A KNIGHT OF THE NINETEENTH CENTURY by Edward Payson Roe (world of reading .txt) 📖

Perhaps--This Does Require Heroism Of The Highest Order,

And The Man Who Can Do It Is My Ideal Knight.

 

 

 

"You Inveigh Against The World, Egbert, As If It Were A Harsh And

Remorseless Foe, Bent On Crushing You; But You Have Far More Dangerous

Enemies Lurking In your Own Heart. If You Could Thoroughly Subdue These

With God'S Aid, You Would At The Same Time Overcome The World, Or Find

Yourself So Independent Of It As Scarcely To Care Whether Or No It Gave

You Its Favor. When You Left This Prison Before, You Sought In the Wrong

Way To Win The Position You Had Lost. You Were Very Proud Of Your Former

Standing; But You Had Very Little Occasion To Be, For You Had Inherited

It. The Deeds Of Others, Not Your Own, Had Won It For You. If You Had

Realized it, It Gave You A Great Vantage, But That Was All. If You Had

Been Content To Have Remained a Conceited, Commonplace Man, Versed only

In The Fashionable Jargon And Follies Of The Hour, And Basing Your

Claims On The Wealth Which You Had Shown Neither The Ability Nor

Industry To Win, You Would Never Have Had My Respect.

 

 

 

"Well, To Tell The Truth, Such Shadows Of Men Are Respected by No One,

Not Even Themselves, Even Though They May Commit No Deed which Society

Condemns, But If In this Prison Cell You Set Your Face Like A Flint

Against The Weaknesses And Grave Faults Of Your Nature Which Have

Brought You Here, And Which Would Have Made You Anything But An

Admirable Man Had You Retained your Old Position--If, With God As Your

Fast Ally, You Wage Unrelenting and Successful War Against All That Is

Unworthy Of A Christian Manhood--I Will Not Only Respect, I Will Honor

You. You Will Be One Of My Ideal Knights."

 

 

 

As Mrs. Arnot Spoke, Haldane'S Eyes Kindled, And His Drooping Manner Was

Exchanged for An Aspect That Indicated reviving Hope And Courage.

 

 

 

"I Have Lost Faith In myself," He Said Slowly; "And As Yet I Have No

Faith In god; But After What You Have Said I Do Not Fear Him As I Did. I

Have Faith In you, However, Mrs. Arnot, And I Would Rather Gain Your

Respect Than That Of All The World. You Know Me Now Better Than Any One

Else. Do You Truly Believe That I Could Succeed in such A Struggle?"

 

 

 

"Without Faith In god You Cannot. Even The Ancient Knight, Whose Success

Depended so Much On The Skill And Strength Of His Arm, And The Temper Of

His Weapons And Armor, Was Supposed to Spend Hours In prayer Before

Attempting any Great Thing. But With God'S Help Daily Sought And

Obtained, You Cannot Fail. You Can Achieve That Which The World Cannot

Take From You--Which Will Be A Priceless Possession After The World Has

Forgotten You And You It--A Noble Character."

 

 

 

Haldane Was Silent Several Moments, Then, Drawing a Long Breath, He

Said, Slowly And Humbly:

 

 

 

"How I Am To Do This I Do Not Yet Understand; But If You Will Guide Me,

I Will Attempt It."

 

 

 

"This Book Will Guide You, Egbert," Said Mrs. Arnot, Placing Her Bible

In His Hands. "God Himself Will Guide You If You Ask Sincerely.

Good-Night." And She Gave Him Such A Warm And Friendly Grasp Of The Hand

As To Prove That Evil Had Not Yet Wholly Isolated him From The Pure And

Good.

 

Chapter XXXI (The Low Starting-Point)

On The Afternoon Of The Following Day Mrs. Arnot Again Visited haldane,

Bringing Him Several Letters From His Mother Which Had Been Sent In her

Care; And She Urged that The Son Should Write At Once In a Way That

Would Reassure The Mother'S Heart.

 

 

 

In His Better Mood The Young Man'S Thoughts Recurred to His Mother With

A Remorseful Tenderness, And He Eagerly Sought Out The Envelope Bearing

The Latest Date, And Tore It Open. As He Read, The Pallor And Pain

Expressed in his Face Became So Great That Mrs. Arnot Was Much Troubled,

Fearing That The Letter Contained evil Tidings.

 

 

 

Without A Word He Handed it To Her, And Also Two Inclosed paragraphs Cut

From Newspapers.

 

 

 

"Do You Think Your Mother Would Wish Me To See It?" Asked mrs. Arnot,

Hesitatingly.

 

 

 

"I Wish You To See It, And It Contains No Injunctions Of Secrecy.

Indeed, She Has Been Taking Some Very Open And Decided steps Which Are

Here Indicated."

 

 

 

Mrs. Arnot Read:

 

 

 

 

"My Unnatural Son--Though You Will Not Write Me A Line, You Still Make

It Certain That I Shall Hear From You, As The Inclosed clippings From

Hillaton Papers May Prove To You. You Have Forfeited all Claim On Both

Your Sisters And Myself. Our Lawyer Has Been Here To-Day, And Has Shown

Me, What Is Only Too Evident, That Money Would Be A Curse To You--That

You Would Squander It And Disgrace Yourself Still More, If Such A Thing

Were Possible. As The Property Is Wholly In my Hands, I Shall Arrange It

In Such A Way That You Shall Never Have A Chance To Waste It. If You

Will Comply With The Following Conditions I Will Supply All That Is

Essential To One Of Your Nature And Tastes. I Stipulate That You Leave

Hillaton, And Go To Some Quiet Place Where Our Name Is Not Known, And

That You There Live So Quietly That I Shall Hear Of No More Disgraceful

Acts Like Those Herein Described. I Have Given Up The Hope Of Hearing

Anything Good. If You Will Do This I Will Pay Your Board And Grant You A

Reasonable Allowance. If You Will Not Do This, You End All Communication

Between Us, And We Must Be As Strangers Until You Can Show An Entirely

Different Spirit. Yours In bitter Shame And Sorrow,

 

 

 

"Emily Haldane."

 

 

 

 

The Clippings Were Mr. Shrumpf'S Version Of His Own Swindle, And A

Tolerably Correct Account Of The Events Which Led to The Present

Imprisonment.

 

 

 

"Will You Accept Your Mother'S Offer?" Mrs. Arnot Asked, Anxiously, For

She Was Much Troubled as To What Might Be The Effect Of The Unfortunate

Letter At This Juncture.

 

 

 

"No!" He Replied with Sharp Emphasis.

 

 

 

"Egbert, Remember You Have Given Your Mother The Gravest Provocation."

 

 

 

"I Also Remember That She Did Her Best To Make Me The Fool I Have Been,

And She Might Have A Little More Patience Now. The Truth Is That

Mother'S God Was Respectability, And She Will Never Forgive Me For

Destroying Her Idol."

 

 

 

"Read The Other Letters; There May Be That In them Which Will Be More

Reassuring."

 

 

 

"No, I Thank You," He Replied, Bitterly; "I Have Had All That I Can

Stand For One Day. She Believes The Infernal Lie Which That Scoundrel

Shrumpf Tells, And Gives Me No Hearing;" And He Related to Mrs. Arnot

The True Version Of The Affair.

 

 

 

She Had The Tact To See That His Present Perturbed condition Was Not Her

Opportunity, And She Soon After Left Him In a Mood That Promised little

Of Good For The Future.

 

 

 

But In the Long, Quiet Hours That Followed her Departure His Thoughts

Were Busy. However Much He Might Think That Others Were The Cause Of His

Unhappy Plight, He Had Seen That He Was Far More To Blame. It Had Been

Made Still More Clear That, Even If He Could Shift This Blame Somewhat,

He Could Not The Consequences. Mrs. Arnot'S Words Had Given Him A

Glimpse Of Light, And Had Revealed a Path, Which, Though Still Vague And

Uncertain, Promised to Lead Out Of The Present Labyrinth Of Evil. During

The Morning Hours He Had Dared to Hope, And Even To Pray, That He Might

Find A Way Of Escape From His Miserable Self And The Wretched condition

To Which It Had Brought Him.

 

 

 

For A Long Time He Turned the Leaves Of Mrs. Arnot'S Bible, And Here And

There A Text Would Flash Out Like A Light Upon The Clouded future, But

As A General Thing The Words Had Little Meaning.

 

 

 

To His Ardent And Somewhat Imaginative Nature She Had Presented the

Struggle Toward A Better Life In the Most Attractive Light. He Was Not

Asked to Do Something Which Was Vague And Mystical; He Was Not Exhorted

To Emotions And Beliefs Of Which He Was Then Incapable, Nor To Forms And

Ceremonies That Were Meaningless To Him, Nor To Professions Equally

Hollow. On The Contrary, The Evils, The Defects Of His Own Nature, Were

Given An Objective Form, And He Could Almost See Himself, Like A Knight,

With Lance In rest, Preparing To Run A Tilt Against The Personal Faults

Which Had Done Him Such Injury. The Deeper Philosophy, That His Heart

Was The Rank Soil From Which Sprang These Faults, Like Cadmus' Armed

Men, Would Come With Fuller Experience.

 

 

 

But In a Measure He Had Understood And Had Been Inspired by Mrs. Arnot'S

Thought. Although From A Weak Mother'S Indulgence And His Own, From

Wasted years And Bad Companionships, His Life Was Wellnigh Spoiled, He

Still Had Sufficient Mind To See That To Fight Down The Clamorous

Passions Of His Heart Into Subjection Would Be A Grand And Heroic Thing.

If From The Yielding Mire Of His Present Self A Noble And Granite-Like

Character Could Be Built Up, So Strongly And On Such A Sure Foundation

That It Would Stand The Shocks Of Time And Eternity, It Were Worth Every

Effort Of Which Human Nature Is Capable. Until Mrs. Arnot Had Spoken Her

Wise And Kind, Yet Honest Words, He Had Felt Himself Unable To Stand

Erect, Much Less To Enter On A Struggle Which Would Tax The Strongest.

 

 

 

But Suppose God Would Deign To Help, Suppose It Was The Divine Purpose

And Practice To Supplement The Feeble Efforts Of Those Who, Like

Himself, Sought To Ally Their Weakness To His Strength, Might Not The

Creator And The Creature, The Father And The Child, Unitedly Achieve

What It Were Hopeless To Attempt Unaided?

 

 

 

Thoughts Like These More Or Less Distinctly Had Been Thronging His Mind

During The Morning, And Though The Path Out Of His Degradation Was

Obscure And Uncertain, It Had Seemed the Only Way Of Escape. He Knew

That Mrs. Arnot Would Not Consciously Mock Him With Delusive Hopes, And

As She Spoke Her Words Seemed to Have The Ring and Echo Of Truth. When

The Courage To Attempt Better Things Was Reviving, It Was Sad That He

Should Receive The First Disheartening Blow From His Mother. Not That

She Purposed any Such Cruel Stroke; But When One Commences Wrong In life

One Is Apt To Go On Making Mischief To The End. Poor Mrs. Haldane'S

Kindness And Severity Had Always Been Ill-Timed.

 

 

 

For Some Hours, As Will Be Seen, The Contents Of The Mother'S Letter

Inspired only Resentment And Caused discouragement; But Calmer Thoughts

Explained the Letter, And Confirmed mrs. Arnot'S Words, That He Had

Given The "Gravest Provocation."

 

 

 

At The Same Time The Young Man Instinctively Felt That If He Attempted

The Knightly Effort That Mrs. Arnot Had So Earnestly Urged, His Mother

Could Not Help Him Much, And Might Be A Hindrance. Her Views Would Be So

Conventional, And She Would Be So Impatient Of Any Methods That Were Not

In Accordance With Her Ideas Of Respectability, That She Might Imperil

Everything Should He Yield To Her Guidance. If, Therefore, He Could

Obtain The Means Of Subsistence He Resolved to Remain In hillaton, Where

He Could Occasionally See Mrs. Arnot. She Had Been Able To Inspire The

Hope Of A Better Life, And She Could Best Teach Him How Such A Life Was

Possible.

 

 

 

The Next Day Circumstances Prevented mrs. Arnot From Visiting The

Prison, And Haldane Employed part Of The Time In writing To His Mother A

Letter Of Mingled reproaches And Apologies, Interspersed with Vague

Hopes And Promises Of Future Amendment, Ending, However, With The

Positive Assurance That He Would Not Leave Hillaton Unless Compelled to

Do So By Hunger.

 

 

 

To Mrs. Haldane This Letter Was Only An Aggravation Of Former

Misconduct, And A Proof Of The Unnatural And Impracticable Character Of

Her Son. The Fact That It Was Written From A Prison Was Hideous, To

Begin With. That, After All The Pains At Which She Had Been To Teach Him

What Was Right, He