€œā€”the tragedy? I swear everybody in this town knows all about the ā€˜Thomlin Tragedyā€™ except me. And Iā€™m a fucking Thomlin, Wade.ā€

 

ā€œSorry. But it wouldā€™ve been rude to tell Mrs. Bolton to leave me alone.ā€

 

ā€œRude? Seriously? You can talk to her and not me? Wade, Iā€™m your wife. I need to hear what happened from you. I know she drowned but her body was never found. I know itā€™s hard for you and your family. But Wade, I want to hear the story of Allison and this houseā€¦ our house, from you. Your mom won't tell me and God knows your poor dad, apparently he gets all bat shit crazy if anyone mentions her around him. Although I wouldnā€™t know I've been told never to fucking mention her around him so I donā€™t know what heā€™d do. So tell me. Tell me anything so I can understand. I understand what itā€™s like to lose someone and to drowning, nonetheless. Remember I lived on the coast. Three of my friends drowned when I was in school. I underst-ā€

 

"No, you don't. You don't understand because they were your friends. Not your sister." Wade shook his head in frustration. ā€œFine. You want to know all the details. It was summer. I was eighteen and the day it happened I working on the lawnmower at my parentā€™s house. Alli asked me to drive her to the lake to practice diving off the floating dock." He sat down and stared at the ceiling. "Diving. That's all she wanted to do that summer. But I told her I was busy. Then she stomped away, hopped on her bike, and rode into the woods. I thought she was going to play in the tree fort. Butā€¦ā€ Tears welled in his eyes.

 

ā€œYou couldnā€™t have known something was going to happen to her, Wade.ā€

 

ā€œYeah. But if I had just had taken herā€¦ā€

 

ā€œIt was an accident.ā€

 

ā€œNo. It wasn't. Well, not exactly. It was around seven oā€™clock, Mom and Dad had just gotten back from doing something at the church. I had just gotten back to the house because I went the AutoZone to get a sparkplug for the lawnmower then I went out to Porterā€™s Piggy Palace to have some barbeque. When I got home, I asked where Alli was and Mom and Dad didnā€™t know. Then I heard thunder and told them I thought she was at the tree fort and that Iā€™d go get her. But when I got to the fort, she wasnā€™t there. All I could think was I made her so mad she went riding blind into the woods and got herself turned around. Janelle, I cannot tell you how many times our parents told us if we got lost in the woods we were supposed to stop, sit, and wait to be found.ā€

 

ā€œWade, honey, she was a kid. She was probably scared. And Scared kids forget things.ā€

 

ā€œI know. I walked every trail I knew of. I might have been out for an hour, an hour and a half. I donā€™t. But then the rain started and I ran home like a bat out of hell; even tripped, it was sort of muddy from the rain, and then I slipped and rolled into some thorn bushes. I wound up covered in mud. And Christ those thorns tore me up. See this scar?ā€ He pointed to the edge of his left eye. "That was from one of them."

 

ā€œOuch.ā€

 

ā€œYeah, ouch. When I got home, I was trying to tell my parents that I couldnā€™t find Alli anywhere but my mom was more focused on me. I think it was because she was already worried about Alli and when she saw the blood on my arms and face mixed with the mud her mind went to the worst possible scenario because, I kid you not, she asked if I was attacked by a raccoon."

 

"A raccoon?"

 

"We get a lot of rabid animals around here. I think she thought if I was attacked by a rabid animal maybe Alli was or, hell... I don't even know what my mom was actually thinking." Wade laughed. "But now that you're a mom, you probably would have the same crazy thoughts, too, I guess. Then she went and got out the peroxide and told me to clean my cuts then she got on the phone to call the sheriff."

 

"Wait. She thought you'd been attacked by a rabid animal so she gave you peroxide to clean yourself up? What did she think? Did she think the peroxide was going to magically cure the virus that causes rabies?" Janelle grinned.

 

"Yeah, well, like I said she's a mom. It's what moms do, right?" He smiled and patted her leg. "After I was cleaned up, Dad and I left the house to search for her. By morning everybody was looking. The story of the missing ministerā€™s daughter was everywhere. So a day or two later when a family from visiting from Oklahoma found a towel in a creek downstream from the lake with Allison written on the tag, they called it in.ā€

 

Wade shrugged and shook his head. ā€œYou know, for some reason no one ever thought to search the lake even though I told them she was talking about diving. I guess they figured since the lake is about fifteen from the house it was too far for her to have wound up. But I told them the west shore is only four miles away through the woods; if you know the trail. No one listened to me. When that towel was found my parents were devastated.ā€ He stared out the huge window that looked over the lake.

 

ā€œIā€™m sorry. Iā€™m sure someone looked but you know, once a grid is searched, they just move to the next one.ā€

 

ā€œYeah, I know. But after her towel was found they started dredging the lake. But two weeks after searching, the recovery group said the summer rains probably washed her body down river just like her towel. For all they knew, Alliā€™s body couldā€™ve wound up in the French Broad River or even farther. You know, she might even be out there right now stuck under a rock or something.ā€ Tears poured down Wadeā€™s face as he thought about his sister being lost to the cold mountain water. ā€œWe kept searching but eventually my parents decided to bury a casket filled with her toys. I thought the day Alli went missing was the worst day of my life but it was that at the cemetery. And strangely enough it was one of the best, too.ā€

 

"What?"

 

"While they were lowering the casket, I felt something. I don't know. Call it the Holy Spirit. I didn't know what it was telling me at the time. It took a whole year of college to figure that out. But after seeing so many kids without someone to care for them wandering the streets, I realized that the 'something' I felt was telling me I needed to become a minister. I needed to help those who couldn't help themselves."

 

ā€œWade, thatā€™s wonderful. I understand itā€™s hard to talk about what happened to Allison, but it led to something good, right?"

 

"Yes, for me, it did. I found my calling. I found you. But it hurts me because of what it did to my family was devastating."

 

Janelle sat there and put her head on his shoulder. "Did anyone ever consider that maybe she was kidnapped?ā€

 

Wade shook his head and sighed. ā€œI donā€™t know. Maybe.  But itā€™s unlikely because of people like Mrs. Bolton from the Bi-Rite. People around here would have seen anything out of the ordinary. Strangers, especially nearly twenty years ago, were definitely out of the ordinary. And since thereā€™s basically only one road in or out of town, a strange car would have been seen. And none of the Park Rangers ever remembered seeing anyone matching Alliā€™s description walking the trails alone or with another person. And those guys might get a bad rap as the ā€˜not real policeā€™ theyā€™re are all over this place in the summer. Lots of people get lost out here.ā€

 

ā€œYeah, I guess it makes sense. This place isn't exactly a big city." Janelle grabbed her cup of tea and took a sip. "So why did Lucas do all the renovations to the cabin or the house or whatever weā€™re supposed to call it?ā€

 

ā€œWell, itā€™s a house now. And the renovations are  kind of my fault. Dad went way off the deep end after I left for college. Maybe it was because it was so soon after everything. And Mom said heā€™d come here and sit on the porch for hours just staring at the lake. His sermons became depressing; dark and without hope. And so one day when I was home and we were sitting out here I suggested enclosing the porch. That way, he could come any time of year to think about her. It seemed like a good idea at the time but this place became his obsession. He was doing okay for about a year or so. Then my mom got sick and he went so deep down the rabbit hole the Deacons asked him to step down from the pulpit. They let him be an assistant pastor but he never gave sermons after that.ā€ Wade started to cry and all Janelle could do was hold him.

 

***

 

Janelle was yanked from her sad recollection by Peterā€™s cries on the baby monitor. ā€œBack to work, Dumbo. Come on boy.ā€

 

After changing Peter and putting him in the play area by her table, Janelle didnā€™t feel as moody. She was ready to work and an hour later and she was hunched over, focusing intently on her drawing when Peter let out a blood curdling scream. Janelle jumped and knocked over her coffee, ruining her drawing. ā€œDamn it!ā€  Then Dumbo started barking.

 

ā€œHold on, Peter, Mommyā€™s coming.ā€ As she made her way to her son, Janelle was hit with a wave of bone jarring cold air that dissipated as quickly as it came. It felt like something went through her and the hair on the

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