Fin by A.R.C. (top 50 books to read .txt) 📖

hours were tensed. Standing in the middle of my block, face to face, eye to eye with Rod. I've seen his rage before so I was crazy to stand up to him. But I wasn't going to hold back any longer. And with a miracle, Rod's eyes soften just a tad bit and he backed off. He. Backed. Off. Just released a heavy sigh, stepped back and watched me for a bit. His eyes wondered around to Mark and the rest of the youth group before he rested his eyes back on me.

We held each other's gaze for a moment but it felt like hours. I finally understood that this was our way of saying good-bye-no words needed to be exchanged...then he turned back the way he walked from and his group had reluctantly followed. So he decided his path and I chose mine. Now two hours later, my stomach was fuller than it has been in a while and I was sitting by candle light with my new group, listening to jokes and stories. I looked over at Jenna and felt that connection we have been sharing. I wish we did have time because she would've been the top of my list to get more aquainted to.

I thought about that homeless man. Man, I never asked for his name because he would disappear like a ghost but I would've liked to thank him. And more importantly...God. "Would you like to say something, Collin?" Mark had asked, breaking me out of my private reverie. I sat there feeling a bit uncomfortable as all eyes were set on me. "Um, I guess all I can say is thank you. Thank you to you all for opening up to me and letting me feel welcome. Just...thank you."

Mark thought this would be a perfect moment to grab his guitar. "I just thought of a perfect song at this moment. And the words is exactly how I am feeling towards you all and myself. I would also like to say thank you to you guys. And thank you to Steve. I still feel he's with us. And whatever happens, will happen but I'm comforted because I will face it with you all that I love... (@)


(Another turning point, a fork stuck in the road
Time grabs you by the wrist, directs you where to go
So make the best of this test, and don't ask why
It's not a question, but a lesson learned in time

It's something unpredictable, but in the end it's right.
I hope you had the time of your life.

So take the photographs, and still frames in your mind
Hang it on a shelf in good health and good time
Tattoos of memories and dead skin on trial
For what it's worth it was worth all the while

It's something unpredictable, but in the end it's right.
I hope you had the time of your life.

It's something unpredictable, but in the end it's right.
I hope you had the time of your life.

It's something unpredictable, but in the end it's right.
I hope you had the time of your life.


-*Green Day "Good Riddance"

)


***********************************************


*JOSEPHINE*


There goes one bang on the door. Then two. Then a clash towards the window then more banging at the door followed by a sinister laughter, hollering and hooping. Crying and wailing. Outside the building was no different. I was drunker than I have ever been and higher than a kite on a lazy, breezy afternoon. I was feeling fine...until I seen the view from the window. Bodies beaten and killed senseless as their loved ones mourned and cried for them. Most were running for their lives, others contributing to whatever the crime was. What was really

going on out there?

And where was I? In a nice furnished condo having a private party of my own along with this gentleman I met about an hour ago while I was at Carlos's. Oh yeah, Carlos. I had found a way to wiggle myself back to him without being harmed so much. Like I knew it, he didn't have a top dollar hottie to conduct his business successfully he had the second best-but it wasn't THE

best: Muah.

That didn't stop me from getting a beat down that he thought I deserve but he took me back. He was with a client. Sharp as a machate this gentleman was. Tall, and dress to kill. Was he international? He sure dressed like he was but I wasn't sure. My attention was not only on him but the coak that was sprawled about on the table was ringing my bell.

"This is Josephine." Carlos was saying to the Machate Man. "This girl-look at her. She's like a blood hound when it comes to this top pure stuff. Can sniff it out miles away."

Carlos was laughing at his stupid joke but the Machate Man didn't say much. In fact he didn't say much at all. He just kept it disturbingly cool and calm, watching me taste the cocaine with my finger. "She can be worth your while too." Carlos was continuing to conduct business. "She's my best of the best."

"Throw her in the deal." Machate Man said in a leering low voice full of bass. He then snapped his fingers, cueing one his men to open a brief case packed neatly of cash. Cash

. My eyes weren't on the cocaine anymore. I didn't even remember my feet walking over to the brief case so quickly but I found myself kneeling to it, my hands were about to stroke the packs of cash and a .9 aimed at my temple.

"Heeey, it's ok. She's ok." Carlos said. "She's not going anywhere with the money. She knows better." He said the last part with emphasises glaring at me. I looked in his eyes and I realized that I could've begged for hard for my pitiful life and even though Carlos had taken back, that didn't erase the fact that he was still pissed at what I had done. I thought I saw his sticthes on his cheek bust a few seams loose from him thinking about the incident.

"She's a blood hound. Can't help loving what she loves."

The Machate Man reached in his suit pocket and pulled out a money clip folded with stacks of Benjamins. There was more than enough money that could've taken care of myself and Steve forever. Steve...not a day went by that I grieved for him. Replaying the very last time I seen him and talked to him. I know I looked a mess when he came by. This would've surely killed him if he can see what was going on in this room.

Carlos gladly took the money from Machate Man's hand with a smile wider than the Mississippi River. "Oooh for me?? You're too much and yet too kind. For this much you can have her." And just like, Carlos had forgotten about me, and as my myself and soul was being sold, I was living happily at the moment in a lavish condo with a mysterious man. I snorted away at the heavenly powder while I heard music playing. I smiled because music that was playing made me want to shake my ass so seductively. Oh yeah, I'll put it on him goood. Give him a nice "thank you" for his hospitality.

"Oooo! You know this music makes me want to sway my hips in all directions!" I said as I shot up and climbed myself on the table. Fine clothes, fine cocaine, the best fine wine, and my fine self showing him all that I was offering with my signature red heels. I was feeling mighty fine

.

"Oh yes. I know what you like. I know how you are..." He said in that eerie low voice. He sat on his black leather sofa, legs crossed as he watch me intently. "Have you some more. Have it all if you like..."

And I did just that.

It felt like I was in a groove. A state of hypnosis that I wasn't even trying to fight. I couldn't feel my body and senses telling me something was wrong. I wanted to forget about my senses. I didn't want to feel that loneliness and hurt anymore.

Machate Man might have been a magician too because I could've swore I was hearing a voice convincing me to give up and give in more. Like it was a last warning...(@)


(No I'm not the man I used to be lately
See you met me at an interesting time
If my past is any sign of your future
You should be warned before I let you inside

Hold on to whatever you find baby
Hold on to whatever will get you through
Hold on to whatever you find baby
I don't trust myself with loving you

I will beg my way into your garden
I will break my way out when it rains
Just to get back to the place where I started
So I can want you back all over again

Hold on to whatever you find baby
Hold on to whatever will get you through
Hold on to whatever you find baby
I don't trust myself with loving you

Who do you love?
Girl I see through, through your love
Who do you love me or the thought of me? me or the thought of me?

Hold on to whatever you find baby
Hold on to whatever will get you through
Hold on to whatever you find baby
I don't trust myself with loving you

Hold on to whatever you find baby
Hold on to whatever gets you through through
Hold on to whatever you find baby
I don't trust myself with loving you
I don't trust myself with loving you
I don't trust myself with loving you
I don't trust myself with loving you


-*John Mayer "I Don't Trust Myself With Loving You"

)


I didn't see it coming but it was like he gentely swept me off the table and then his hold on me became tighter and tighter. I felt myself grasping for air as he was cutting it off. My grip struggled to grasp his arms to stop him. But his strength...I couldn't challenge it, not even a little. And I have been held down by some of the biggest and strongest "John Does" before.

But this one, what seemed to be one person, felt like more than hundred men were putting their weight on me. I was drowning in a big, dark, hole and it was closing in. Voices were coming out of no where and they sounded like errie, raspy whispers. "What are you doing?" I asked sobbing. "Let me go...let go now!" He just stared a burning hole right through me and gave me a twisted grin at the same time.

"You've been dying Josephine Asuffering, wounded animal." His voice gotten lower with each word he said. "And I'm here to put you out of your misery."

Hands were crawling all over me like a million spiders while his reached out and was going for my chest. His finger nails grew longer till they were formed as talons. I thought I saw something but I wasn't quite sure. My voice was becoming sore from me screaming for help but it was no use. And then this shadow passed by on the wall. I think Machate Man had