SPACE NOIR BAR by Mike Marino (top books to read txt) 📖

juice. The scarecrow cat is howling like a Ginsberg ginsu knife slicing through the night, while the lion blushes as he touches himself in an impure manner..”forgive me father for I have sinned, but hot damn it felt good! And don’t tell me you don’t diddle under your cassock you perverted Cossack!”


The lion is cowardly inwardly and outwardly, and no longer “king of the forrrressssttt” he said in a loud leering Lahr voice. “I’m a queen now and no animal is safe!” So the tin dildo, the straw pimp and the lion with tender loins began to blaze a stairway to heaven in an opium field of dreams where they were greeted by an old Chinese wizard dressed in a colorful hanfu with embroidered dragons and yes, Flying Monkeys!!! As the old Kong Fuzi confused them with more Confusion confusion handed them of them each an intricately carved pipe of curious dreams and vivid visions Dorothy realized she had come up against the gatekeeper of the Flying Monkey Dildos.

Fully loaded and Orientally disoriented they hit the road for the Warhol Wizard of Odd that lay just over yonder, at least according to the magic talking Chinese Tao dog known as Wild Blue pointing with his blue point tail to an obscenely beautiful twin towered structure glowing a brilliant pulsating emerald green, it was either Hole or Humboldt County in old California, same thing... Dorothy had managed to snag one of the flying monkey dildos for research purposes only. Gratifying self gratification or Newton’s Law of Self-Gratifying Gravity, what goes in must come out!


As they entered the compound they were taken to the Wizard of Warhol himself who promised to help them escape the clutches of the law in exchange for the Ruby Red Pumps in Dorothy’s possession, possession being 9/10ths of the law and not the kind that required an exorcism. The Tin Man Steely Dan Dildo got  a fresh load of lubrication, (batteries not included..he was a solar self charging unit, environmentally and vaginally friendly!) The Scarecrow Schizoid was given a  supply of meds for not only him, but all those others locked up inside his chaotic psychotic imagination. As for the Queen of the Forest, the Wizard gave a free sex change at the Kaitlyn Jenner Clinic and a contract for a gig as a drag queen at the Peonie and Pansy Nightclub, the hot spot for female lion impersonators, in the nearby town of Long Wang on Suc Muc Dik Avenue on the Penis Peninsula. As for Dorothy?


She was granted asylum in a space asylum on Lunatic Luna and got to keep one of the Flying Monkey Electro Dildos. In the opium field in a haze she admitted later in a Space Girl magazine interview, “I had made it with the Tin Man Dildo all night long, both of us stoned to the bone and I must say, he was cocked and locked and loaded. A flying Monkey is fine for beginners but once you’ve had a Tin Man you never go back!”

So she said her goodbyes before hitting the highway..”I love you strawman, stay on your meds or you’ll end up with hypodermic needles of fully loaded tranqs in you, and if they lose one, well they’ll have to tear you apart as it’s hard to find a hypodermic needle in a haystack!” To Lionesse now going by the name of Roar Paul, “I know you will look even better with boobs than I do! So knock ‘em dead Babe!” and as she boarded the bus she remembered her night of erotic pleasure with the tin man dildo...she smile and said, “I’ll miss you MOIST of all!” Now she was back to her old tricks...old murder habits are hard to change….


At this point Poontang came downstairs looking for me. Her bags were packed. “What’s going on? What’s happening?” She cried out. “Nothing babe. Just trying to help out the local cops with a case.” Then I turned to the Captain. “I’ll work on it when I get back from Robotia. Got a case I’m on  right now..I should wrap it up in a couple of days and will get in touch with you then.’


We shook hands and Poontang and I walked back to my room to get my bag and load up the D-25 Camper and head for Robotia. “What was that all about,” she asked in her best little girl voice with matching look of innocence on her face. “You don’t want to know” I said. As she ascended the stairs I noticed for the first time..she was wearing a new pair of shoes..a pair of ruby red pumps...I shook my heads...fuck it...I didn’t want to know. I just wanted to get to Robotia and get lucky with a bot with a body built like a brick asteroid or this Asian Eskimo in ruby reds...or which ever came first...or both!

Chapter 12 - Robotian Policia

 

I estimated our ETA to Robotia would take one galactic day from Barbarella. Not to mention at least two days to fully recover from the Soma somnambulism and Erotibot revelry we had both engaged in as a threesome while engaging one of the Charlie’s Angels tri-bots. Poontang was everything I had imagined and more. She could short circuit a bot in under ten seconds and she had me cross the finish line multiple times until my fuel tank was depleted and I could hardly walk and beat a torso in a running race. I couldn’t wait to be her Jerry Lee Lewis and bang on her Southern gospel dixieland rock n’ roll 88’s again. Hell, I wouldn’t care if  she was still  menstruating as she was last night. ...I’m  always ready  for some good old fashioned ragtime!

While visions of tampons did a fandango in my head, I realized there would be a  few hours security quarantine time we’d have to endure at the Robotian gateway asteroid, Toho 4, the so called Ellis island of Robotia, where every visitor would be required to clear customs at the mechanical hands of Toho’s crack robotic security team. Papers checked and rechecked, weapons checked and rechecked, the verified or denied.

 

If you weren’t there for drugs and eroti-bot sex ...why go? Robotia wasn’t an unpleasant experience by any stretch of the penile implant. It was a pleasure palace planet of it’s own. In fact it is more of a small mechanical enclosed dead planet long forgotten and brought back to life through the artistry of Toho engineering. Better living through chemistry. They were also responsible for the development of Atmospheric Balance for dome enclosed cities on varied planets as well as for the mechanical planets they constructed.  All alien visitors could now breathe “oxygen” that included elements of the from all the major planet atmospheric elements in a chemical compost pile called Oxy-Morons making the need and use of helmet atmospheric converters as outdated as 64 track tapes of Wayne Nuke-um.

 

The best part though wasn’t the breathing...it was the heavy breathing sex with Cyborgs, half humanoid, half mechanical females with real cycles, or sex with completely mechanized Erotibots with a circus of circuits that are the main abstract attraction extracting exacting ecstatic space bucks for a few spaced out  far out space fucks.

Robotia was broken down into designated neighborhoods...since most, not all Retropolins, are bi-sexual, Poontang  and I headed for a taste of the same sexual female dessert platter to camp it up with a good three-some romp under the covers once again. Just once I craved Poontangs poontang all to myself now that I had that first taste last night.

Robotian Toho scientists did develop some deadly Triple D Cup giant Cyborg women with mounds of  protruding flesh breasts. A 50 foot woman has to have a hungry voracious vagina with a large  opening surrounded by a  jungle of pubic hair so thick and large  you could build a raft  and sail inside her "tunnel of love" to explore the orgasmic river of no return that will take you deep inside her magic kingdom of orgasm as a full grown human dildo on a journey to the center of her moist sexual earth.





There is a euphemism in here somewhere for Jack and his Beanstalk. How Freudian is that. While Jack was whacking off his beanstalk he dreamed of a giant and a goose! In a midget version of Chinatown on Robotia you can imagine traveling in another dimension, a dimension of sight, sound and imagination. Imagine if you will a person who can stand up and give a blowjob without having to resort to knee pads? Is this the Rod Serling opening for a sex filled journey into the libidinous Twilight Zone? Wrong! Besides,  a stand up blowjob? No such thing...I don't believe it...it's impossible you say? Don't bet on it. The sexual yang to sex with a giant yin  is located at the cross hairs of the the sexual crossroads where Twilight Zone Boulevard and the Yellow Brick Road meet in a fornication of fetish and fantasy.




Never mind Gulliver, who was too gullible to have survived one hour in bed with the notorious  Neptunian midget known as the flesh and blood R2D2! She has midget pussy power with a G-Spot G-Force of Mach 10. On bottom or top she can be  the Top Gun.. It's a small world indeed....and let’s face it...less can be more!

We video’d ahead and made reservations at the Toho Motel 666 and made dinner reservations at the adjoining Ali Inn where we would begin our search for Poontangs sister, Mary Asteroid and the fabled Strip Tease Falcon. He who controls the Falcon controls all of Dystopia.

After we checked in with Toho Security and the handed over all our papers and answered anal probing questions. We were allowed to proceed to Robotia to check in at the Motel 66 and begin our quest in earnest, but first we had to make a quick stop. Poontang was down to her last Tampon….it was refill time

Chapter 13 - Sappho Strangelove

 

SNB Chapter Thirteen

The  morning after the dark night that preceded it is always a day of psychological shakes, rattles and rolls while purging the bloodshot red-eye effects of too much Soma and Arcturian Ale. It hits me with the force of a nuclear reaction splitting my mental atom, leaving me dazed and confused (I heard that line somewhere before) I feared my own reflection in a mirror on those mornings for all I ever saw staring back at me