A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court by Mark Twain (sneezy the snowman read aloud .TXT) 📖

It was a good deal of a lecture, I thought, but it didn’t disturb Sandy, didn’t turn a feather; her steam soared steadily up again, the minute I took off the lid:

“Then Sir Marhaus turned his horse and rode toward Gawaine with his spear.  And when Sir Gawaine saw that, he dressed his shield, and they aventred their spears, and they came together with all the might of their horses, that either knight smote other so hard in the midst of their shields, but Sir Gawaine’s spear brake—”

“I knew it would.”

—“but Sir Marhaus’s spear held; and therewith Sir Gawaine and his horse rushed down to the earth—”

“Just so—and brake his back.”

—“and lightly Sir Gawaine rose upon his feet and pulled out his sword, and dressed him toward Sir Marhaus on foot, and therewith either came unto other eagerly, and smote together with their swords, that their shields flew in cantels, and they bruised their helms and their hauberks, and wounded either other.  But Sir Gawaine, fro it passed nine of the clock, waxed by the space of three hours ever stronger and stronger and thrice his might was increased. All this espied Sir Marhaus, and had great wonder how his might increased, and so they wounded other passing sore; and then when it was come noon—”

The pelting sing-song of it carried me forward to scenes and sounds of my boyhood days:

“N-e-e-ew Haven! ten minutes for refreshments—knductr’ll strike the gong-bell two minutes before train leaves—passengers for the Shore-line please take seats in the rear k’yar, this k’yar don’t go no furder—ahh -pls, aw -rnjz, b'nan ners, s-a-n-d’ches, p—op-corn!”

—“and waxed past noon and drew toward evensong.  Sir Gawaine’s strength feebled and waxed passing faint, that unnethes he might dure any longer, and Sir Marhaus was then bigger and bigger—”

“Which strained his armor, of course; and yet little would one of these people mind a small thing like that.”

—“and so, Sir Knight, said Sir Marhaus, I have well felt that ye are a passing good knight, and a marvelous man of might as ever I felt any, while it lasteth, and our quarrels are not great, and therefore it were a pity to do you hurt, for I feel you are passing feeble.  Ah, said Sir Gawaine, gentle knight, ye say the word that I should say.  And therewith they took off their helms and either kissed other, and there they swore together either to love other as brethren—”

But I lost the thread there, and dozed off to slumber, thinking about what a pity it was that men with such superb strength—strength enabling them to stand up cased in cruelly burdensome iron and drenched with perspiration, and hack and batter and bang each other for six hours on a stretch—should not have been born at a time when they could put it to some useful purpose.  Take a jackass, for instance:  a jackass has that kind of strength, and puts it to a useful purpose, and is valuable to this world because he is a jackass; but a nobleman is not valuable because he is a jackass.  It is a mixture that is always ineffectual, and should never have been attempted in the first place.  And yet, once you start a mistake, the trouble is done and you never know what is going to come of it.

When I came to myself again and began to listen, I perceived that I had lost another chapter, and that Alisande had wandered a long way off with her people.

“And so they rode and came into a deep valley full of stones, and thereby they saw a fair stream of water; above thereby was the head of the stream, a fair fountain, and three damsels sitting thereby. In this country, said Sir Marhaus, came never knight since it was christened, but he found strange adventures—”

“This is not good form, Alisande.  Sir Marhaus the king’s son of Ireland talks like all the rest; you ought to give him a brogue, or at least a characteristic expletive; by this means one would recognize him as soon as he spoke, without his ever being named. It is a common literary device with the great authors.  You should make him say, ‘In this country, be jabers, came never knight since it was christened, but he found strange adventures, be jabers.’ You see how much better that sounds.”

—“came never knight but he found strange adventures, be jabers. Of a truth it doth indeed, fair lord, albeit ’tis passing hard to say, though peradventure that will not tarry but better speed with usage.  And then they rode to the damsels, and either saluted other, and the eldest had a garland of gold about her head, and she was threescore winter of age or more—”

“The damsel was?”

“Even so, dear lord—and her hair was white under the garland—”

“Celluloid teeth, nine dollars a set, as like as not—the loose-fit kind, that go up and down like a portcullis when you eat, and fall out when you laugh.”

“The second damsel was of thirty winter of age, with a circlet of gold about her head.  The third damsel was but fifteen year of age—”

Billows of thought came rolling over my soul, and the voice faded out of my hearing!

Fifteen!  Break—my heart! oh, my lost darling!  Just her age who was so gentle, and lovely, and all the world to me, and whom I shall never see again!  How the thought of her carries me back over wide seas of memory to a vague dim time, a happy time, so many, many centuries hence, when I used