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*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK CARICATURIST *** Produced by Juliet Sutherland, Janet Blenkinship and the Online Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net
AN ARTISTIC JOKE.
A London Slum. My Parody of the Venetian School.

View larger image THE CONFESSIONS OF A CARICATURIST BY HARRY FURNISS ILLUSTRATED VOLUME II

NEW YORK AND LONDON:
HARPER & BROTHERS, PUBLISHERS.
1902.

BRADBURY, AGNEW, & CO. LD., PRINTERS,
LONDON AND TONBRIDGE.

All rights reserved.
December, 1901.

CONTENTS.
  Page CHAPTER VIII.

THE ARTISTIC JOKE.   The First Idea--How it was Made--"Fire!"--I am a Somnambulist--My Workshop--My Business "Partner"--Not by Gainsborough--Lord Leighton--The Private View--The Catalogue--Sold Out--How the R.A.'s Took It--How a Critic Took It--Curious Offers--Mr. Sambourne as a Company Promoter--A One-man Show--Punch's Mistake--A Joke within a Joke--My Offer to the Nation pp. 1--25 CHAPTER IX.

CONFESSIONS OF A COLUMBUS.   The Cause of my Cruise--No Work--The Atlantic Greyhound--Irish Ship--Irish Doctor--Irish Visitors--Queenstown--A Surprise--Fiddles--Edward Lloyd--Lib--Chess--The Syren--The American Pilot--Real and Ideal--Red Tape--Bribery--Liberty--The Floating Flower Show--The Bouquet--A Bath and a Bishop--"Beastly Healthy"--Entertainment for Shipwrecked Sailors--Passengers--Superstition.   America in a Hurry--Harry Columbus Furniss--The Inky Inquisition--First Impressions--Trilby--Tempting Offers--Kidnapped--Major Pond--Sarony--Ice--James B. Brown--Fire!--An Explanation.   Washington--Mr. French of Nowhere--Sold--Interviewed--The Sporting Editor--Hot Stuff--The Capitol--Congress--House of Representatives--The Page Boys--The Agent--Filibuster--The "Reccard"--A Pandemonium--Interviewing the President.   Chicago--The Windy City--Blowers--Niagara--Water and Wood--Darkness to Light--My Vis-ďż˝-Vis--Mr. Punch--My Driver--It Grows upon Me--Inspiration--Harnessing Niagara--The Three Sisters--Incline Railway--Captain Webb.   Travelling--Tickets--Thirst--Sancho Panza--Proclaimed States--"The Amurrican Gurl"--A Lady Interviewer--The English Girl--A Hair Restorer--Twelfth Night Club Reception at a Ladies' Club--The Great Presidential Election--Sound Money v. Free Silver--Slumland--Detective O'Flaherty. pp. 26--130 CHAPTER X.

AUSTRALIA.   Quarantined--The Receiver-General of Australia--An Australian Guide-book--A Death Trap--A Death Story--The New Chum--Commercial Confessions--Mad Melbourne--Hydrophobia--Madness--A Land Boom--A Paper Panic--Ruin.   Sydney--The Confessions of a Legislator--Federation--Patrick Francis Moran.   Adelaide--Wanted, a Harbour--Wanted, an Expression--Zoological--Guinea-pigs--Paradise!--Types--Hell Fire Jack--The Horse--The Wrong Room! pp. 131--153 CHAPTER XI.

PLATFORM CONFESSIONS.   Lectures and Lecturers--The Boy's Idea--How to Deliver It--The Professor--The Actors--My First Platform--Smoke--Cards--On the Table--Nurses--Some Unrehearsed Effects--Dress--A Struggle with a Shirt--A Struggle with a Bluebottle--Sir William Harcourt Goes out--My Lanternists Go Out--Chairmen--The Absent Chairman--The Ideal Chairman--The Political Chairman--The Ignorant Chairman--Chestnuts--Misunderstood--Advice to Those about to Lecture--I am Overworked--"'Arry to Harry." pp. 154-189 CHAPTER XII.

MY CONFESSIONS AS A "REFORMER."   Portraiture Past and Present--The National Portrait Gallery Scandal--Fashionable Portraiture--The Price of an Autograph--Marquis Tseng--"So That's My Father!"--Sala Attacks Me--My Retort--Du Maurier's Little Joke--My Speech--What I Said and What I Did Not Say--Fury of Sala--The Great Six-Toe Trial--Lockwood Serious--My Little Joke--Nottingham Again--Prince of Journalists--Royal Academy Antics--An Earnest Confession--My Object--My Lady Oil--Congratulations--Confirmations--The Tate Gallery--The Proposed Banquet--The P.R.A. and Modern Art--My Confessions in the Central Criminal Court--Cricket in the Park--Reform!--All About that Snake--The Discovery--The Capture--Safe--The Press--Mystery--Evasive--Experts--I Retaliate--The Westminster Gazette--The Schoolboy--The Scare--Sensation--Death--Matters Zoological--Modern Inconveniences--Do Women Fail in Art?--Wanted a Wife pp. 190-234 CHAPTER XIII.

MY CONFESSIONS AS A "REFORMER."   My First City Dinner--A Minnow against the Stream--Those Table Plans--Chaos--The City Alderman, Past and Present--Whistler's Lollipops--Odd Volumes--Exchanging Names--Ye Red Lyon Clubbe--The Pointed Beard--Baltimore Oysters--The Sound Money Dinner--To Meet General Boulanger--A Lunch at Washington--No Speeches.   The Thirteen Club--What it was--How it was Boomed--Gruesome Details--Squint-Eyed Waiters--Superstitious Absentees--My Reasons for being Present--'Arry of Punch--The Lost "Vocal" Chords--The Undergraduate and the Undertaker--Model Speeches--Albert Smith--An Atlantic Contradiction--The White Horse--The White Feather--Exit 13 pp. 235-271 CHAPTER XIV.

THE CONFESSIONS OF AN EDITOR.   Editors--Publishers--An Offer--Why I Refused it--The Pall Mall Budget--Lika Joko--The New Budget--The Truth about my Enterprises--Au Revoir! pp. 272-280
HARRY FURNISS'S (EGYPTIAN STYLE).
From "Punch."
LIST OF ILLUSTRATIONS.
  PAGE An Artistic Joke. A London Slum. My Parody of the Venetian School. Frontispiece. My Studio during the Progress of "An Artistic Joke" 1 Harry Furniss's Royal Academy 3 Throwing myself into it 5 Fire! 6 The Pictures by R. Macbeth: Potato Gang in the Fens; Twitch-burning in the Fens; A Flood in the Fens 8 Macbeth in the Fens 9 Letter from the President of the Royal Academy 11 "An Artistic Joke" 15 Mr. Sambourne's Prospectus 18 Cover of "How he did it" 20 Initial "T" 20 My Portrait. Frontispiece for "How he did it" 21 Harry Furniss and his "Lay Figure" 22 Letter from the President of the Royal Academy 25 Initial "I" 26 A "T—Tonic" 27 An Atlantic "Greyhound." 28 The Saloon of the Teutonic. The First Morning at Breakfast 30 At Queenstown—A Reminiscence 33 Bog-Oak Souvenirs 34 The Captain's Table 36 Not up in a Balloon 38 Chess 40 Mr. Lloyd and the Lady. "If you will sing, I will!" 42 The American Pilot—Ideal 43 The American Pilot—Real 43 The Health Officer comes on Board 45 Just in Time 46 "A Floating Flower Show" 47 The Bath Steward and the Bishop. "Your Time, Sir! Your Time!" 48 Americans and English on Deck 49 American Interviewing—Imaginary 52 American Interviewing—Real 53 "Sandy." 55 Chiropody 57 "New Trilby." 58 "Amiable Mr. Harry Furniss" 59 Major Pond 59 The Great Sarony 61 James B. Brown 63 Fire! 65 The Alarm 67 The Throne in the Senate 72 The Throne, House of Representatives 73 Initial "T" 74 The House of Representatives 75 An ex-Speaker 77 An ex-Minister 80 Anglophobia 82 The President—Ideal 83 The President—Real 83 Initial "A" 84 A Buffalo Girl 84 President Harrison's Reply 85 Mr. Punch at Niagara 86 Hebe 86 My Driver 87 Fra' Huddersfield 87 Niagara growing upon Me 88 I admire the great Horseshoe Fall 89 Jonathan harnessing Niagara 90 "The Three Sisters." 91 Inclined Railway, Niagara 92 Where Captain Webb was Killed 93 Tourists 94 American Travelling. Nothing to Eat 96 American Travelling. Nothing to Drink 97 Sleep(!) 100 A Washington Lady 102 A Lady Interviewer 104 A Sketch at "Del's" 105 Young America 106 An American Menu 107 My Portrait—in the Future 108 I am Entertained at the Twelfth Night Club 110 Reception at a Ladies' Club 112 Wife and Husband 113 A Dream of the White House 114 The Political Quartette 116 After the Great Parade: "Am I to sit on an ordinary seat to-night?" 120 Italians 123 Where the Deed was done! 125 "A Youth with a Crutch" 127 In an Opium Joint 128 "In His Own Black Art" 128 "Hitting the Pipe" 129 "Good-bye" 130 Initial "W" 131 Coaling 132 Quarantine 133 Initial "T" 134 Sleepy Hollow 135 Prospectors 138 Quarantine Island 141 I am invited to present myself 143 Landing at Adelaide 148 Pondicherry Vultures 150 The Maid of the Inn 150 The Way into Paradise 151 Paradise 151 Adam and Eve 152 A Type 153 Queen's Hall, London. I was the first to speak from the Platform 154 "Parliament by Day" 156 "Parliament by Night" 157 Miss Mary Anderson 159 Initial "By" 159 Giving My "Humours of Parliament" to the Nurses 162 Speaker Brand, afterwards Viscount Hampden 164 The Surprise Shirt 166 Discovered! 168 The Fly in the Camera 169 Late Arrivals 171 Reserved Seats 172 Chairman No. 1 174 Chairman No. 2 177 The Pumpkin—a Chestnut 178 In "The Humours of Parliament." Ballyhooley Pathetic 181 Harry Furniss as a Pictorial Entertainer 182 "Grandolph ad Leones." Reduction of a Page Drawing for Punch made by me whilst travelling by Train 185 Down with Dryasdust 189 From a Photo by Debenham and Gould 190 G. A. Sala 195 "Art Critic of the Daily Telegraph" 199 Counsel for the Plaintiff 200 Mr. F. C. Gould's Sketch in the Westminster, which Sala maintained was mine 200 Defendant 202 My Hat 202 The Plaintiff 203 The Editor of Punch supports me 203 Sir F. Lockwood and Myself 204 "Six Toes" Signature 205 The Sequel—I Distribute the Prizes at Nottingham 205 Initial "T" 206 The See-Saw Antic 207 The first P.R.A. 209 No Water-Colour or Black-and-White need apply 210 A National Academy 211 The Central Criminal Court. From Punch 215 "Thank Y-o-o-u!" 216 Regent's Park as it was. From Punch. A Rough Sketch on Wood 217 The Late Mr Bartlett 220 Sketch by Mr. F. C. Gould 223 The Lady and Her Snakes 226 Do Women fail in Art—The Chrysalis 228 The Butterfly 230 Early Victorian Art 232 Young Lady's Portrait of her Brother 233 Waiting 234 Initial "P" 235 Menu of the Dinner given to me by the Lotos Club, New York 237 Alderman—Ideal. Real 239 J. Whistler, after a City Dinner (Drawn with my Left Hand) 241 An Odd Volume 241 My Design for Sette of Odd Volumes 242 My Design (reduced) for the Dinner of Ye Red Lyon Clubbe 243 A Distinguished "Lyon" 243 Headpiece and Initial "S" 245 A Sound Money Dinner 249 A Sketch of Boulanger 251 Address of Boulanger's Retreat 252 A Note on My Menu 253 Remarkable and much-talked-of Lunch to me at Washington. The Autographs on back of Menu 254 Mr. Punch and his Dog Toby 256 A Memorandum in Pencil 258 Thirteen Club Banquet. The Table Decorations 259 Mr. W. H. Blanch 260 The Broken Looking-Glass 261 The Badge 261 Squint-Eyed Waiter 263 Coffins, Sir! 266 "The Chairman will be Pleased to Spill Salt with You." From the St. James's Budget 267 A Knife I was Presented with 268 Tailpiece 271 "Au Revoir" 280

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CONFESSIONS OF A CARICATURIST.

CHAPTER VIII. THE ARTISTIC JOKE.
MY STUDIO DURING THE PROGRESS OF "AN ARTISTIC JOKE."

The First Idea—How it was Made—"Fire!"—I am a Somnambulist—My Workshop—My Business "Partner"—Not by Gainsborough—Lord Leighton—The Private View—The Catalogue—Sold Out—How the R.A.'s Took It—How a Critic Took It—Curious Offers—Mr. Sambourne as a Company Promoter—A One-man Show—Punch's Mistake—A Joke within a Joke—My Offer to the Nation.

"In the year 1887 he startled the town and made a Society sensation by means of an exceedingly original enterprise which any man of less audacious[Pg 2] and prodigious power of work would have shrunk from in its very inception. For years this Titanic task was in hand. This was his celebrated 'artistic joke,' the name given by the 'Times' to a bold parody on a large scale of an average Royal Academy Exhibition. This great show was held at the Gainsborough Gallery, New Bond Street, and consisted of some eighty-seven pictures of considerable size, executed in monochrome, and presenting to a marvelling public travesties—some excruciatingly humorous and daringly satirical, others really exquisite in their rendering of physical traits and landscape features—of the styles, techniques, and peculiar choice of subjects

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