A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court by Mark Twain (sneezy the snowman read aloud .TXT) đ
- Author: Mark Twain
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âDefend thee, lord!âperil of life is toward!â
And she slipped down from the horse and ran a little way and stood. I looked up and saw, far off in the shade of a tree, half a dozen armed knights and their squires; and straightway there was bustle among them and tightening of saddle-girths for the mount. My pipe was ready and would have been lit, if I had not been lost in thinking about how to banish oppression from this land and restore to all its people their stolen rights and manhood without disobliging anybody. I lit up at once, and by the time I had got a good head of reserved steam on, here they came. All together, too; none of those chivalrous magnanimities which one reads so much aboutâone courtly rascal at a time, and the rest standing by to see fair play. No, they came in a body, they came with a whirr and a rush, they came like a volley from a battery; came with heads low down, plumes streaming out behind, lances advanced at a level. It was a handsome sight, a beautiful sightâfor a man up a tree. I laid my lance in rest and waited, with my heart beating, till the iron wave was just ready to break over me, then spouted a column of white smoke through the bars of my helmet. You should have seen the wave go to pieces and scatter! This was a finer sight than the other one.
But these people stopped, two or three hundred yards away, and this troubled me. My satisfaction collapsed, and fear came; I judged I was a lost man. But Sandy was radiant; and was going to be eloquentâbut I stopped her, and told her my magic had miscarried, somehow or other, and she must mount, with all despatch, and we must ride for life. No, she wouldnât. She said that my enchantment had disabled those knights; they were not riding on, because they couldnât; wait, they would drop out of their saddles presently, and we would get their horses and harness. I could not deceive such trusting simplicity, so I said it was a mistake; that when my fireworks killed at all, they killed instantly; no, the men would not die, there was something wrong about my apparatus, I couldnât tell what; but we must hurry and get away, for those people would attack us again, in a minute. Sandy laughed, and said:
âLack-a-day, sir, they be not of that breed! Sir Launcelot will give battle to dragons, and will abide by them, and will assail them again, and yet again, and still again, until he do conquer and destroy them; and so likewise will Sir Pellinore and Sir Aglovale and Sir Carados, and mayhap others, but there be none else that will venture it, let the idle say what the idle will. And, la, as to yonder base rufflers, think ye they have not their fill, but yet desire more?â
âWell, then, what are they waiting for? Why donât they leave? Nobodyâs hindering. Good land, Iâm willing to let bygones be bygones, Iâm sure.â
âLeave, is it? Oh, give thyself easement as to that. They dream not of it, no, not they. They wait to yield them.â
âComeâreally, is that âsoothââas you people say? If they want to, why donât they?â
âIt would like them much; but an ye wot how dragons are esteemed, ye would not hold them blamable. They fear to come.â
âWell, then, suppose I go to them instead, andââ
âAh, wit ye well they would not abide your coming. I will go.â
And she did. She was a handy person to have along on a raid. I would have considered this a doubtful errand, myself. I presently saw the knights riding away, and Sandy coming back. That was a relief. I judged she had somehow failed to get the first inningsâI mean in the conversation; otherwise the interview wouldnât have been so short. But it turned out that she had managed the business well; in fact, admirably. She said that when she told those people I was The Boss, it hit them where they lived: "smote them sore with fear and dreadâ was her word; and then they were ready to put up with anything she might require. So she swore them to appear at Arthurâs court within two days and yield them, with horse and harness, and be my knights henceforth, and subject to my command. How much better she managed that thing than I should have done it myself! She was a daisy.
SANDYâS TALE
âAnd so Iâm proprietor of some knights,â said I, as we rode off. âWho would ever have supposed that I should live to list up assets of that sort. I shanât know what to do with them; unless I raffle them off. How many of them are there, Sandy?â
âSeven, please you, sir, and their squires.â
âIt is a good haul. Who are they? Where do they hang out?â
âWhere do they hang out?â
âYes, where do they live?â
âAh, I understood thee not. That will I tell eftsoons.â Then she said musingly, and softly, turning the words daintily over her tongue: "Hang they outâhang they outâwhere hangâwhere do they hang out; eh, right so; where do they hang out. Of a truth the phrase hath a fair and winsome grace, and is prettily worded withal. I will repeat it anon and anon in mine idlesse, whereby I may peradventure learn it. Where do they hang out. Even so! already it falleth trippingly from my tongue, and forasmuch asââ
âDonât forget the cowboys, Sandy.â
âCowboys?â
âYes; the knights, you know: You were going to tell me about them. A while back, you remember. Figuratively speaking, gameâs called.â
âGameââ
âYes, yes, yes! Go to the bat. I mean, get to work on your statistics, and donât burn so much kindling getting your fire started. Tell me about the knights.â
âI will well, and lightly will begin. So they two departed and rode into a great forest. Andââ
âGreat Scott!â
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