somewhere on my way by Anna N. Schnieden (best ebook pdf reader android .TXT) đ
- Author: Anna N. Schnieden
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Sometimes, many times, I was thinking, âHow the hell do humans get into thoseâŠshits?â Do we understand what are we doing⊠now? Do we appropriately use the only method of human communication with responsibility?
âWe canât live without one another (me)â a lady said to me, I did not significantly know her. That was what jumped me to theâŠMars!
Everything that is full of doubts, is full of shitsâŠthat is my philosophyâŠafterâŠknowing!!!
Mr. Wise said to me once that everything happened because we made it matter and how we made it matter! If, we just stop thinking and asking ourselves âAm I sure I want to do this?â or âDo I know what am I doing?â And if it does not work, do not try to run away from problems and leave shits all overâŠespecially, if the problem is a little human.
Coming to the lover relationship, it is an amazing intense feeling that was what some people said and the feeling of deep affection?âŠsounds cool. My first face-to-face with a love story wasâŠhmmm I thinkâŠit was the love!
My year 2 in university, and âŠI was on a street in front of the building. It was an anatomy class, and we were supposed to draw human parts; I was walking likeâŠlife had never been better until something intercepted and held my eyeballs in one place where a girlâs body cameâŠdown to contact with some grass and flower plants quickly and forcefully. I thought it was for anatomy class! Before I moved my little feet speedily, I could hear someone give a long piercing cry and by the time I reached the girlâs body, the sound had turned to the word âHelpâ I was there with the girlâsâŠbody, trying to check if she was still on this earth. One side of her neck was stuck with aâŠpiece ofâŠwood; I took my socks off for the bloody and held her neck up a bitâŠhmm like doctor 101. (I could not take my t-shirt off; more screaming might have beenâŠlouder!)
I tried to stop the bleeding, but not much I could do, I did not even finish my first semester at pre-medâŠI was told later that she was in love with one of my classmates, but he was not in love with her! That day, I was in a lower mood, thinking, âReally, love made people think they could fly?â I was walking class to class with my bloody t-shirtâŠall day, just for fun, the chicks at schoolâŠloved itâŠloudly!
I called Ms. Goody and told her what I had been facing, but the girl died anyway.
âWell, sweetheart. What do you think?â Ms. Goody.
âHmmâŠdonât know. Never looked at boys. They donât look at me! Iâm still on Bob Marley version! I donât understand, why weâve to die in the process of love. Iâd have been dead long agoâŠif that is the point!â Me.
âHaaa, you donât have to! How did she live her life before him? She was too young to give away something so important, donât you think?â Ms. Goody.
âAhuh. Well, how do I know I wouldnât end up on the top ofâŠsome buildingâŠif I love someone? I donât want to jump out of a buildingâŠlike that! Donât like bushes.â Me.
âYou can jump off a cliff when you meet someone who truly loves you. That would be worth it.â Ms. Goody.
âHmmâŠwhy would I do that, if he truly loves me?â Me.
âExactly, sweetheart! You wouldnât die when youâre in love.â Ms. Goody.
âHow do I know? Men are sweet-candies, a sugar smiling. So boring actually!â Me.
âYouâll know what to do when it comes to you. I know you wonât disappoint me, and I know that when you fall down youâll find a strength to walk again.â Ms. Goody.
âHmmâŠI think, I shouldnât do love for now. I donât like jumping. But, got it Ms. Goody, love someone who loves me then. I love you.â Me.
That was my first reason about loveâŠwith againâŠI came withâŠplans, the way of knowing men were to get involved with men and it was easy for me. Men were just right on myâŠeverywhere. At the school, my class had 35 students, 5
girls and 30 boysâŠto be precise, 3 girls, 2 tomboys, 2 ladyboys, and 28 full option boys. At work (Professor Daddyâs), 14 men and 2 girls, me and a receptionist. At the job sites, there were always men.
âMr. Hardly, have you ever been in love?â Me.
âWhat the fuck do you think? Why am I here? I have a son, 6 years old.â Mr. Hardly.
âReally? Oh, why did you marry your wife?â Me.
âOh, she has a nice ass and is an excellent cook!â Mr. Hardly.
âSo, if she did not have a nice ass, would you still marry her?â Me.
âHow the fuck do I know? She has it!â Mr. Hardly.
At the time, I did not understand why asses were important, but it must have been because my boy classmates liked to talk about it. I was wondering around, tried to find out âHow do men do when it comes to girls and love?â So far, it seemed to be tits and assesâŠoh, and the kitties! I was getting worried aboutâŠmine⊠One evening, I got a chance to talk to Professor Daddy.
âWhy did you marry? Have you ever been in love?âŠor usedâŠthat before you got married?â Me.
âWhat the hell? Hey, do you know, youâre talking to an old man?â Professor Daddy.
âAnd?? What is wrong?â Me.
âGirls donât talk about an old manâs sex-life. Are you bloody chickâs head? What are all these bloody curiosities?â Professor Daddy.
âMen, love, something like that. After that girl hopped out of floor number 7, I was curious about love. Ms. Goody said love someone who loves me. And Iâll know what to do when it comes for me! It sounds too confusing a conundrum for me! By the way, the seniors call that girl, The Hopped Girl!â Me.
âAh, I see. I heard you scared the hell out of people all day! Listen, I know you think that was stupid. Many were thinking the same, but youâll never know itâs stupid or it isnât until you were in the same broken emotion. Itâs profound how someone could possibly love another that much, donât you think? Or, it was fun to you, wearing her blood all dayâŠmocking the dead?â Professor Daddy.
ââŠNo, Iâm sorry. I was playing with those chicks in the product major. Did not mean to. So, you agree with the jumped off?â Me.
âOf course not. It was sad. Hey, you know, right? You wonât fall in love only once in a lifetime? Love would come again and again until youâre sure, this is a right person.â Professor Daddy.
âAhuh, look at me. I was supposed to be a product of the love! Turn out I am a PTHD, OCD, and autistic!! How do I know which one is a right person?â Me.
âEasy, when you find out what kind of person you want to be with. But, donât be picky and biggie. You might spend the rest of your life alone!â Professor Daddy.
âAh! Donât worry! Iâm not that pretty! Get it!!! Youâre bloody smart! SoâŠyou did useâŠyourâŠbefore you marriedâŠright?â Me.
I was running as fast as I could before something knocked on my little headâŠouch! Many years later, I was told that a rich old man killed his 19-year- old wife, so I was curious about the old and the young. Moreover, my very own grandpapa, a 77 years old man who liked to sleep on the top of the motherâs cement âfence after⊠hmmm out all night with 18 years old girls⊠So, I had ⊠again, plans!
âJoshy, do you like young girls? How was itâŠyoungâŠkitty?â Me.
âYou need to go there huh? Why do you want to know? Iâm a man, have you ever noticed?â Joshy.
âJoshy, are you sure, you are a bloody surgeon? Donât see asses and tits enough? Iâm your friend. So, all of me comes with our friendship. Like, buy one get a free lunatic. We talk about girls today! So???â Me.
âOf course, if I think about sex only, young is cool. But, it wasnât always good thoughâ Joshy.
âAh, so young is good forâŠintercourse with. What do you mean? It isnât always good?â Me.
âHmmâŠwell, sometimes it wasnât going with the plan. Sometimes it was too noisy or too many games. What about you, never had older men interested in you?â Joshy.
âWell, my dead fiancĂ© was 7 years older than me. But, he wasnât oldâŠold you know. Although, I met an old once, he was old enough to be my daddy. He called me one night after we met at a partyâŠright, Moony? Yaa! And he said, âWhen I look at the moon, I see your face. When all stars are reflecting, I see your eyes, looking down at me!â So, I told him when he becomes an astronaut, I would date him. I want to see space! Havenât heard from him since!â Me.
About the noisy and the games, I was told by my other friends, who had the same noise problem.
âWell, they were young. Everything was nice! But of course, they were also immature. They didnât understand or carry on conversations.â A Canadian friend.
âWhat about theâŠemotion that is forcible than it is justified! Screaming perhaps? My Switzerland friend told me that he had to cover a girlâs mouthâŠwhile they wereâŠbedding!â Me.
âOh yes, sometimes! Like âOh, fuck meâŠ. squawking âŠâ what did she think what I was doing? Reading a bedtime story?ââ A Canadian friend.
âOk, too much of the sound of happiness isnât a happy time! Got it!â Me.
I had heard something even more interesting, how 2 people had an intimate relationship. I met a girl on my wayâŠsomewhere; she was nothing that men would say, âBeauty.â However, she was not hmmmâŠugly and she had a good career, young and sweet! Her boyfriend was nothing that an ordinary girl would dream of; so I was very curious, but never askedâŠI did not want to get beaten! However, when the relationship downed from hell to the bottom of the hell, she told me, âIâm with him because I do not think I can do any better.â I did not know what the hell that meant until the Canadian friends educated me.
âWell, some people do not feel comfortable with themselves. They donât feel confident with either their bodies or their looks. They donât have self-esteem.â A Canadian friend.
âOh, really! Wooh, hmmm, how many are they?â Me.
âOh, many of them.â A Canadian friend.
âDo they love theâŠâI donât think I can find any betterâ partner?â Me.
âI donât think so. This kind of relationship exists because some people are afraid of loneliness.â A Canadian friend.
I think that was sad and no one should look at themselves that way.
Everyone has something bright and everyone has something dark, moreover,
everyone perfectly has a quality of being attractive in a pretty or endearing wayâŠ. oh except me, I do not have either of that!
Furthermore, I met another woman who married a man she did not⊠like? She talked incompetent about himâŠlike before and afterâŠwith everyone! I thought, boyfriends or husbands were forâŠhmm intense exciting, not for barkingâŠhmmm right? I was wondering, something might have been wrong with theirâŠbrainless. It was one ofâŠthe shits I could not think ofâŠhow the marriage would
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