When She's Broken. by Chalen D. (13 inch ebook reader txt) 📖

now."
i handed Lee the phone.
"Hello?" Lee asked.
i went to my room, and shut the bathroom door.
i layed on the floor, and pulled my legs to my chest.
i layed there numb, staring at the wall.
after awhile the door opened, and my head was soon on Eli's leg.
i didn't pull away when he stroked my head. i was to scared and numb to move.
"did you do it?"
"no."
silent tears slipped down my face, but i was to tired to wipe them away.
"Eli?"
"yeah?"
"I'm so tired."
"you can sleep."
i closed my eyes, and fell into darkness.
when i woke up i was in my bed on Eli's chest.
i couldn't move. Not because i was scared, or numb. Because i felt safe.
i let out a shaky breath, and Eli came awake.
"you okay?"
"yeah, i'm good. i think i can really do this."
"I know you can."
"how did you know something was wrong?"
"your voice."
"what do you mean?"
"when your about to go over the edge it changes. it turns dark and empty. Dead."
"thanks, for coming. if you didn't answer i would of done it."
i sat up.
"it's going to take awhile, but you'll get it."
the phone rang.
"Hello?" i asked.
"Scarlett? it's me Blake....i was going to cut myself.... and then i thought of you,
and didn't."
"what! i'm so proud of you!"
"You are are?"
"yes."
"I wanted to do it."
"in know, you have to stay strong."
" my mom's back i gotta go."
"bye Blake."
"Bye Scarlett."
"what?" Eli asked.
"I helped him." i smiled. "he was going to cut and he thought about me and didn't do it."
"feels good doesn't it."
"yeah, it feels awesome. now i know why you do what you do. Tanks you Eli, i mean it."
"It's what i do." he said standing.
i hugged him.
he seemed to be taken odd guard for a second, then he held me.
after school he pulled my aside.
"i need you to do something for me."
"anything."
"i'm going to the cemetery. i haven't been there, since he was put in the ground. will you go with me?"
"yeah, let's go."
he had a thing or roses.
he split them in half.
he put half on Joeys grave, and the other on the grave next to joey's.
the name Kammi Donner, was written on the grave.
"who was she?"
he was on his knees.
"My girl friend. she died of cancer."
i touched his shoulder as tears came done his face.
he grabbed my hand and rubbed it with his Thumb.
we stayed quite for a second. Something i learned from Ayden.
we got into his car and drove to my house. we stayed in the car in silence.
"Thank you."
"your welcome." i said, as he laced his hand through mine.
i stared at our hands between us.
his hand was bigger than mine so it was like a little kid, curled up in the arms of a loved one.
he looked over and smiled at me.
"your the best." he said.
"your better."
we went inside.
i picked up the phone.
"Is the Scarlett?"
"yes, who's this."
"my son left me a note saying call Scarlett. he tried to kill him self he's in the hospital."
"oh my god i'm on my way."
i ran into the kitchen.
"give me your keys Lee."
"you can't drive."
"What's going on?" Eli asked.
i grabbed the keys off the table and got into the car.
Eli jumped into the car.
"What's going on?"
i started the car.
"your going to make it, your going to be okay."
"Scarlett?"
i turned off the car.
"Miss you can't park here."
i ran into the waiting area.
"Are you Scarlett?" a woman asked.
"Where is he?"
"Room 215."
i ran through the halls. i went into his room.
"He hasn't waken up." Cassie said.
Beth and Jake where pacing.
"What happened?"
"he cut to deep." Beth said, shaking her head.
"why, don't we let her be alone with him?" Jake said.
"thanks, Eli's in the Waiting room, trying to calm that lady."
"it's his mom." Cassie said.
"shit." i said.
once they where gone i sat in the chair by his bed.
i took a hold of his soft ice cold hand.
" now you've done it. why didn't you call me? You gotta pull through Blake i can't lose another person, i care for." i shook my head.
"i can't do it. come on, you gotta pull through."
i put his hand to my forehead.
"I didn't try to kill myself."
"no of course you didn't." i said, rubbing his hand.
"your crying." he said.
"i'm happy."
"i was sad."
"i know."
"i didn't try to kill myself you gotta believe me Scarlett." he said, eyes getting wide.
"i believe you with all my heart."
he relaxed.
"i was terrified. i'm sorry, i failed you."
"the only way you can fail me is if you take your life."
i Swallowed.
"why'd you do it?"
"it was just there. i..." he shook his head and held onto my hand, tightly.
Eli came in.
"I didn't try to kill myself." Blake said, right away.
"He's up!" Eli called down the hall.
Eli stood behind me and put his hands on his shoulders.
everyone came in, and the talking began.
"mom, i didn't try to kill myself. i'm getting help right now. That's Eli, my Group leader. and this is Scarlett. My reason for quitting."
i looked up at him, but he was looking at his mom.
"just rest."
everyone started to leave.
"your a good role model. stay strong." he said.
"you too," i said.
"and Scarlett?"
"yeah."
"thanks for coming."
"sure."
"and this whole your my reason for quitting thing, it isn't cause i want to date, you. you just inspired me so i don't want things to be strange around us."
"totally." i laughed.
"you should be with Eli. you both deserve someone with so much love."
"i don't hold love."
"yes you do. i can tell."
"get better okay?" i asked.
"I promise." he whispered.
i could tell the drugs where taking him under.
"good night, Blake."
i kissed his forehead, and he fell into a dark sleep.
i drove home with out saying anything.
i made plans with everyone to come over.
i tossed Lee his keys and went to my bedroom.
i shut my door and paced my room.
"he almost died." i said, Before Eli said anything.
"i can't lose anyone i care about anymore."
he took a step to me.
"especially you. don't leave me."
"i wont."
"no. you gotta promise to me Eli. please."
"i wont leave you promise."
i nodded and blew out some air.
"can i hug you?"
i nodded quickly, making my head hurt.
he pulled me into a hug.
after what happened i got trust issues. the only person i trust is Eli.
"Blake said, we should get together." i wiped my tears. "that boy is so crazy."
Eli took my shoulders and pressed his lips to mine.
the pit of my stomach knotted, Ayden's jacket Burned into my skin.
he pulled back and i covered my mouth.
"oh my god, i'm sorry."
i shook my head.
"Scarlett, i didn't mean to, okay, we're friends i was just crazy for a second cause of Blake."
i just started at him.
"are you okay?"
i nodded still covering my mouth.
"i gotta go."
he grabbed his jacket and left.
when the front door slammed i jumped.
when he left so did my hope.
i sat on the edge of the bed.
it felt nice when he kissed me. but that was wrong, Ayden was my love.
i'm just emotionally attached to Eli. Or am i just emotionally attached to Ayden?
i racked my hands through my hair. life can be so damn confusing, and not to mention that my dad was out and about. i suddenly felt cold and alone.
my door pushed open, and i felt someone sit beside me.
"i realized, that if i left you alone, i'd be breaking my promise." Eli said.
i smiled, liking the fact he couldn't see.
"wee need to talk about it."
i turned to him and nodded.
"i liked it." i said.
he nodded, in agreement.
"but i feel like i'm letting Ayden go."
he nodded again.
"but they'd want us to be happy right?"
" maybe." he said, looking at his hands.
"then why does it feel like a piece of me is slipping away?"
he shook his head hard.
"look i'm gonna be okay. you can go home and think about it."
"good idea." he patted my shoulder and left.
i dug out Ayden's journal.
'i'm alone. i feel torn apart and there's no one i can tell....
i met someone. she makes me feel again. her names Scar. i wish i could be with her, but like normal i fell for the wrong person. i do that a lot do the wrong thing. she thinks i'm strange cause i wear a leather jacket even if it's hot. i didn't tell her it was cause i was hiding old and new scars, i also keep a razor blade in the inside pocket.....
i tied a noose. today's the day, i'm going to close my eyes forever... i just slept with Scar, it was magic. i love her. i put the noose in the box under my bed. i don't need it. if i do end up doing it i want her to date someone that will make her happy. really happy, and i mean it. if she closes her eyes forever, cause of the pain, i wouldn't blame her...'
i reached into the pocket and pulled out the blade.
i picked at the dried blood.
i got his box and there it was at the top. the noose he tied.
i picked it up in my hands.
my breathing came fast. i went to the bathroom, and put the noose on the counter.
i lifted up Ayden's sleeve and brought the blade down on my clean wrist.
i wrote sorry on the mirror in blood. i rapped a towel around my wrist and picked up the noose, and left.
i stood in front of my old house. A dark place that made me feel so much pain.
the door was unlocked, and i went to Ayden's room. there was a fold up chair, in the room and nothing more.
the house had been cleaned out.
i looked out the window.
my jaw clenched as i saw Cassie, Jake, and Beth, crossing the street.
i closed and locked the door.
i went back to the window, that i had climbed out of so many times.
there where two windows, this one, and the one to the side, where his bed was.
i heard yelling but i didn't really pay attention.
"Found her!" Jake yelled pounding on the door.
"open the door!" Beth begged.
"Don't do this, we need you!" Cassie said.
i closed my eyes.
"That's it, i'm calling Eli." Beth said sounding far.
"good idea, hurry. open up Scarlett!" Cassie banged on the door.
I heard the yelling and banging on the door, as i stood by the window in the empty room.
no matter how loud the banging and yelling got i didn't open the door.
they screamed for me to open the door, and stop.
the other window slid open.
"Don't do this." my best friend said, climbing through it.
"why?" my voice sounded dead.
"this wont solve anything." he said.
"yes it will, you know it will."
"Scarlett."
i took the rock i hand in my hand and hit it on the window, making it break.
i grabbed a sliver and turned to my sanity.
"don't come to me." i said,