Stalky & Co. by Rudyard Kipling (young adult books to read .txt) đ
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âRescue, Kings! Kings! Kings! Number Twelve form-room! Rescue, ProutsâProuts! Rescue, Macraes! Rescue, Hartopps!â
The juniors hurried out like bees aswarm, asking no questions, clattered up the staircase, and added themselves to the embroilment.
âNot bad for the first eveningâs work,â said Stalky, rearranging his collar. âI fancy Proutâll be somewhat annoyed. Weâd better establish an alibi.â So they sat on Mr. Kingâs railings till prep.
âYou see,â quoth Stalky, as they strolled up to prep. with the ignoble herd, âif you get the houses well mixed up anâ scufflinâ, itâs even bettinâ that some ass will start a real row. Hullo, Orrin, you look rather metagrobolized.â
âIt was all your fault, you beast! You started it. Weâve got two hundred lines apiece, and Heffyâs lookinâ for you. Just see what that swine Malpas did to my eye!â
âI like your saying we started it. Who called us cribbers? Canât your infant mind connect cause and effect yet? Some day youâll find out that it donât pay to jest with Number Five.â
âWhereâs that shillinâ you owe me?â said Beetle suddenly.
Stalky could not see Prout behind him, but returned the lead without a quaver. âI only owed you ninepence, you old usurer.â
âYouâve forgotten the interest,â said McTurk. âA halfpenny a week per bob is Beetleâs charge. You must be beastly rich, Beetle.â
âWell, Beetle lent me sixpence.â Stalky came to a full stop and made as to work it out on his fingers. âSixpence on the nineteenth, didnât he?â
âYes; hut youâve forgotten you paid no interest on the other bobâthe one I lent you before.â
âBut you took my watch as security.â The game was developing itself almost automatically.
âNever mind. Pay me my interest, or Iâll charge you interest on interest. Remember, Iâve got your note-of-hand!â shouted Beetle.
âYou are a cold-blooded Jew,â Stalky groaned.
âHush!â said McTurk very loudly indeed, and started as Prout came upon them.
âI didnât see you in that disgraceful affair in the form-room just now,â said he.
âWhat, sir? Weâre just come up from Mr. Kingâs,â said Stalky. âPlease, sir, what am I to do about prep.? Theyâve broken the desk you told me to sit at, and the formâs just swimming with ink.â
âFind another seatâfind another seat. Dâyou expect me to dry-nurse you? I wish to know whether you are in the habit of advancing money to your associates, Beetle?â
âNo, sir; not as a general rule, sir.â
âIt is a most reprehensible habit. I thought that my house, at least, would be free from it. Even with my opinion of you, I hardly thought it was one of your vices.â
âThereâs no harm in lending money, sir, is there?â
âI am not going to bandy words with you on your notions of morality. How much have you lent Corkran?â
âIâI donât quite know,â said Beetle. It is difficult to improvise a going concern on the spur of the minute.
âYou seemed certain enough just now.â
âI think itâs two and fourpence,â said McTurk, with a glance of cold scorn at Beetle. In the hopelessly involved finances of the study there was just that sum to which both McTurk and Beetle laid claim, as their share in the pledging of Stalkyâs second-best Sunday trousers. But Stalky had maintained for two terms that the money was his âcommissionâ for effecting the pawn; and had, of course, spent it on a study âbrew.â
âUnderstand this, then. You are not to continue your operations as a money-lender. Two and fourpence, you said, Corkran?â
Stalky had said nothing, and continued so to do.
âYour influence for evil is quite strong enough without buying a hold over your companions.â He felt in his pockets, and (oh joy!) produced a florin and fourpence. âBring me what you call Corkranâs note-of-hand, and be thankful that I do not carry the matter any further. The money is stopped from your pocket-money, Corkran. The receipt to my study, at once!â
Little they cared! Two and fourpence in a lump is worth six weekly sixpences any hungry day of the week.
âBut what the dooce is a note-of-hand?â said Beetle. âI only read about it in a book.â
âNow youâve jolly well got to make one,â said Stalky.
âYesâbut our ink donât turn black till next day. Sâpose heâll spot that?â
âNot him. Heâs too worried,â said McTurk. âSign your name on a bit of impot-paper, Stalky, and write, âI O U two and fourpence.â Arenât you grateful to me for getting that out of Prout? Stalkyâd never have paid⊠Why, you ass!â
Mechanically Beetle had handed over the money to Stalky as treasurer of the study. The custom of years is not lightly broken. In return for the document, Prout expounded to Beetle the enormity of money-lending, which, like everything except compulsory cricket, corrupted houses and destroyed good feeling among boys, made youth cold and calculating, and opened the door to all evil. Finally, did Beetle know of any other cases? If so, it was his duty as proof of repentance to let his housemaster know. No names need be mentioned.
Beetle did not knowâat least, he was not quite sure, sir. How could he give evidence against his friends? The house might, of courseâhere he feigned an anguished delicacyâbe full of it. He was not in a position to say. He had not met with any open competition in his trade; but if Mr. Prout considered it was a matter that affected the honor of the house (Mr. Prout did consider it precisely that), perhaps the house-prefects would be betterâŠ
He spun it out till half-way through prep.
âAnd,â said the amateur Shylock, returning to the form-room and dropping at Stalkyâs side, âif he donât think the house is putrid with it, Iâm seveiral Dutch-menâthatâs all⊠Iâve been to Mr. Proutâs study, sir.â This to the prep.-master. âHe said I could sit where I liked, sir⊠Oh, he is just tricklinâ with emotion⊠Yes, sir, Iâm only askinâ Corkran to let me have a dip in his ink.â
After prayers, on the road to the dormitories, Harrison and Craye, senior house-prefects, zealous in their office, waylaid them with great anger. âWhat have you been doing to Heffy this time, Beetle? Heâs been jawing us all the evening.â
âWhat has His Serene Transparency been vexinâ you for?â said McTurk.
âAbout Beetle lendinâ money to Stalky,â began Harrison; âand then Beetle went and told him that there was any amount of money-lendinâ in the house.â
âNo, you donât,â said Beetle, sitting on a boot-basket. âThatâs just what I didnât tell him. I spoke the giddy truth. He asked me if there was much of it in the house; and I said I didnât know.â
âHe thinks youâre a set of filthy Shylocks,â said McTurk. âItâs just as well for you he donât think youâre burglars. You know he never gets a notion out of his conscientious old head.â
âWell-meaninâ man. Did it all for the best.â Stalky curled gracefully round the stair-rail. âHead in a drain-pipe. Full confession in the left boot. Bad for the honor of the houseâvery.â
âShut up,â said Harrison. âYou chaps always behave as if you were jawinâ us when we come to jaw you.â
âYouâre a lot too cheeky,â said Craye.
âI donât quite see where the cheek comes in, except on your part, in interferinâ with a private matter between me anâ Beetle after it has been settled by Prout.â Stalky winked cheerfully at the others.
âThatâs the worst of clever little swots,â said McTurk, addressing the gas. âThey get made prefects before they have any tact, and then they annoy chaps who could really help âem to look after the honor of the house.â
âWe wonât trouble you to do that!â said Craye hotly.
âThen what are you badgerinâ us for?â said Beetle. âOn your own showing, youâve been so beastly slack, looking after the house, that Prout believes itâs a nest of money-lenders. Iâve told him that Iâve lent money to Stalky, and no one else. I donât know whether he believes me, but that finishes my case. The rest is your business.â
âNow we find out,â Stalkyâs voice rose, âthat there is apparently an organized conspiracy throughout the house. For aught we know, the fags may be lendinâ and borrowinâ far beyond their means. We arenât responsible for it. Weâre only the rank and file.â
âAre you surprised we donât wish to associate with the house?â said McTurk, with dignity. âWeâve kept ourselves to ourselves in our study till we were turned out, and now we find ourselves let in for for this sort of thing. Itâs simply disgraceful.â
âThen you hector and bullyrag us on the stairs,â said Stalky, âabout matters that are your business entirely. You know we arenât prefects.â
âYou threatened us with a prefectâs lickinâ just now,â said Beetle, boldly inventing as he saw the bewilderment in the faces of the enemy. âAnd if you expect youâll gain anything from us by your way of approachinâ us, youâre jolly well mistaken. Thatâs all. Good-night.â
They clattered upstairs, injured virtue on every inch of their backs.
âButâbut what the dickens have we done?â said Harrison, amazedly, to Craye.
âI donât know. Onlyâit always happens that way when one has anything to do with them. Theyâre so beastly plausible.â
And Mr. Prout called the good boys into his study anew, and succeeded in sinking both his and their innocent minds ten fathoms deeper in blindfolded bedazement. He spoke of steps and measures, of tone and loyalty in the house and to the house, and urged them to take up the matter tactfully.
So they demanded of Beetle whether he had any connection with any other establishment. Beetle promptly went to his housemaster, and wished to know by what right Harrison and Craye had reopened a matter already settled between him and his housemaster. In injured innocence no boy excelled Beetle.
Then it occurred to Prout that he might have been unfair to the culprit, who had not striven to deny or palliate his offense. He sent for Harrison and Craye, reprehending them very gently for the tone they had adopted to a repentant sinner, and when they returned to their study, they used the language of despair. They then made headlong inquisition through the house, driving the fags to the edge of hysterics, and unearthing, with tremendous pomp and parade, the natural and inevitable system of small loans that prevails among small boys.
âYou see, Harrison, Thornton minor lent me a penny last Saturday, because I was fined for breaking the window; and I spent it at Keyteâs. I didnât know there was any harm in it. And Wray major borrowed twopence from me when my uncle sent me a post-office orderâI cashed it at Keyteâsâfor five bob; but heâll pay me back before the holidays. We didnât know there was anything wrong in it.â
They waded through hours of this kind of thing, but found no usury, or anything approaching to Beetleâs gorgeous scale of interest. The seniorsâfor the school had no tradition of deference to prefects outside compulsory gamesâtold them succinctly to go about their business. They would not give evidence on any terms. Harrison was one idiot, and Craye was another; but the greatest of all, they said, was their housemaster.
When a house is thoroughly upset, however good its conscience, it breaks into knots and coteriesâsmall gatherings in the twilight, box-room committees, and groups in the corridor. And when from group to group, with an immense affectation of secrecy, three wicked boys steal, crying âCaveââ
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