A KNIGHT OF THE NINETEENTH CENTURY by Edward Payson Roe (world of reading .txt) 📖

Humble Circumstances, I Would Much

Prefer Taking My Chances Of Meeting My Master With Them Than In the

Church Which Practically Excludes Them.

 

 

 

"Christ Said, 'I Was A Stranger, And Ye Took Me In.' I Came To Our

Church As A Stranger Twice. I Was Permitted to Walk In and Walk Out, But

No One Spoke To Me, No One Invited me To Come Again. It Seems To Me That

I Would Starve Rather Than Enter A Private House Where I Was So Coldly

Treated. I Have No Desire For Startling Innovations. I Simply Wish To

Unite Myself With A Church That Is Trying To Imitate The Example Of The

Master, And Where All, Whatever May Be Their Garb Or Social And Moral

Character, Are Cordially Invited and Sincerely Welcomed."

 

 

 

Dr. Barstow Now Removed his Hand From His Face. It Was Pale, But Its

Expression Was Resolute And Noble.

 

 

 

"Mrs. Arnot, Permit Me To Say That You Are Both Right And Wrong," He

Said. "Your Views Of What A Church Should Be Are Right; You Are Wrong In

Wishing To Withdraw Before Having Patiently And Prayerfully Sought To

Inculcate A True Christian Spirit Among Those To Whom You Owe And Have

Promised christian Fidelity. You Know That I Have Not Very Long Been The

Pastor Of This Church, But I Have Already Felt That Something Was Amiss.

I Have Been Oppressed and Benumbed with A Certain Coldness And Formality

In Our Church Life. At The Same Time I Admit, With Contrition, That I

Have Given Way To My Besetting Sin. I Am Naturally A Student, And When

Once In my Study I Forget The Outside World. I Am Prone To Become Wholly

Occupied with The Thought Of My Text, And To Forget Those For Whom I Am

Preparing My Discourse. I, Too, Often Think More Of The Sermon Than Of

The People, Forgetting The End In the Means, And Thus I Fear I Was

Becoming But A Voice, A Religious Philosophy, Among Them, Instead Of A

Living and A Personal Power. You Have Been Awakened to The Truth, Mrs.

Arnot, And You Have Awakened me. I Do Not Feel Equal To The Task Which I

Clearly Foresee Before Me; I May Fail Miserably, But I Shall No Longer

Darken Counsel With Many Words. You Have Given Me Much Food For Thought;

And While I Cannot Foretell The End, I Think Present Duty Will Be Made

Clear. In times Of Perplexity It Is Our Part To Do What Seems Right,

Asking God For Guidance, And Then Leave The Consequences To Him. One

Thing Seems Plain To Me, However, That It Is Your Present Duty To Remain

With Us, And Give Your Prayers And The Whole Weight Of Your Influence On

The Side Of Reform."

 

 

 

"Dr. Barstow," Said Mrs. Arnot, Her Face Flushing Slightly, "You Are

Right; You Are Right. I Have Been Hasty, And, While Condemning Others,

Was Acting Wrong Myself. You Have Shown The Truer Christian Spirit. I

Will Remain While There Is Any Hope Of A Change For The Better."

 

 

 

"Well, Mrs. Arnot," Said Mr. Blakeman, The Elderly Church Officer, "I

Have Drawn You Out Partly To Get Your Views And Partly To Get Some

Clearer Views Myself. I, Too, Am With You, Doctor, In this Struggle; But

I Warn You Both That We Shall Have A Hot Time Before We Thaw The Ice Out

Of Our Church."

 

 

 

"First Pure, And Then Peaceable," Said The Minister Slowly And Musingly;

And Then They Separated, Each Feeling Somewhat As Soldiers Who Are About

To Engage In a Severe And Doubtful Battle.

 

Chapter XXXIV (A Foothold)

The Skies Did Not Brighten For Haldane, And He Remained perplexed and

Despondent. When One Wishes To Reform, Everything Does Not Become Lovely

In This Unfriendly World. The First Steps Are Usually The Most

Difficult, And The Earliest Experience The Most Disheartening. God Never

Designed that Reform Should Be Easy. As It Is, People Are Too Ready To

Live The Life Which Renders Reform Necessary. The Ranks Of The Victims

Of Evil Would Be Doubled did Not A Wholesome Fear Of The Consequences

Restrain.

 

 

 

Within A Few Short Weeks The Fortunes Of The Wealthy And Self-Confident

Youth Had Altered so Greatly That Now He Questioned whether The World

Would Give Him Bread, Except On Conditions That Were Painfully

Repugnant.

 

 

 

There Was His Mother'S Offer, It Is True; But Had Mrs. Haldane

Considered the Nature Of This Offer, Even She Could Scarcely Have Made

It. Suppose He Tried to Follow Out His Mother'S Plan, And Went To A City

Where He Was Unknown, Could She Expect An Active Young Fellow To Go To

An Obscure Boarding-House, And Merely Eat And Sleep? By An Inevitable

Law The Springing Forces Of His Nature Must Find Employment Either In

Good Or Evil. If He Sought Employment Of Any Kind The Question Would At

Once Arise, "Who Are You?" And Sooner Or Later Would Come His History.

In His Long, Troubled reveries He Thought Of All This, And The Prospect

Of Vegetating In dull Obscurity At His Mother'S Expense Was As Pleasant

As That Of Being Buried alive.

 

 

 

Moreover, He Could Not Endure To Leave Hillaton In utter Defeat. He Was

Prostrate, And Felt The Foot Of Adverse Fate Upon His Neck, But He Would

Not Acknowledge Himself Conquered. If He Could Regain His Feet He Would

Renew The Struggle; And He Hoped in some Way To Do So. As Yet, However,

The Future Was A Wall Of Darkness.

 

 

 

Neither Did He Find Any Rest For His Spiritual Feet. For Some Reason He

Could Not Grasp The Idea Of A Personal God Who Cared enough For Him To

Give Any Practical Help. In spite Of All That Mrs. Arnot Could Say, His

Heart Remained as Cold And Heavy As A Stone Within His Breast.

 

 

 

But To Some Extent He Could Appreciate The Picture She Had Presented. He

Saw One Who, Through Weakness And Folly, Had Fallen Into The Depths Of

Degradation, Patiently And Bravely Fighting His Way Up To A True

Manhood; And He Had Been Made To Feel That It Was Such A Noble Thing To

Do That He Longed to Accomplish It. Whether He Could Or No He Was Not

Sure, For His Old Confidence Was All Gone. But He Daily Grew More Bent

On Making an Honest Trial, And In this Effort A Certain Native

Persistency And Unwillingness To Yield Would Be Of Much Help To Him.

 

 

 

He Was Now Willing, Also, To Receive Any Aid Which Self-Respect

Permitted him To Accept, And Was Grateful For The Copying Obtained for

Him By Mrs. Arnot. But She Frankly Told Him That It Would Not Last Long.

The Question What He Should Do Next Pressed heavily Upon Him.

 

 

 

As He Was Reading The Paper To Mr. Growther One Evening, His Eye Caught

An Advertisement Which Stated that More Hands Were Needed at A Certain

Factory In the Suburbs. He Felt Sure That If He Presented himself In the

Morning With The Others He Would Be Refused, And He Formed the Bold

Purpose Of Going at Once To The Manufacturer. Having Found The Stately

Residence, He Said To The Servant Who Answered his Summons:

 

 

 

"Will You Say To Mr. Ivison That A Person Wishes To See Him?"

 

 

 

The Maid Eyed him Critically, And Concluded, From His Garb, To Leave Him

Standing In the Hall.

 

 

 

Mr. Ivison Left His Guests In the Parlor And Came Out, Annoyed at The

Interruption.

 

 

 

"Well, What Do You Wish, Sir?" He Said, In a Tone That Was Far From

Being Encouraging, At The Same Time Gaining an Unfavorable Impression

From Haldane'S Dress.

 

 

 

"In The Evening Paper You Advertised for More Hands In your Factory. I

Wish Employment."

 

 

 

"Are You Drunk, Or Crazy, That You Thus Apply At My Residence?" Was The

Harsh Reply.

 

 

 

"Neither, Sir; I--"

 

 

 

"You Are Very Presuming, Then."

 

 

 

"You Would Not Employ Me If I Came In the Morning."

 

 

 

"What Do You Mean? Who Are You?"

 

 

 

"I Am At Least Human. Can You Give One Or Two Moments To The

Consideration Of My Case?"

 

 

 

"One Might Afford That Much," Said The Gentleman With A Half-Apologetic

Laugh; For The Pale Face And Peculiar Bearing Of The Stranger Were

Beginning To Interest Him.

 

 

 

"I Do Not Ask More Of Your Time, And Will Come Directly To The Point. My

Name Is Haldane, And, As Far As I Am Concerned, You Know Nothing Good

Concerning Me."

 

 

 

"You Are Correct," Said Mr. Ivison Coldly. "I Shall Not Need your

Services."

 

 

 

"Mr. Ivison," Said Haldane In a Tone That Made The Gentleman Pause,

"Ought I To Be A Thief And A Vagabond?"

 

 

 

"Certainly Not."

 

 

 

"Then Why Do You, And All Who, Like You, Have Honest Work To Give, Leave

Me No Other Alternative? I Have Acted wrongly And Foolishly, But I Wish

To Do Better. I Do Not Ask A Place Of Trust, Only Work With Others,

Under The Eyes Of Others, Where I Could Not Rob You Of A Cent'S Worth If

I Wished. In the Hurry And Routine Of Your Office You Would Not Listen

To Me, So I Come To-Night And Make This Appeal. If You Refuse It, And I

Go To The Devil, You Will Have A Hand In the Result."

 

 

 

The Prompt Business-Man, Whose Mind Had Learned to Work With The

Rapidity Of His Machinery, Looked at The Troubled, Half-Desperate Face A

Moment, And Then Said Emphatically:

 

 

 

"By Jove, You Are Right! I'Ll Give You Work. Come To-Morrow. Good-Night,

And Good Luck To Your Good Intentions. But Remember, No Nonsense."

 

 

 

Here At Last Was A Chance; Here At Last Was Regular Employment. It Was

One Step Forward. Would He Be Able To Hold It? This Seemed doubtful On

The Morrow After He Had Realized the Nature Of His Surroundings. He Was

Set To Work In a Large Room Full Of Men, Boys, And Slatternly-Dressed

Girls. He Was Both Scolded and Laughed at For The Inevitable Awkwardness

Of A New Beginner, And Soon His Name And History Began To Be Whispered

About. During The Noon Recess A Rude Fellow Flung The Epithet Of

"Jail-Bird" At Him, And, Of Course, It Stuck Like A Burr. Never In all

His Life Had He Made Such An Effort At Self-Control As That Which Kept

His Hands Off This Burly Tormentor.

 

 

 

He Both Puzzled and Annoyed his Companions. They Knew That He Did Not

Belong To Their Class, And His Bearing and Manner Made Them Unpleasantly

Conscious Of His Superiority; And Yet All Believed themselves So Much

More Respectable Than He, That They Felt It Was A Wrong To Them That He

Should Be There At All. Thus He Was Predestined to Dislike And

Ill-Treatment. But That He Could Act As If He Were Deaf And Blind To All

That They Could Do Or Say Was More Than They Could Understand. With Knit

Brows And Firmly-Closed lips He Bent His Whole Mind To The Mastery Of

The Mechanical Duties Required of Him, And When They Were Over He Strode

Straight To His Humble Lodging-Place.

 

 

 

Mr. Growther Watched him Curiously As He Reacted into Lassitude And

Despondency After The Strain And Tension Of The Day.

 

 

 

"It'S Harder To Stand Than 'Tis To Git Along With Me, Isn'T It?"

 

 

 

"Yes, Much Harder."

 

 

 

"O Thunder! Better Give It Up, Then, And Try Something Else."

 

 

 

"No, It'S My Only Chance."

 

 

 

"There'S Plenty Other Things To Do."

 

 

 

"Not For Me. These Vulgar Wretches I Am Working With Think It An Outrage

That A 'Jail-Bird,' As They Call Me, Contaminates The Foul Air That They

Breathe. I May Be Driven Out By Them; But," Setting His Teeth, "I Won'T

Give Up This Foothold Of My Own Accord."

 

 

 

"You Might Have Been President If You Had Shown Such Grit Before You Got

Down."

 

 

 

"That'S Not Pleasant To Think Of Now."

 

 

 

"I Might 'A Known That; But It'S My Mean Way Of Comfortin' People.

A-A-H."

 

 

 

Haldane'S New Venture Out Into The World Could Scarcely Have Had A More

Painful And Prosaic Beginning; But, As He Said, He Had Gained a

"Foothold."

 

 

 

There Was One Other Encouraging Fact, Of Which He Did Not Know. Mr.

Ivison Sent For The Foreman Of The Room In which Haldane Had Been Set At

Work, And Said:

 

 

 

"Give The Young Fellow A Fair Chance, And Report To Me From