The Brothers Karamazov by Fyodor Dostoyevsky (best e book reader for android txt) 📖

Both Together

ALYOSHA left his father’s house feeling even more exhausted and

dejected in spirit than when he had entered it. His mind too seemed

shattered and unhinged, while he felt that he was afraid to put

together the disjointed fragments and form a general idea from all the

agonising and conflicting experiences of the day. He felt something

bordering upon despair, which he had never known till then. Towering

like a mountain above all the rest stood the fatal, insoluble

question: How would things end between his father and his brother

Dmitri with this terrible woman? Now he had himself been a witness

of it, he had been present and seen them face to face. Yet only his

brother Dmitri could be made unhappy, terribly, completely unhappy:

there was trouble awaiting him. It appeared too that there were

other people concerned, far more so than Alyosha could have supposed

before. There was something positively mysterious in it, too. Ivan had

made a step towards him, which was what Alyosha had been long

desiring. Yet now he felt for some reason that he was frightened at

it. And these women? Strange to say, that morning he had set out for

Katerina Ivanovna’s in the greatest embarrassment; now he felt nothing

of the kind. On the contrary, he was hastening there as though

expecting to find guidance from her. Yet to give her this message

was obviously more difficult than before. The matter of the three

thousand was decided irrevocably, and Dmitri, feeling himself

dishonoured and losing his last hope, might sink to any depth. He had,

moreover, told him to describe to Katerina Ivanovna the scene which

had just taken place with his father.

It was by now seven o’clock, and it was getting dark as Alyosha

entered the very spacious and convenient house in the High Street

occupied by Katerina Ivanovna. Alyosha knew that she lived with two

aunts. One of them, a woman of little education, was that aunt of

her half-sister Agafya Ivanovna who had looked after her in her

father’s house when she came from boarding-school. The other aunt

was a Moscow lady of style and consequence, though in straitened

circumstances. It was said that they both gave way in everything to

Katerina Ivanovna, and that she only kept them with her as

chaperons. Katerina Ivanovna herself gave way to no one but her

benefactress, the general’s widow, who had been kept by illness in

Moscow, and to whom she was obliged to write twice a week a full

account of all her doings.

When Alyosha entered the hall and asked the maid who opened the

door to him to take his name up, it was evident that they were already

aware of his arrival. Possibly he had been noticed from the window. At

least, Alyosha heard a noise, caught the sound of flying footsteps and

rustling skirts. Two or three women, perhaps, had run out of the room.

Alyosha thought it strange that his arrival should cause such

excitement. He was conducted, however, to the drawing-room at once. It

was a large room, elegantly and amply furnished, not at all in

provincial style. There were many sofas, lounges, settees, big and

little tables. There were pictures on the walls, vases and lamps on

the tables, masses of flowers, and even an aquarium in the window.

It was twilight and rather dark. Alyosha made out a silk mantle thrown

down on the sofa, where people had evidently just been sitting; and on

a table in front of the sofa were two unfinished cups of chocolate,

cakes, a glass saucer with blue raisins, and another with

sweetmeats. Alyosha saw that he had interrupted visitors, and frowned.

But at that instant the portiere was raised, and with rapid,

hurrying footsteps Katerina Ivanovna came in, holding out both hands

to Alyosha with a radiant smile of delight. At the same instant a

servant brought in two lighted candles and set them on the table.

“Thank God! At last you have come too! I’ve been simply praying

for you all day! Sit down.”

Alyosha had been struck by Katerina Ivanovna’s beauty when,

three weeks before, Dmitri had first brought him, at Katerina

Ivanovna’s special request, to be introduced to her. There had been no

conversation between them at that interview, however. Supposing

Alyosha to be very shy, Katerina Ivanovna had talked all the time to

Dmitri to spare him. Alyosha had been silent, but he had seen a

great deal very clearly. He was struck by the imperiousness, proud

ease, and self-confidence of the haughty girl. And all that was

certain, Alyosha felt that he was not exaggerating it. He thought

her great glowing black eyes were very fine, especially with her pale,

even rather sallow, longish face. But in those eyes and in the lines

of her exquisite lips there was something with which his brother might

well be passionately in love, but which perhaps could not be loved for

long. He expressed this thought almost plainly to Dmitri when, after

the visit, his brother besought and insisted that he should not

conceal his impressions on seeing his betrothed.

“You’ll be happy with her, but perhaps not tranquilly happy.”

“Quite so, brother. Such people remain always the same. They don’t

yield to fate. So you think I shan’t love her for ever.”

“No; perhaps you will love her for ever. But perhaps you won’t

always be happy with her.”

Alyosha had given his opinion at the time, blushing, and angry

with himself for having yielded to his brother’s entreaties and put

such “foolish” ideas into words. For his opinion had struck him as

awfully foolish immediately after he had uttered it. He felt ashamed

too of having given so confident an opinion about a woman. It was with

the more amazement that he felt now, at the first glance at Katerina

Ivanovna as she ran in to him, that he had perhaps been utterly

mistaken. This time her face was beaming with spontaneous good-natured

kindliness, and direct warm-hearted sincerity. The “pride and

haughtiness,” which had struck Alyosha so much before, was only

betrayed now in a frank, generous energy and a sort of bright,

strong faith in herself. Alyosha realised at the first glance, at

the first word, that all the tragedy of her position in relation to

the man she loved so dearly was no secret to her; that she perhaps

already knew everything, positively everything. And yet, in spite of

that, there was such brightness in her face,