The Brothers Karamazov by Fyodor Dostoyevsky (best e book reader for android txt) đź“–
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opened the envelope. In it was a letter to him, signed by Lise, the
young daughter of Madame Hohlakov, who had laughed at him before the
elder in the morning.
“Alexey Fyodorovitch,” she wrote, “I am writing to you without
anyone’s knowledge, even mamma’s, and I know how wrong it is. But I
cannot live without telling you the feeling that has sprung up in my
heart, and this no one but us two must know for a time. But how am I
to say what I want so much to tell you? Paper, they say, does not
blush, but I assure you it’s not true and that it’s blushing just as I
am now, all over. Dear Alyosha, I love you, I’ve loved you from my
childhood, since our Moscow days, when you were very different from
what you are now, and I shall love you all my life. My heart has
chosen you, to unite our lives, and pass them together till our old
age. Of course, on condition that you will leave the monastery. As for
our age we will wait for the time fixed by the law. By that time I
shall certainly be quite strong, I shall be walking and dancing. There
can be no doubt of that.
“You see how I’ve thought of everything. There’s only one thing
I can’t imagine: what you’ll think of me when you read this. I’m
always laughing and being naughty. I made you angry this morning,
but I assure you before I took up my pen, I prayed before the Image of
the Mother of God, and now I’m praying, and almost crying.
“My secret is in your hands. When you come to-morrow, I don’t know
how I shall look at you. Ah, Alexey Fyodorovitch, what if I can’t
restrain myself like a silly and laugh when I look at you as I did
to-day. You’ll think I’m a nasty girl making fun of you, and you won’t
believe my letter. And so I beg you, dear one, if you’ve any pity
for me, when you come to-morrow, don’t look me straight in the face,
for if I meet your eyes, it will be sure to make me laugh,
especially as you’ll be in that long gown. I feel cold all over when I
think of it, so when you come, don’t look at me at all for a time,
look at mamma or at the window….
“Here I’ve written you a love-letter. Oh, dear, what have I
done? Alyosha, don’t despise me, and if I’ve done something very
horrid and wounded you, forgive me. Now the secret of my reputation,
ruined perhaps for ever, is in your hands.
“I shall certainly cry to-day. Goodbye till our meeting, our
awful meeting.- Lise.
“P.S.- Alyosha! You must, must, must come!- Lise.
Alyosha read the note in amazement, read it through twice, thought
a little, and suddenly laughed a soft, sweet laugh. He started. That
laugh seemed to him sinful. But a minute later he laughed again just
as softly and happily. He slowly replaced the note in the envelope,
crossed himself and lay down. The agitation in his heart passed at
once. “God, have mercy upon all of them, have all these unhappy and
turbulent souls in Thy keeping, and set them in the right path. All
ways are Thine. Save them according to Thy wisdom. Thou art love. Thou
wilt send joy to all!” Alyosha murmured, crossing himself, and falling
into peaceful sleep.
Lacerations
Father Ferapont
ALYOSHA was roused early, before daybreak. Father Zossima woke
up feeling very weak, though he wanted to get out of bed and sit up in
a chair. His mind was quite clear; his face looked very tired, yet
bright and almost joyful. It wore an expression of gaiety, kindness
and cordiality. “Maybe I shall not live through the coming day,” he
said to Alyosha. Then he desired to confess and take the sacrament
at once. He always confessed to Father Paissy. After taking the
communion, the service of extreme unction followed. The monks
assembled and the cell was gradually filled up by the inmates of the
hermitage. Meantime it was daylight. People began coming from the
monastery. After the service was over the elder desired to kiss and
take leave of everyone. As the cell was so small the earlier
visitors withdrew to make room for others. Alyosha stood beside the
elder, who was seated again in his armchair. He talked as much as
he could. Though his voice was weak, it was fairly steady.
“I’ve been teaching you so many years, and therefore I’ve been
talking aloud so many years, that I’ve got into the habit of
talking, and so much so that it’s almost more difficult for me to hold
my tongue than to talk, even now, in spite of my weakness, dear
Fathers and brothers,” he jested, looking with emotion at the group
round him.
Alyosha remembered afterwards something of what he said to them.
But though he spoke out distinctly and his voice was fairly steady,
his speech was somewhat disconnected. He spoke of many things, he
seemed anxious before the moment of death to say everything he had not
said in his life, and not simply for the sake of instructing them, but
as though thirsting to share with all men and all creation his joy and
ecstasy, and once more in his life to open his whole heart.
“Love one another, Fathers,” said Father Zossima, as far as
Alyosha could remember afterwards. “Love God’s people. Because we have
come here and shut ourselves within these walls, we are no holier than
those that are outside, but on the contrary, from the very fact of
coming here, each of us has confessed to himself that he is worse than
others, than all men on earth…. And the longer the monk lives in his
seclusion, the more keenly he must recognise that. Else he would
have had no reason to come here. When he realises that he is not
only worse than others, but that he is responsible to all men for
all and everything, for all human sins, national and individual,
only then the aim of our seclusion is attained. For know, dear ones,
that every one of us is undoubtedly responsible for all men-and
everything on earth, not merely through the general sinfulness of
creation, but each one personally for all mankind and every individual
man. This knowledge is the crown of life for the monk and for every
man. For monks are not a special sort of men, but only what all men
ought to be. Only through that knowledge, our heart grows soft with
infinite, universal, inexhaustible love. Then every one of you will
have the power to win over the whole world by love and to wash away
the sins of the world with your tears….Each of you keep watch over
your heart and confess your sins to yourself unceasingly. Be not
afraid of your sins, even when perceiving them, if only there be
penitence, but make no conditions with God. Again, I say, be not
proud. Be proud neither to the little nor to the great. Hate not those
who reject you, who insult you, who abuse and slander you. Hate not
the atheists, the teachers of evil, the materialists-and I mean not
only the good ones-for there are many good ones among them,
especially in our day-hate not even the wicked ones. Remember them in
your prayers thus: Save, O Lord, all those who have none to pray for
them, save too all those who will not pray. And add: it is not in
pride that I make this prayer, O Lord, for I am lower than all men….
Love God’s people, let not strangers draw away the flock, for if you
slumber in your slothfulness and disdainful pride, or worse still,
in covetousness, they will come from all sides and draw away your
flock. Expound the Gospel to the people unceasingly… be not
extortionate…. Do not love gold and silver, do not hoard them….
Have faith. Cling to the banner and raise it on high.”
But the elder spoke more disconnectedly than Alyosha reported
his words afterwards. Sometimes he broke off altogether, as though
to take breath and recover his strength, but he was in a sort of
ecstasy. They heard him with emotion, though many wondered at his
words and found them obscure…. Afterwards all remembered those
words.
When Alyosha happened for a moment to leave the cell, he was
struck by the general excitement and suspense in the monks who were
crowding about it. This anticipation showed itself in some by anxiety,
in others by devout solemnity. All were expecting that some marvel
would happen immediately after the elder’s death. Their suspense
was, from one point of view, almost frivolous, but even the most
austere of the monks were affected by it. Father Paissy’s face
looked the gravest of all.
Alyosha was mysteriously summoned by a monk to see Rakitin, who
had arrived from town with a singular letter for him from Madame
Hohlakov. In it she informed Alyosha of a strange and very opportune
incident. It appeared that among the women who had come on the
previous day to receive Father Zossima’s blessing, there had been an
old woman from the town, a sergeant’s widow, called Prohorovna. She
had inquired whether she might pray for the rest of the soul of her
son, Vassenka, who had gone to Irkutsk, and had sent her no news for
over a year. To which Father Zossima had answered sternly,
forbidding her to do so, and saying that to pray for the living as
though they were dead was a kind of sorcery. He afterwards forgave her
on account of her ignorance, and added, “as though reading the book of
the future” (this was Madame Hohlakov’s expression), words of comfort:
“that her son Vassya was certainly alive and he would either come
himself very shortly or send a letter, and that she was to go home and
expect him.” And “Would you believe it?” exclaimed Madame Hohlakov
enthusiastically, “the prophecy has been fulfilled literally indeed,
and more than that.” Scarcely had the old woman reached home when they
gave her a letter from Siberia which had been awaiting her. But that
was not all; in the letter written on the road from Ekaterinenburg,
Vassya informed his mother that he was returning to Russia with an
official, and that three weeks after her receiving the letter he hoped
“to embrace his mother.”
Madame Hohlakov warmly entreated Alyosha to report this new
“miracle of prediction” to the Superior and all the brotherhood. “All,
all, ought to know of it” she concluded. The letter had been written
in haste, the excitement of the writer was apparent in every line of
it. But Alyosha had no need to tell the monks, for all knew of it
already. Rakitin had commissioned the monk who brought his message “to
inform most respectfully his reverence Father Paissy, that he,
Rakitin, has a matter to speak of with him, of such gravity that he
dare not defer it for a moment, and humbly begs forgiveness for his
presumption.” As the monk had given the message to Father Paissy,
before that to Alyosha, the latter found after reading the letter,
there was nothing left for him to do but to hand it to Father Paissy
in confirmation of the story.
And even that austere and cautious man, though he frowned as he
read the news of the “miracle,” could not completely restrain some
inner emotion. His eyes gleamed, and a grave and solemn smile came
into his lips.
“We shall see greater things!” broke from him.
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