Love for Her by Chalen D. (carter reed .txt) 📖

and folded his fingers down. This isn't right. My fingers folded down, so we where holding hands. No, fingers what are you doing!
"No dating." I said, cutting Alice off mid rant. "We're friends."
"Friends don't hold hands." She said, sounding smug.
"Yes they do." Jake, Ricky and I said at the same time.
"Who's hands where you holding?" She demanded.
"Oh come on." i said, making her shut up.
I can only hold my tongue for so long.
"How long are you staying?" I asked.
"Can we talk outside?" Jake asked.
"Let's go." I said, flipping the covers off and going out side.
"Okay, first I need another hug." He said, reaching for me, making me fall against him.
We sat down on the swing.
"I'm not going back. I just needed a plan to get down here."
"What about Alice?" i asked, happy I had my brother back.
"I don't know. she hurt me pretty bad with this baby thing."
"Don't you wish that you could rip out your heart and ring out all the pain sometimes?"
"Wouldn't that be nice." he laughed, without humor, and ran a hand through his hair.
"You should just tell her."
"Honesty's the best policy."
"no, distraction is, and why do you look like i gave you an idea, that will some how come back to haunt me?"
"I'll tell her the night before we go home."
"Or maybe you should just load up all of her shit and tell her your not going home?" I watched him light a smoke. "She'd have to go home, or make her parents mad, so they'd probably make her go home."
He looked at me and we smiled.
"Decisions decisions." We said.
We laughed, and Jake pulled me into yet another hug.
"I'm lucky to have you kid." He said, hugging me tightly.
"Yes. yes, you are."
We laughed, And he choked.
"Are you okay?" i laughed.
"Stop laughing, your asthma will pick up." He laughed. "See!" He continued to laugh as i choked.
"Stop laughing!" i laughed harder.
"I can't your face is red!"
"Look at yours!"
Alice came out and our laughs died.
"um. Mom wanted to know if you where hungry." She said, twirling her hands.
"Hungry?" Jake asked me.
I nodded.
"Yeah, we could go for some food."
She opened her mouth.
"I'm talking to my sister, so whatever you have to say can wait, don't mean to be a dick, that's not it, just haven't seen Andy in a while cause of you."
Jake turned back to me.
"So." he said.
Alice closed her mouth and went inside.
"That wasn't nice."
"What! you don't even like her!" he said, with a smile.
I laughed, "She's gonna be your wife."
"Not any more."
I stopped.
"That bad?" i whispered.
"Whatever your thinking worse."
"Damn."
"I'm done, big sister."
"I'm here, little brother." I said, squeezing his hand.
He held onto it tightly.
"I'm taking Alice." Mom said, going to the van with Alice and Carson.
they drove away.
"Shit! I learned some stuff I can't believe I didn't tell you!" He said giving me his smoke.
We jumped up and went inside. He picked up his guitar and turned on the amp, and began to play. I smiled. This is what I've missed the most. Our music. Him playing, me singing.
I flicked the smoke.
"Oh remember this?" He laughed.
"Yes."
"Sing with me?" he asked.
"Always."
He cleared his throat. I loved his voice.
"Roberts got a quick hand," i laughed as he made a quick movement with his hand. "He'll look around the room, he won't tell you his plans." He got up and came to me.
"You smoke?" Ricky asked.
"No!" I said, appalled shoving the smoke into Jake's hand.
"You have a lovely voice."
"Thanks." i said, looking down.
"Doesn't she? I told her a million times to go on american idol." Jake said.
I smiled at him, "I'm not that good."
He returned my smile and took a drag.
"I learned some while you where gone."
"You did?" Mat smiled.
"Yeah, just cords."
"that's a start. I can teach you more."
"Trent taught me what you taught him, from come as you are."
He put his smoke in his mouth and turned on the amp.
"Show me." He said, putting the strap around me.
I played.
"Shit you can play!" He smiled proudly.
"Damn Skippy." I nodded, giving him a high five.
they came back with the food. I ate with Ricky in his room.
"Do you remember last night?" he asked.
"yes." i said, not making eye contact.
"You where pretty wasted."
"I know."
"Do you always get like that?"
"Yes."
"Why?"
"Cause i need to get away."
"From what?"
"from me."
"tell me more."
"I don't believe in true love, I've never seen a good relationship. I flinch when someone calls me by my first name, cause i think he's coming back from the dead to hit me. He leaned on me too much, i was too little. Crying was weakness in his eyes. I don't cry. the lightest touch will wake me up cause i wouldn't sleep and he beat me, so I wake up to protect myself. I don't really believe in second chances. If i care about someone that means they can get in and hurt me."
I took a drink.
"What's your name.
"Analise." i said, the name, burning my throat.
"Analise?"
My chest tightened, my head snapped up to him and I crawled away from him.
"Andy, I didn't-"
"Please don't touch me." I whisper-begged. "I'm okay." I nodded.
"I'm sorry."
"It's okay, you didn't know."
"I knew something was going to happen though." He grabbed my hand.
"I'm okay, Please don't push this." i said, taking my hand back.
Jake came in.
"I'm eating in here."
"What happened?" i asked, as he sat down next to me.
"Mom's on Alice's side, Sit." he said, before i could get up.
I left the room.
"Andy." They called getting up.
"Your on her side? He's your son!" i turned on Alice. "You taint everyone. Your a conniving bitch, and i'd like to so beat the shit out of you right now!"
Ricky and Mat grabbed my arms.
"He loves you, and you just keep playing with his emotions. When he wanted to die, you where another reason. He has big problems, and you keep fucking with him."
They tightened their grip on my arms.
"Andy-"
" Oh I'm far from finished." i cut Mom off " I don't really like you, but I liked you for him. I knew something was off but I wasn't going to say anything."
"thank you for being honest-"
"Whatever Alice." i said, turning around, making them lose their hold on me.
I sat on the bed and picked up my food.
"I'm fine." I said.
Ricky closed the door, and Jake sat back down.
"So I'm guessing you told them?"
"Yeah. Mom said, I should go back."
I put my food down.
"You gotta be strong Jake. Remember what I told you? You gotta do what you think is right for you fuck everyone else. If your not happy, then that's no way to live."
"I remember."
"And?"
"I'm not going back."
"Good." i sagged with relief
I didn't want to lose him again.
*****
Once in my room I shut my door and took a deep breath. I looked for my book, and couldn't find it. I began to freak my secrets are in there. Ashlynn's secrets, and Trent's and Blake's. i began to tear my room apart. i picked up a shirt, and blew out some air. I picked up my book and hugged it to my chest. I put on some Music and turned to a clean page.
My head's a prison but you set me free. I don't know where to begin, I guess I'll start with thanks. I told you some secrets and You made me feel safe. This is the way real love should be.
I stopped. Did I love Ricky? sure I did but in love? I don't think so. I shook my head and closed my book. I played, stay away from my friends and closed my eyes.
"Andy? come smoke with me!" mom called.
I rolled my eyes with a smile.
"What happened?"
The middle and the back seat where taken out of the van. I sat on the back seat in the midle.
"Oh Carson's coming by to do a dump run."
As on Que Carson pulled up. Ricky got out all smiles. I smiled at his happy mood. he sat next to me and put his arm on the back of the chair.
"Hi." i said, looking back a him.
"Hey." he smiled, again.
My ex-best friends Mom pulled up.
"Oh No." I muttered, sitting back in the seat.
Beside me Ricky's eye brows pulled together.
"Oh hey, your friends over there." Mom said.
I heard the door open and close.
My Mom and my old best friend want me to get together with her brother. Uh...No?
"Hey Andy." He smiled, sitting on the middle seat.
"Hey Jordan." i said.
A silence fell. Ricky put his arm around me, and i leaned against him. This was normal. this was what i was now used to.
"I'm Ricky. The boyfriend." He said, kissing my temple.
I looked up at him and smirked, his eyes shined with amusement.
"Oh well, you got your self a good girl, Ricky." Jordan said.
"Yep, I'm one lucky son of a Bitch."
I looked up when he cussed. Ricky took my chin, tipped my head back and kissed me sweetly.
"So Andy. What are you up to?" Jordan asked.
"Cuddling with Ricky." I said, smiling up at him.
Ricky smiled, and put a lock of hair behind my hair.
"Trent, go get your sister's we're going to the park, for a barbecue."
"Sure thing Mom." he said going back inside.
I pulled my hair to one side, and Ricky reached over and grabbed a lock. He looked intently into my eyes.
"I love your hair curly, Ana."
"Ana?" I asked, eye brows raised.
"My special Nick-name." he smiled, a lop sided grin.
I took in a breath. that smile.
"Don't tell anyone, I let you call me that."
She smiled and kissed me softly.
"Enough of that kissing stuff, get up so we can get the seats in the van." Mom smiled.
I stood up. Ricky grabbed my hand and spun me around. I couldn't help but smile. He pulled me too him, and stared down at me.
"Don't look at me with those eyes." I said, reaching up to touch his face.
He smiled, and held my hand, and pushed his cheek into it.
"Why not?"
"Cause I feel like you can see into my soul."
"Maybe I can."
"You can't."
"You seem so sure." He kissed me. "Why?"
"Cause you're not running away screaming."
"I'm not going anywhere." He said, rubbing his nose against mine.
He pulled back. "I like Kissing you."
"Don't get used to it friend." i smiled.
"Friend?"
"Yep." i laughed.
"I show you friend."
He let me go and tickled me.
"Ricky!" i laughed.
He threw his head back and laughed.
"I'm glad you find me amusing."
He wrapped his arms around my waist and pressed his forehead to mine.
"I find you special, and I'm not just saying that cause of him." He jerked his head, a little in the direction of Jordan.
"Enough with the kissing!" Mom said.
I turned away from Ricky to face her.
"I thought you'd be happy to see me all love-y dove-y."
"Ricky I need your help Bro." Carson said.
"Sure thing B." Ricky kissed my shoulder twice and went to help him.
"Get in the car you