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Read books online Ā» Fiction Ā» A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court by Mark Twain (sneezy the snowman read aloud .TXT) šŸ“–

Book online Ā«A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court by Mark Twain (sneezy the snowman read aloud .TXT) šŸ“–Ā». Author Mark Twain



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vocabulary is too limited, and so, by consequence, descriptions suffer in the matter of variety; they run too much to level Saharas of fact, and not enough to picturesque detail; this throws about them a certain air of the monotonous; in fact the fights are all alike:  a couple of people come together with great randomā€”random is a good word, and so is exegesis, for that matter, and so is holocaust, and defalcation, and usufruct and a hundred others, but land! a body ought to discriminateā€”they come together with great random, and a spear is brast, and one party brake his shield and the other one goes down, horse and man, over his horse-tail and brake his neck, and then the next candidate comes randoming in, and brast his spear, and the other man brast his shield, and down he goes, horse and man, over his horse-tail, and brake his neck, and then thereā€™s another elected, and another and another and still another, till the material is all used up; and when you come to figure up results, you canā€™t tell one fight from another, nor who whipped; and as a picture , of living, raging, roaring battle, sho! why, itā€™s pale and noiselessā€”just ghosts scuffling in a fog. Dear me, what would this barren vocabulary get out of the mightiest spectacle?ā€”the burning of Rome in Neroā€™s time, for instance? Why, it would merely say, ā€˜Town burned down; no insurance; boy brast a window, fireman brake his neck!ā€™  Why, that ainā€™t a picture!ā€





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It was a good deal of a lecture, I thought, but it didnā€™t disturb Sandy, didnā€™t turn a feather; her steam soared steadily up again, the minute I took off the lid:

ā€œThen Sir Marhaus turned his horse and rode toward Gawaine with his spear.  And when Sir Gawaine saw that, he dressed his shield, and they aventred their spears, and they came together with all the might of their horses, that either knight smote other so hard in the midst of their shields, but Sir Gawaineā€™s spear brakeā€”ā€

ā€œI knew it would.ā€

ā€”ā€œbut Sir Marhausā€™s spear held; and therewith Sir Gawaine and his horse rushed down to the earthā€”ā€

ā€œJust soā€”and brake his back.ā€

ā€”ā€œand lightly Sir Gawaine rose upon his feet and pulled out his sword, and dressed him toward Sir Marhaus on foot, and therewith either came unto other eagerly, and smote together with their swords, that their shields flew in cantels, and they bruised their helms and their hauberks, and wounded either other.  But Sir Gawaine, fro it passed nine of the clock, waxed by the space of three hours ever stronger and stronger and thrice his might was increased. All this espied Sir Marhaus, and had great wonder how his might increased, and so they wounded other passing sore; and then when it was come noonā€”ā€

The pelting sing-song of it carried me forward to scenes and sounds of my boyhood days:

ā€œN-e-e-ew Haven! ten minutes for refreshmentsā€”knductrā€™ll strike the gong-bell two minutes before train leavesā€”passengers for the Shore-line please take seats in the rear kā€™yar, this kā€™yar donā€™t go no furderā€”ahh -pls, aw -rnjz, b'nan ners, s-a-n-dā€™ches, pā€”op-corn!ā€

ā€”ā€œand waxed past noon and drew toward evensong.  Sir Gawaineā€™s strength feebled and waxed passing faint, that unnethes he might dure any longer, and Sir Marhaus was then bigger and biggerā€”ā€

ā€œWhich strained his armor, of course; and yet little would one of these people mind a small thing like that.ā€

ā€”ā€œand so, Sir Knight, said Sir Marhaus, I have well felt that ye are a passing good knight, and a marvelous man of might as ever I felt any, while it lasteth, and our quarrels are not great, and therefore it were a pity to do you hurt, for I feel you are passing feeble.  Ah, said Sir Gawaine, gentle knight, ye say the word that I should say.  And therewith they took off their helms and either kissed other, and there they swore together either to love other as brethrenā€”ā€

But I lost the thread there, and dozed off to slumber, thinking about what a pity it was that men with such superb strengthā€”strength enabling them to stand up cased in cruelly burdensome iron and drenched with perspiration, and hack and batter and bang each other for six hours on a stretchā€”should not have been born at a time when they could put it to some useful purpose.  Take a jackass, for instance:  a jackass has that kind of strength, and puts it to a useful purpose, and is valuable to this world because he is a jackass; but a nobleman is not valuable because he is a jackass.  It is a mixture that is always ineffectual, and should never have been attempted in the first place.  And yet, once you start a mistake, the trouble is done and you never know what is going to come of it.

When I came to myself again and began to listen, I perceived that I had lost another chapter, and that Alisande had wandered a long way off with her people.

ā€œAnd so they rode and came into a deep valley full of stones, and thereby they saw a fair stream of water; above thereby was the head of the stream, a fair fountain, and three damsels sitting thereby. In this country, said Sir Marhaus, came never knight since it was christened, but he found strange adventuresā€”ā€

ā€œThis is not good form, Alisande.  Sir Marhaus the kingā€™s son of Ireland talks like all the rest; you ought to give him a brogue, or at least a characteristic expletive; by this means one would recognize him as soon as he spoke, without his ever being named. It is a common literary device with the great authors.  You should make him say, ā€˜In this country, be jabers, came never knight since it was christened, but he found strange adventures, be jabers.ā€™ You see how much better that sounds.ā€

ā€”ā€œcame never knight but he found strange adventures, be jabers. Of a truth it doth indeed, fair lord, albeit ā€™tis passing hard to say, though peradventure that will not tarry but better speed with usage.  And then they rode to the damsels, and either saluted other, and the eldest had a garland of gold about her head, and she was threescore winter of age or moreā€”ā€

ā€œThe damsel was?ā€

ā€œEven so, dear lordā€”and her hair was white under the garlandā€”ā€

ā€œCelluloid teeth, nine dollars a set, as like as notā€”the loose-fit kind, that go up and down like a portcullis when you eat, and fall out when you laugh.ā€

ā€œThe second damsel was of thirty winter of age, with a circlet of gold about her head.  The third damsel was but fifteen year of ageā€”ā€

Billows of thought came rolling over my soul, and the voice faded out of my hearing!

Fifteen!  Breakā€”my heart! oh, my lost darling!  Just her age who was so gentle, and lovely, and all the world to me, and whom I shall never see again!  How the thought of her carries me back over wide seas of memory to a vague dim time, a happy time, so many, many centuries hence, when I used

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