Monster by Abigail Livinghouse (dark books to read txt) 📖

her parents gave her to eat. It was all she had, that and water. She wasn't about to stick around downstairs and go running for the bathroom at the first smell of food.

 "I'm good, thanks. I'm just gonna head to bed." She said and made her way to the stairs.

 "Alright. I love you honey." Her mother called behind her.

 "Love you too."

Once Ana was clear from the family room she ran into her bedroom and shut the door behind her. Now that she was alone, the voice was silent. She waited a few minutes more, seeing the numbers on her digital clock go up. Ana began to get frustrated.

 "What? Nothing? Why so quiet now?" She asked the empty space. "Aren't you gonna say something?"

 When nobody said anything in return, she plopped face first down on her bed.

 "What the fuck is wrong with me." Ana muttered to herself, rolling over and shutting her eyes.

 If she looked at the bright side, the voice was gone. Except it had said something about Lisa and Kristen's killer . . . oh who was she kidding, it was a voice inside her head, most likely a figment of her imagination. It wouldn't know anything more than she knew herself.

 Not true.

 She stiffened. The cool and calm voice inside her head had made an appearance once again. God dammit.

 "I thought you left." Ana mused wistfully. 

 No Ana. Like I said before, I'm afraid you won't be rid of me until this whole thing is over.

 She was back to square one, asking what the fuck that even meant. But seeing as that hadn't gotten her anywhere except back to where she started, she tried a different tactic.

 "So how are you going to help me find their killer anyway?" Ana asked, as if this was just a regular conversation and she wasn't completely alone in her room talking to herself.

 First things first is you have to avoid going to jail. My advice would be to stay as far away from Scooby and Shaggy as possible. If that doesn't work, run.

 Run? Run where? Ana was known all across the country as the lone survivor and possible witness to a double homicide. She couldn't exactly go walking down the street like normal.

 I'll help you with that too, however it will require you going out into the real world just for a little while. 

"For what?" She wondered.

 Hair dye.

 Ana almost groaned. She couldn't be seriously considering going on the run, away from her family, and taking the word of this thing in her head?

 What other choice do you have?

 The voice remarked, sounding almost cocky. Ana recoiled, grimacing. It was right of course.

 "What about my parents? I've just come back, and they won't let me step foot outside." She recognized, feeling a fleeting sense of hope that maybe this would stump the voice and it would go away after all. 

Haven't you ever snuck out of the house before? You're a teenage girl, you cannot lie and say you haven't. Just do it again. For a longer period this time, but it's still all the same.  

 "They'll notice." This she knew for a fact.

 I never said they wouldn't.

 "I can't do that to them." Ana said firmly.

 Her parents had thought she had met the same fate as her friends, and when she returned they believed that she was more likely a ghost than her actual self. Now that they had her back, she couldn’t leave them like that. 

 You must look at the big picture. Upset two people now, but bring justice to your friends  and many people later. Your parents will be fine for your short absence. Besides, they won't be able to recognize you if they saw you anyway.

 "What do you suggest I do?" Ana asked meekly. She wasn't too sure if she wanted to know. But like the voice had so kindly pointed out, what other choice did she have?

 

 

Chapter Nine

She had missed her opportunity to go to the drugstore with her mother last week to pick up the dye, so she went with her father today to visit her brother who worked there.

 It had been over a week since the Lisa and Kristen had died, and over a week that she had still been hearing the Voice. She had become accustomed to calling it "the voice" so she just called it that regularly now. After strong consideration and a weighing of her minimal options, Ana also decided to just go along with the Voice's plan about finding out who killed her two friends.

 It wasn't like the police were getting anywhere, except releasing details that the girls had died from one clean stab wound each to the heart. Aside from that, no fingerprints had been recovered, no murder weapon, nothing. Nothing except what they already knew. So, Ana decided to take matters into her own hands and try to find this killer. And she'd take whatever help she could get.

 Ana had twenty dollars stuck in her coat pocket in order to purchase the hair dye, and she was waiting for further instruction from the Voice when she got there.

 She still was debating whether she was crazy or not. The odds were leaning towards insanity, what kind of sane person heard voices?

 The Voice had popped up out of nowhere, and she hadn't known people could go crazy at random intervals in their lives. But considering she was a puzzle piece in a double homicide case, it wasn't surprising that she had possibly gone insane. 

 I've already told you Ana, you're not crazy. I'm here for a reason. I'll leave as soon as my job is done.

 The Voice sounded like it was sighing, and Ana rolled her eyes. Yeah, yeah.

She was wearing a baggy hoodie and sunglasses to hide who she was. Even though a week had passed since Lisa and Kristen's deaths, Ana still couldn't go out in public without being pointed at or bombarded with reporters, photographers, and video cameras.

 Once Mr. Walcott pulled into an empty space in the lot, he looked over at Ana with sadness and deep concern etched in his features.

 "Are you sure you want to go inside? You could wait in the car." He offered, trying to give her an out so that she wouldn't have to show herself in public.

 She shook her head, forcing a smile that felt very wrong on her face. "I'll be fine Dad. I haven't been out of the house in so long."

 Her father looked at her for a few moments and his eyes began to fill with tears. Ana looked down, not being able to bear seeing one of her parents cry again. There had been so many tears these past few days, and knowing that she was part of the cause, was tearing her apart.

 Mr. Walcott cleared his throat, wiping his reddening eyes. "Alright. Let's get a move on."

 They both got out of the car and headed into the Rite Aid, her father heading into the pharmacy section.

 "You wanna come with?" He asked her. Ana shook her head.

 "I'll be okay. I'm just gonna wander." She said with another poorly constructed smile.

 "Call my phone if you need me." Mr. Walcott told her, before leaving her in the middle of the store.

 Ana pulled her sleeves further over her hands, feeling her chest getting tighter and tighter and her palms begin to sweat. It felt like all eyes were on her. As she looked around the place, she saw a cashier staring at her, their mouth slightly open. They knew who she was.

 Oh God, she couldn't do this. She just couldn't, she had to get out of the store. It was so hot in there, and everyone was looking at her, waiting to see what she would do. She was about to throw up on the floor, and then drop in a dead faint. Fuck, fuck, fuck!

 Stay focused Ana. You'll be fine. No one is looking at you. This is all your imagination. Your mind is being influenced by fear. You need to disregard your fear and insecurities in order to do what needs to be done.

 She took a deep breath. The large room was spinning and her stomach was churning with the fear the Voice had warned her about. She couldn't just get rid of fear. Now that it had a firm grip on her, it wasn't anywhere near to letting go. Ana's knees shook, about to buckle and give out underneath her.

 Walk. Just walk. You have two legs that work perfectly fine. Just go to the beauty section of the store. You. Will. Be. Fine.

 The voice instructed sternly. Ana shut her eyes, digging her nails into her sweaty palms. With her foot feeling like her shoe had been filled with lead, she took a step forward, moving a little bit away from the center of the floor.

 Just like that. You're not a toddler Ana, you know how to move your feet.

 With the criticism of the Voice loudly inside her head, Ana began walking to the isle with shampoo, conditioner, and hair dye. Once she was out of the spotlight, she let out a long held in breath of relief. She wasn't being looked at anymore, she was safe. 

There's no need to make a scene. Just get the dye, pay for it, and shove it in that hoodie of yours before you get back to your father.

 The Voice was back to giving Ana calm and cool instructions. At least it wasn't screeching at her anymore.

 She scanned the rows of hair care products, and looked over the various hair dyes. Her hair was a very light, very dainty blonde. She loved the color and never once dyed it in her life. Staring at the boxes of dirty blonde and browns, she felt sick to her stomach.

 Black. You need black.

 The Voice popped up to order her again, and Ana cringed. . . Black?

 Yes Ana, black.

 It hissed at her in irritation. She clamped her lips shut, and against her better judgment, reached out and grabbed the darkest box there was. The woman on the cover with jet black locks was smiling joyfully at her. That's because she wasn't being forced to change her hair color against her will. 

Ana shook her head in disapproval, but went to the register to pay. 

Chapter Ten

Well, that certainly didn't go as smoothly as I'd hoped.

The Voice was frustrated with her, and was making it very apparent. Ana sat on her bed with the dye in her hands. The Voice was urging her to do it now and get it over with, that way she wouldn't overthink