The Book of the Thousand Nights and a Night, vol 15 by Sir Richard Francis Burton (classic romance novels .TXT) 📖

Eight Hundred and Thirty-fifth Night, Dunyazad said to her, “Allah upon thee, O my sister, an thou be other than sleepy, finish for us thy tale that we may cut short the watching of this our latter night!” She replied, “With love and good will!” It hath reached me, O auspicious King, the director, the right-guiding, lord of the rede which is benefiting and of deeds fair-seeming and worth celebrating, that when the father had gone forth and was making for the market-town, his son happened to meet him, and the two wives went up to the terrace wishing to see if their husband be gone or not. Now by the decree of the Decreer the man had in some carelessness forgotten his papooshes so he turned to the youth who was following him and said, “O my son, go back and bring me my shoes.” The women still looking, and the youth returned in mighty haste and hurry till he stood under the terrace, when he looked up and said, “My father hath just now charged me with a charge saying, ‘Do thou go sleep with my wives, the twain of them, and have each one of them once.’ They replied, “What, O dog, O accursed, thy father bespake thee on this wise? By Allah, indeed thou liest, O hog, O ill-omened wight.” “Wallahi,” he rejoined, “I lie not!” So he walked back till he was near his father when he shouted his loudest so as to be heard by both parties, “O my papa, O my papa, one of them or the two of them? One of them or the two of them?” The father shouted in reply, “The two, the two! Allah disappoint thee: did I say one of them or the two of them?” So the youth returned to his father’s wives and cried, “Ye have heard what my papa said. I asked him within your hearing, ‘One of them or the two of them?’ and ye heard him say, ‘Both, both.’” Now the man was speaking of his slippers, to wit, the pair; but the women understood that his saying, “the two of them” referred to his wives. So one turned to her sister spouse and said, “So it is,[FN#591] our ears heard it and the youth hath in no wise lied: let him lie with me once and once with thee even as his father bade him.” Both were satisfied herewith; but meanwhile the son stole quietly into the house and found his father’s papooshes: then he caught him up on the road and gave them to him and the man went his ways. Presently the youth returned to the house and taking one of his father’s wives lay with her and enjoyed her and she also had her joy of him; and when he had done all he wanted with her he fared forth from her to the second wife in her chamber and stretched himself beside her and toyed with her and futtered her. She saw in the son a something she had not seen in the sire, so she joyed in him and he joyed in her. Now when he had won his will of the twain and had left the house the women foregathered and began talking and saying, “By Allah, this youth hath given us both much amorous pleasure, far more than his father ever did; but when our husband shall return let us keep our secret even though he spake the words we heard: haply he may not brook too much of this thing.” So as soon as the man came back with the wheat he asked the women saying, “What befel you?”

and they answered, “O Man, art thou not ashamed to say to thy son, ‘Go sleep with both thy father’s wives?’ ‘Tis lucky that thou hast escaped.” Quoth he, “Never said I aught of this”; and quoth they, “But we heard thee cry, ‘The two of them.’” He rejoined, “Allah disappoint you: I forgot my papooshes and said to him, ‘Go fetch them.’ He cried out ‘One of them or the two of them?’ and I replied, ‘The two of them,’ meaning my shoes, not you.” “And we,” said they, “when he spake to us such words slippered him and turned him out and now he never cometh near us.” “Right well have ye done,” he rejoined, “‘tis a fulsome fellow.” This was their case; but as regards the youth, he fell to watching and dogging his father’s path, and whenever the man left the house and went afar from it he would go in to the women who rejoiced in his coming. Then he would lie with one, and when he had won his will of her he would go to the sister-wife and tumble her. This lasted for some time, until the women said each to other, “What need when he cometh to us for each to receive him separately in her room? Let us both be in one chamber and when he visiteth us let us all three, we two and he, have mutual joyance and let him pass from one to the other.” And they agreed to this condition, unknowing the decree of Allah which was preparing to punish the twain for their abandoned wantonness.—And Shahrazad was surprised by the dawn of day and fell silent and ceased to say her permitted say. Then quoth her sister Dunyazad, “How sweet is thy story, O sister mine, and how enjoyable and delectable!”

Quoth she, “And where is this compared with that I would relate to you on the coming night an the Sovran suffer me to survive?”

Now when it was the next night and that was The Eight Hundred and Thirty-sixth Night, Dunyazad said to her, “Allah upon thee, O my sister, an thou be not sleeping, finish for us thy tale that we may cut short the watching of this our latter night!” She replied, “With love and good will!” It hath reached me, O auspicious King, the director, the right-guiding, lord of the rede which is benefiting and of deeds fair-seeming and worthy celebrating, that the two women agreed to partnership in iniquity with the youth their stepson.

Now on the next day the man went forth and left his house for some pressing occasion and his son followed him till he saw him far distant: then the youth repaired to the two wives and found them both in one chamber. So he asked them, “Why doth not each of you go to her own apartment?” and they answered, “What use is there in that? Let us all be together and take our joy, we and thou.” So he lay between them and began to toy with them and tumble them; and roll over them and mount upon the bubbies of one and thence change seat to the other’s breasts and while so doing all were plunged in the sea of enjoyment.[FN#592] But they knew not what lurked for them in the hidden World of the Future.

Presently, lo and behold! the father returned and entered the house when none of them expected him or was ware of him; and he heard their play even before he went into the chamber. Here he leant against a side-wall and privily viewed their proceedings and the lewd state they were in; and he allowed time to drag on and espied them at his ease, seeing his son mount the breasts of one woman and then shift seat to the bubbies of his other wife.

After noting all this he fared quietly forth the house and sought the Wali complaining of the case; so the Chief of Police took horse and repaired with him to his home where, when the two went in, they found the three at the foulest play. The Wali arrested them one and all and carried them with elbows pinioned to his office. Here he made the youth over to the Linkman who struck his neck, and as for the two women he bade the executioner delay till nightfall and then take them and strangle them and hide their corpses underground. And lastly he commanded the public Crier go about all the city and cry;— “This be the award of high treason.” And men also relate (continued Shahrazad) the

 

STORY OF THE TWO LACK-TACTS OF CAIRO AND

DAMASCUS.[FN#593]

 

Whilome in Cairo-city there was a man famed as a Lack-tact and another in Damascus was celebrated for the like quality. Each had heard of his compeer and longed to forgather with him and sundry folk said to the Syrian, “Verily the Lack-tact of Egypt is sharper than thou and a cleverer physiognomist and more intelligent, and more penetrating, and much better company; also he excelleth thee in debate proving the superiority of his lack of tact.” Whereto the Damascene would reply, “No, by Allah, I am more tasteful in my lack of tact than yon Cairene;” but his people ceased not to bespeak him on this wise until his heart was filled full of their words; so one day of the days he cried, “By Allah, there is no help for it but I fare for Cairo and forgather with her Lack-tact.” Hereupon he journeyed from Damascus and ceased not wayfaring till he reached Cairo. The time was about set of sun and the first who met him on the road was a woman; so he asked her concerning certain of the highways of the city and she answered, “What a Lack-tact thou must be to put such a question at such an hour! Whoso entereth a strange place in the morning enquireth about its highways, but whoso entereth at eventide asketh about its caravanserai[FN#594] wherein he may night.” “Sooth thou sayest,” rejoined he, “but my lack of tact hath weakened my wits.” He then sought news of the Khans and they showed him one whereto he repaired and passed the night; and in the morning—And Shahrazad perceived the dawn of day and fell silent and ceased saying her permitted say. Then quoth her sister Dunyazad, “How sweet and tasteful is thy tale, O sister mine, and enjoyable and delectable!” Quoth she, “And where is this compared with that I would relate to you on the coming night an the Sovran suffer me to survive?” Now when it was the next night and that was

 

The Eight Hundred and Thirty-seventh Night, Dunyazad said to her, “Allah upon thee, O my sister, an thou be other than sleepy, finish for us thy tale that we may cut short the watching of this our latter night!” She replied, “With love and good will!” It hath reached me, O auspicious King, the director, the right-guiding, lord of the rede which is benefiting and of deeds fair-seeming and worthy celebrating, that the Lack-tact of Damascus passed the night in the Wak�lah and in the morning he went forth and wandered about the highways of Cairo questing her Lack-tact; and, when they informed him of his rival’s whereabouts, he forgathered with him and was received with an honorable reception and was welcomed and kindly entreated and comfortably seated that the twain might talk over the news of the world. Presently quoth the Lack-tact of Damascus to the Lack-tact of Cairo, “I would that we two test each other’s quality by playing a prank in turn; and whoso shall be preferred by the testimony of the general, he shall lord it over his rival.” The Cairene asked, “Which of us shall begin?” and the Damascene answered, “I,” whereto the other rejoined, “Do whatso thou willest.” So the Syrian went forth and hired him an ass which he drove out of the city to a neighbouring clump of Ausaj-bushes[FN#595] and other thorns whereof he cut down a donkey-load, and setting the net-full upon the beast’s back returned to the city. He then made for the B�b al-Nasr,[FN#596]

but he could not enter for