Hidden by Alexis Wadden (early reader books txt) 📖

(Which happiness is a new feeling for me. I can't remember ever actually being HAPPY.)

Justin hands me a mug, then hands Derrick one with a threatening look. "So, Derrick. What have you and my BABY sister been doing all morning, eh?"

Derrick looks at me and giggles. "Oh, you know, putting together puzzles." He winks at me. I know what he means by "puzzles". It mean the puzzle of our feelings. Wait, are we together? I'm so lost. Well, we'll figure it out later.

"Hey, guys, I hate to interrupt your awkward look exchanging time, but it's Saturday and I'm tired. So, if you don't mind, EXIT THE ROOM." I say.

Justin looks at me, sticks his tongue out, and leaves. Derrick is still on the floor. Justin comes back in and grabs Derrick's jacket. "That means you too, lover boy." Justin says, dragging Derrick out.

I drift off to sleep, forgetting how bad my arm actually hurts from last night.

 

Chapter 4

 

I guess I was asleep for awhile because when I woke up, mom had already left for work. She works second shift on Saturday's, which usually starts at 3pm. I go downstairs to see if Derrick was still here, and I find that him and Justin are babling about some football game. Honestly, I could really care less about football, but since Derrick likes it, I reconsider giving it a try. I walk into the kitchen to see if there is anything to drink. Nope, nada. We have water, but that's not very filling. I give up, and walk into the living room.

"Hey, sissy. How about you come cuddle with your big bro?" Justin scoots over closer to Derrick so that I can't sit in the middle of them. I sit beside Justin, and lay my head on his lap.

"Who's playing?" I ask, not caring one bit.

"Bears and Packers." Justin says. "It should be a pretty good game." Derrick adds his imput.

I giggle because Justin gives Derrick a look I recieve way too often. His: Shut up and let me finish look. I laugh at the severity of it this time. Then, something Justin doesn't do often, he looks away and acts as if nothing had even happened!

"So, Lilly, how'd you sleep?" Derrick asks.

"Fine." I say, blushing.

Derrick winks at me, and it feels good knowing that he's mine. Well, at least I think. I think we're a couple. I wish Justin would go do something so that Derrick and I could talk!

At that moment, I scream in pain. I bumped my arm on something; something sharp. I scream and cry and sream and cry more.

"Oh god, what happened?" Derrick jumps up, starting to panic again. "I don't know, but we need to get her to the hospital!" Justin yelled, while running as fast as he could to get his car keys. "Derrick, pick her up and carry her to the car. I'm sure she's too weak to stand on her own. Hurry, man!"

Derrick picked me up lightening fast, and I was in the car faster than the speed of sound. Justin started the car even faster, and we were off on our journey to the hospital in what seemed like no time. "They really do care." I thought to myself, drifting in and out of consciousness.

Derrick and Justin were in the front, and I, in the back. As Justin was driving, (over the speed limit, I might add) Derrick was turned around in his seat, holding my hand and telling me funny things to keep me awake.

"Remember the time that we kissed?" I say, half delirious. "I mean, Derrick and me." Now, they can definatly tell something is wrong, because I never make Grammar mistakes like that.

"Lilly, baby, smile for me, okay? You're smile is beautiful, and smiling will help keep you awake. I trust that if you love me, you'll listen to me, okay?" Derrick says, caressing my cheeks with is soft and warm hand. He blows me a kiss, which makes me smile. I just wish this all could go away so I could be with him; Derrick.

"Justin...." I say, just barely loud enough they can hear me. "Justin... I l-lo-love Derrick..." I finally fall completely unconscious.

I have no idea what's going on as I wake up in the hospital.

"What's going on? Who's hurt? Are Derrick and Justin okay?" I ask. I almost don't realize the confused look I got from the staff.

"Honey," one of the nurses says, "They are alright. You're the one that's hurt." She points to my arm. I look down, only to realize the blood all over myself, my clothes, and the white bed spread of the rolling bed.

"Oh god. What happened?" I ask, frantically.

"You don't remember?" The same nurse from before looks frazzled. "Hon, you had an accident at home, and it's infected." I try to raise my arm, but notice that it's completely limp.

"What the heck happened?" The nurse wiped my tears with her sleeve. The doctors and nurses look at each other; troubled. "I'm serious. Someone tell me what happened!"

"Well," A male doctor says, "Look at your right arm." I roll up my bloodied and sticky sleeve, and see cuts. A lot of cuts. Big ones, small ones, new ones, old ones. "Honey," The male doctor took my hand, seeing my expression; which is horrified. "You used to cut yourself. And, from what I can tell by by your arm, you tried killing yourself."

 

Chapter 5

I wake up in a room, with Derrick facing me, sleeping soundly. I touch his face with my right arm. I kiss his tiny little button nose. He wakes up.

"Mmm.. Good morning, beautiful." He says, kissing my forehead. I blush.

"Mornin." I say, yawning, "How long have I been sleeping?" I take his hand in mine, and hold it tight. His blue eyes sparkle, his smile reveals his true feelings; happiness and at the same, terror.

"Well," Justin says, standing up from a chair, startling me. "You were put to sleep for awhile because you were having an epaliptic attack. Which is basically a seisure. You could have died, Lil." Justin took my free hand, and wiped his tear with his free hand. "I can't loose you, Lilly." At that moment, a female doctor walks in.

"So, Ms. Tral....." I know that voice. Oh god; it's MOM. "Lillian!" She drops the clipboard, and runs to my bed side, pushing Justin out of the way. "Lillian, what did you do?"

"Well, you read my paper thing, so I bet you can guess." I try to lighten the mood with a little sarcastic humor. Mom gave me an angry look. That plan failed.

"Lillian Jane Traling. Stop messing around. Better question. WHY did you do that?"

"No reason."

"Yeah, you tried killing yourself because it sounded fun?" Mom gave me a knowing look. I falsly smiled back. "Mom....." Justin prodded. "Justin, why don't you and Derrick go get something to eat in the cafeteria?" She hands Justin a 10 dollar bill, and off the went, closing the door behind them. There goes my easy escape. I search the room, trying to find another door, an open window; anything.

"Lillian! Are you even listening to me, young lady? I asked you a question!" Mom's angry. VERY angry.

"Oh, sorry mom. The medicine they have me on makes me spacey. What'd you ask?"

"I said, why did you try to commit suicide?"

"Honestly?" I ask, begging her with my eyes not to make me answer.

"If I didn't want the truth, I wouldn't have asked."

"I'm being bullied at school. My other classmates are putting suicide notes everywhere I go. I've gotten 3 this month. And it's only the 15th!" I tear up, and I can tell by the way mom looks, she's about to, also.

"Oh honey!" She gives me a big, big hug, holding me tight. "Why didn't you tell me?" I look guilty.

"I thought you'd be angry with me. Like it was my fault."

"I'm not THAT much of a monster. I do understand things like that. I was bullied once, too." Mom says, standing next to the window. "I once wasn't so pretty, so thin, and social."

"Yeah mom, because now you're a social butterfly!" Mom looks at me, trying to be serious. But I see the smile trying to form.

"I'm not talking about partying. I'm talking about having friends, and staying out late, and giving people advice." Mom says, shaking with excitement. Or in dander. I can't tell the difference anymore.

"Okay, okay. I get it." I laugh and put my hands up in defense. "But mom, what does this have to do with me cutting myself? I mean, I wasn't going to kill myself. I just, had enough last night and lost myself in my head. Is that such a crime?"

"It would have been if you actually suceeded in killing yourself!" She still doesn't believe me.

"Mom! I wasn't trying to kill myself. Honest." I cross my heart with my index finger.

"I believe you. But honey," She takes my hand. "Cutting isn't the answer. I can promise you that. DO you want to know WHAT is?"

I knod. She opens her arms for a hug, and pulls me in. She kisses my cheek. "Mmm.. Jesus, baby girl. Jesus can and WILL help you through this, through that, through everything."

"Ugh, not another "Christianity" speech." I say to myself. But I let her talk anyways. BUt this time, I'm strangely drawn to listening this time. I don't know how, but I am.

"'Romans 10:9 - That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved.' Listen to that, Honey. Just think about it. I'm going to leave you alone now. You don't have to pray, but I think it would good if you did." She kisses my forehead. "Bye sweetie." She walks out, and I'm left with silence; the most dreadful thing known to man.

 

 

 

Chapter 6