my life by natalie loren (rooftoppers .txt) 📖

I ended up being able to nap for a bit more than an hour as my last client canceled. I wanted to stay away from the house so I wouldn’t nap but I did. I went to the garage and made an apt for tomorrow so they can fix my car. That said, I will need to go drop it off after I picked up hub from work. I’ll be glad when I don’t have to pick him up cause I would be in bed right now if I didn’t have to go get him. I feel blah! My side still hurts and after that nap earlier, I just felt even worse. I woke up with a huge headache and my side hurting very badly. I’m glad I have a day off tomorrow and that I’m finally seeing the doc. I was meant to go pick up my pills at Costco today but I didn’t even do that so I’ll have to remember to do it tomorrow.

The store wasn’t too bad but I just didn’t want to be there. On top of things, the manager asked me to stay until midnight next Sun for the cleaners which I really don’t want to be doing. I told her no and I feel terrible for doing so but come on, I’m doing too much already and my body is making me feel it. I wish I didn’t have that damn student loan to pay or I’d be out of the store in no time. I know I’m a workaholic and even if I do stop working at my part-time job I’ll prob end up going somewhere else cause I’ll just crave work but right now I just need a break. I’ve honestly never felt like I’ve been feeling and I just feel it’s my body telling me that I’m doing too much, that it needs a break.

Anyways, I don’t have much more to say. I don’t really know why I even bothered writing but yea. All I can say is that I’m super tired right now and I really want to sleep but I still have like an hour to wait. Arg!

I was right as far as my client not canceling this morning. No sleeping in for me today so it’s gonna be a long ass day as I’m already craving a nap and won’t even get to do that. I’m waiting on my client who has a doc appt and I’m staying away from reading at the moment cause it’s making me sleepy. 

I was able to sleep alright last night. Guess my pill really knocked me out cause I didn’t even realize when hub came to bed which normally wakes me up. I mostly slept all night but once out of bed, my side is hurting so very badly today. I knew this was going to happen with me lifting stuff and all at the store. I’m not sure this pain is related to coughing anymore. One more day and I’m seeing the doc and hopefully, all of this will be figured out as dang, I feel shitty. 

I wonder how my friend is feeling today. I sure hope she’s feeling better and that she’ll be able to drive hub at work cause I don’t think I can find him a drive today as Sat was just a luck to find him one. Talking about hub and work.. I’m pissed. He’s going overnight pretty soon and I thought it was going to help for when I want to go to my mom as we could now leave on Mon night instead of Tue morning but NO, he just told me over the weekend that he’d be having Tue-Wed-Thu off so that doesn’t help at all. Fuck! Why can’t he just get a damn shift that makes sense? I’m pissed! I had only agreed to him going overnight because of this and looks like it’s not even gonna be what I wanted. Arg! I’m getting really discouraged with everything lately as nothing seem to want to work out. I know things could be way worse but still. Feels like I’m working so hard to get somewhere but I always end up two steps back. Just like my work, she emailed me this morning asking if I could take someone on Wed. Blah! I’m kinda looking for a new job but I’m not sure. I wanted to apply at this one place which I’ve already done a few times in the past with no luck but I’m not sure about it anymore and only reason is because it says you need to cook or prep meal and I don’t cook so I really don’t know about applying there as I don’t know how much of that they expect you to be doing. 

I really can’t wait to see the doc on Tue and just hopes he can help me out cause this is insane. My throat felt so blocked off last night that all I wanted to do was cry as it kept me from sleeping. I finally managed to fall asleep but got woken up with a big scared cause I felt like someone was choking me and I couldn’t breath right so I got coughing and felt so very dizzy. I just felt so wrong this morning but of course I didn’t wanted to go to the ER cause I had to work at the store and I’m in charge when I work there so obviously I can’t call myself sick. Blah! After an hour or so of being working I started feeling better but that ball in my throat is always there and I just don’t know anymore. I always thought it was some mucus but I’m starting to be scared it’s something more serious. Two more days and I might know more. I just really hope it can be fix and soon. 

So back to yesterday, we went to see 12 Strong which is an army movie so I didn’t think I’d enjoy it at all but found myself liking the movie and I didn’t fall asleep which is a big surprise as I hadn’t napped before the movie. Yay me! After the movie I went over to my friend to bring her some NyQuil and she finally got the shower curtain I had ordered for her. I’m still sad my surprise didn’t turn out as I had planned as I had to ask her about the delivery but she was still super happy about it. As for my purse, it’s at customs and hub’s RAM made it to the PC place so hopefully he will receive new ones soon so he can play his game although he doesn’t seem to be depressed anymore. 

My day at work was fine as I had good staff today. I wish every day I work was with today’s staff. Mom also came to the store to give me my pills which was very nice of her to drive two hours to bring them to me. She came with a friend and they went to the Casino so it wasn’t just for me. Haha!

Nothing much is going on beside all of that. I need to call the garage tomorrow to see when they can take my car in and I should get it back by next week. Woohoo! Hub said that if what happened with me last night happens again tonight that I won’t be going to work tomorrow, that I’d be going to the hospital. Pfft! I really hope it doesn’t happen again. I’m feeling that ball right now as I lay in bed writing and I just want to cry as I’ve been coughing and a deep one and no mucus has been coming up so I’m starting to believe it’s something else than mucus at this point. I’ll be taking a sleeping pill tonight as I finally have some so maybe I’ll be sleeping better even thought the feeling in the throat is quite annoying. 

I’m trying to be good and sleep at decent time so I should prob get ready if I still want to be doing that as I have about 20 mins if I want to get my eight hours sleep. Most Mondays my morning client cancels but I have a feeling she won’t be doing that tomorrow so I need my sleep. 

My hair is too long, it just is. I know the last I talked about it I said it was where it was supposed to be but it can’t be. My hair almost touches my shoulders and it never does when I have it cut. It just is too long and I can’t wait to have it cut. I’m glad I didn’t cancel my apt in the end. I’m sick and it’s making it worse cause it’s in my neck and I can just feel it and it’s quite annoying. I keep looking at it and trying to figure out where it should be and I’m not too sure. All I know for sure is that it’s too long, it looks like she forgot to cut the last layer or, I don’t know. I’ll just be glad once it’s cut and not so much in my neck anymore.

Beside my hair, I still hate myself very much so cause I called in sick, once again. I don’t recall EVER calling in sick two days in a row. It’s killing me! I just felt I needed it cause when I woke up all I did for like