Shades of Love by hima (books you have to read TXT) 📖

Rachel said and dragged me out of the bed.

I let her drag me though I wanted to bury myself in the bed covers and wait for the inevitable. Rachel took me through a flight of stairs and we came to halt after series of turns. I could smell the wet grass and soil.

“Isn’t it beautiful?” she asked.

I nodded mutely. She sat me on a chair placed in the centre of garden and poured me a glass of energy drink that I always drink. She spoke about how we can spend the rest of the days; I was deaf to her chatter. She seems like a good sis but my mind is full of Ethan, his face, smile and the love we shared in my dreams.

“Do you know who Ethan is? How did I meet him?” I asked involuntarily.

She froze in the mid sentence.

“Of course he is our cousin and there he is.” She said pointing to the guy I saw before.

“He is not the Ethan I’m speaking about.” I mumbled.

“There is no other Ethan, sis. He is the only Ethan you know.” She said.

I could see she is hiding something. She twitched uncomfortably in her chair.

“Hey, Nikki. How are you feeling?” he called.

My name felt different when my Ethan called it. It’s full of love and when this one called it didn’t feel the same. I’m sure they are hiding something from me.

“If he is Ethan why do I keep seeing another person as Ethan in my dreams?” I thought out loud.

Though Rachel pretended that she didn’t hear, I’m certain she heard me.


Ethan’s mind is flogging with Nikki’s memories, her half hearted smile at Rachel’s comments, the way she tried to remember each of us, distant thoughts and her distress at the very mention of his name. He is worried about her, he promised that he would keep her safe but he doubt that he would keep the promise.

“Ah! Ethan. We have been waiting for you.” Jane said coming towards me.

“Where is she?”

“I saw her to her room probably sleeping.” He said still his mind is filled with different pictures.

It’s like a slide show being played in his mind.

“We are thinking of moving back to our home town.” Jane said.

“Did I hear you right?” Rachel came in. Jane nodded to her. “It'll be so much fun living with my sis again.” She cooed.

“Why now?” Ethan asked absent minded.

“Don’t you like to go back home?” Rachel’s clearly irritated by his brothers lack of interest.

Jane cut her off before she made some comment. “We can’t tell Nikki what we have done to her; we can’t even expect her to stay in the room for the rest of her life, one day she has to come out and that day we can’t risk someone recognizing her. To the world she is long dead, remember?” Ethan nodded. “Good and she needs to start her schooling again and I want her to lead a normal life that way she would be innocent of the secrets.”


Ethan thought Jane is right; I want her to be normal though she isn’t and I promised that I would keep her safe and happy. We have to do this.

“When do you plan to go?” Ethan asked.

“Wow!” Rachel exclaimed.

As the last rays of sun disappeared, I wound my window down and peeked out, the cool breezes brought serenity to my nerves; I put my head out the window feeling the cool breezes hit me hard on the face but it felt like someone slapping me to wake up from amnesia. Its fun playing with the wind as it rudely pushed my hand backwards and I trying to oppose it.

The air began to chill me, darks clouds raced with our car; I imagined different forms painted by the clouds in the sky, bears, monkeys, lady on a couch, men riding horses. I chuckled as I went on with my wild imaginations.
“Honey, it’s going to rain and it’s so chilly. Please rise the glass.” Mom requested.

“Mom just let her enjoy.” Ethan said.

I smiled at her and gave him an appreciative nod. I could feel him watching me all the time and replicating my expressions, I smile he smiles, and I think he thinks. I wonder what this is all about.

As I neared our home, I couldn’t avert my eyes from it. It’s tucked away from the noise of the town, everywhere I see greenery probably we are in the middle of a forest. The building is huge and modernized. Two people stood hand in hand at the Porsche, they are beautiful in every way.

“She is your elder sister Eva and her fiancé Felix.”

Rachel rushed out and embraced Eva, Felix high fived her. Ethan gave a slight smile and Eric pounded him. It felt weird they all seem to be paired up except for Ethan and me.

“Nikki…” Eva smiled and embraced me. Though she seems to be quiet happy to see me, there is some unseen coldness between us. Maybe we aren’t in good terms, I thought.

I waited until they all got settled, I don’t know which room I used before so I waited for someone to show me. Ethan saw me and walked towards me.

“I’ll show you to your room.” He said and volunteered to carry my suitcase.

My room is cozy one with a view of the forest and a small pool below. I took a liking to the room instantly.

He hovered around the room awkwardly for a few minutes, I didn’t know what to say neither did he.

“Get settled. I’ll see you again.” I nodded.

I fell on my bed hoping that at least today Ethan would return in my dreams and answer me a few questions but it seems he just abandoned me. It’s always me crying on the floor waiting for the white light to flash and show him again.


“Nikki, wake up.” I heard Mom’s voice screaming.

I buried deep into the covers to avoid her voice, I want to await few more minutes to see whether he’ll come back or not. My dream began to waver as mom’s voice grew louder, I’m sure that I am drawn back from that place. I sat on the bed pushing away the covers and walked over to the glass doors, tiny droplets of water hung over the glass, I drew something on it unaware of what I’m doing, Ethan????

When I saw that I drew his name, I knew that I'm completely occupied only by his thoughts these days; he must be really important to me, I thought.

“You’re late.”Mom said trying to make an angry face at me. I don’t think she can do that an angel like her can never be like that.

My whole family sat around the table drinking from their glasses, Carl gestured me to sit beside him. I finished my glass and started walking up the stairs eyes on the thick forest outside, I must have stumbled by the loose carpet, I fell head on to the stairs and part of the carpet moved aside revealing blood stains, I touched them tentatively and a flash of my Ethan lying on this carpet; blood dripping from his broken chin. I gasped.

Ethan is by my side in no time. “What happened? Are you hurt?” he asked staring at me. I touched the blood once again and looked at him. “Ethan… he’s here and he hurt his chin.” I muttered. Ethan stared blankly at me.

He closed his eyes for a second as if thinking what to say. He heaved me onto my feet without any word and mumbled something like “You are not well.” He took me to my room.

“Has anyone had an Idea about what happened there?” Rachel asked stomping in the living room.

“Ethan…” Mom asked. Ethan explained them what Nikki said.

“Do you think she has the power to track past from things?” Eric thought out loud.

Ethan nodded his head held down. He is clearly worried about something. “We have to be extra careful from now on, we should make sure that she doesn’t stumble on Ethan’s stuff again. One more time it happens she’ll get suspicious.” He said.

“She took away Ethan and now because of her I should lose his things too?” Eva snapped.

“Remember when we offered immortality to Ethan he refused…” Eva continued.

“Yes he did and he even refused it on his death bed.” Ethan snapped.

“May be he just meant to save her but not change her… I mean he’s opposed to the idea right.”

“Ethan knew he couldn’t make through the transition at that stage but Nikki still has hope that’s why he asked us to change her not him.”

“At least you should have tried…” Eva cried.

“You know even if there is minute chance I would try it. I’m the one who brought him home and I’m the cause for him to be adopted by our family. I love him more than anyone here.” Ethan said grimly.

Eva stomped away into her room; she knew that Ethan is right. A flash of memory passed through her mind. Ethan is holding a human boy’s hand, the human shied away as Ethan pushed him into the house. Jane shrieked at Ethan as she saw him.

“Ethan… Why did you bring him here?” She shouted at him.

The human flinched and broke from Ethan’s hands and ran away without a backward glance. We never saw him until the day when mom's purse is stolen in the mall. He must have caught the thief, he came back to return it to mom. I saw him leaving the purse on the foot door after he rang the bell; I caught him before he left. Mom and dad are really impressed by his manners and took him in.
Eva is brought back to reality when Felix shook her.


“Nikki…Are you ready to go to school?” Mom called at the top of her voice.

The carefully painted dream of Ethan began to waver as I lost concentration. I woke up irritated. It’s been a month since we moved in here but still the mystery of this my dream boy was never solved. Though I don’t remember anything from my past, I felt strong feelings towards this one person and my family says that there is none like that they knew off.

Mom walked to me with a glass of protein shake that I always drink. “Mom…It’s been a month since I had that accident. I’m really better now why can’t I eat something?”

“Are you still hungry after drinking it?” Dad asked coming towards me. “It’s not so…dad. It really gives me energy and fills my belly. It’s just I don’t remember the taste of food anymore…”I complained.

“Nikki… You know we all drink the same thing everyday…” Rach said slumping onto the couch with her protein drink.

“That is the problem you all sacrificed food for me just because you think that I can’t resist once I see you eating…”She cut me off. “We didn’t sacrifice anything… we just like it this way…”She smiled.

“You are too humble…I know how much you love me when I see the sacrifices you