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he won't get off..

"Derrick! What are you doing?" I'm sobbing, but that doesn't make him stop.

"Baby, you know you want me. Now, you have me. Stop fighting it. Help me. Push. Hard."

I can't make him stop. So I just give in. I push. Hard.

"There you go, baby." He kisses my neck. "Just like that." He kisses me and I reluctantly kiss back.  I thought he loved me. Why is he doing this?

"Derrick, please stop." I beg. But does he? No.

"Derrick." I say, before he hits me, and I'm wiped out. Or so I thought......

Chapter 12


I wake up in a cold sweat, screaming and crying. Justin busts in my room with a bat.

"Whoever you are, get the heck out my sister's room. I HAVE A BAT!" He swings wildly not seeing where he hit. It's pitch black in my room, and he knocks over my flowers Derrick gave me....

"Justin!" I scream. "Turn on the light, man!" He searches the wall with his hand and finally finds the switch. The light flickers on and my eyes burn.

"Ahhhhhhhhhh...." He takes in a deep breath. "That's better. So, why were you screaming?" He looks around the room, holding the bat in a swinging position. He gently opens the closet, and just in case, he hits all my clothes with the bat to make sure no one is there.

"Cost is clear." I say, sticking my tongue out playfully. He fake laughs in response. "I screamed because I had a dream........ More like a nightmare." I say, still wincing from the surreal situation. 

"What happened?" He puts the bat down, and comes to sit on my bed. 

"It's complicated, Justin. Can I go back to sleep?" He knods. "Thanks." I kiss his forehead, and he smiles vacantly. "Turn the light off. But please, don't close the door. I need the hall light on. Just for security, you know?" He knods, and walks out.

"Night, sis." He turns off the light and sighs as I he walks down the hall.

"Hush little baby, don't you cry. Mama's gonna sing you a lullabye..." I hear my mom singing softly down the hallway and into my room. She must have heard me sniffliing- yet I didn't think I was that loud. She lays beside me on my bed, and wraps her arms around my waist.

"Lilly.... What's wrong, baby?" She kisses my head.

"Mommy...." I sniffle. "I love him......." There is a long silence while I sob into my mom's shoulder. Shes hushes me while running her hand up and down my hair. Finally, I calm down. "He told me he loved me too. I believed him." I look up in her eyes. " Mom, I think he wants to have sex."

"Sex?" She jumps up, angry. "Sex? Lilly, you're 15! You're not even old enough to drive! AND God says no sex until after marriage. Do you really want to break Gods' trust?" She looks at me with her hands on her hips.

"No." I lied. I want to have a relationship with Derrick- Even if it means losing my virginity.- "You're right mom. I'm sorry. I'm going back to bed. I have school tomorrow." I lay down and block out the world. It's time for me to sleep. God knows I haven't gotten much of it lately.

 

Chapter 13

 

I'm half way to school, and I'm already tired. I didn't get much sleep last night. I just can't get that dream- or nightmare- out of my head. I walk past Derrick's house, and he is getting into his car. I hide my face with my hand to try to avoid conversation.

"Hey, Stranger!" Derrick says running up to me before picking me up and twirling me. "How's my favorite girl?" He says before kissing me.

"Fine." I say sternly.

"You okay?" He puts his hand on my chin, turning my head to face him. "I'm serious. Be honest."

I knod and he shakes his head, knowing I lied. "Okay." He sighs. "Get in. I'll take ya to school." He points to his car. I get in; reluctanly. He senses I'm uncomfortable, so he puts his hand on my knee and smiles.

"Derrick. Can I tell you something?" He knods. "Well, last night after you left, I had a dream."

"Mmmmm, sexy dream?" He winks.

"Not funny." I glare at him. "It's really bothering me."

"What is it?"

"I had a dream that y-you.." I started choking up. "That you raped me!" I'm now in full on tears.

Derrick stops the car; mid-street. (Luckily it wasn't a busy street.) He unbucklates his seat belt, and wraps me in his arms. He lifts my chin, and kisses my nose; he himself now crying. "Baby, I would never hurt you like that- I'd never hurt you in any way. Lilly, I love you." He kisses my tears away, and unbuckles my seat belt and puts me in his lap; now cradling me like a baby. "I love you."

"I.. Love.. You.. Too.." I yawn, still exhausted from last night and now this dramtic experience.

"Hey, do you wanna skip school today? You look exhausted. We can go to my place and you can crash in my bed." Derrick says.

I knod, again yawning. He puts me back in my seat after kissing my cheek. He buckles me again, and I drift off to sleep.......

Chapter 14


When I come to, I awake in Derrick's bed. "Derrick?" I say, looking around the room, still with blurry eyes.

I get out of the bed and stumble on the sheets. When I get back up, I open the door ever so slightly so it doesn't make a noise. I walk into the living rom to see Derrick, sound asleep on the couch. Awh, I think to myself. He's so cute!

I go and sit on the couch, gently lifting his head and putting it on my lap. I just sit there, running my hands through his soft hair. God, I love him. I start to hum a delicate song my mom used to sing to me as a child while his chest rises and falls as he breathes.

"Come, little one to the land of smiles. Come to the land of enternal smiles. I love you so, and I promise I will never let go."

I start to fall asleep myself when Derrick intertwines his fingers with mine and kisses my palm. "Mmmmm.... Hello, beautiful." I blush.

"Hey." I say, not sure what else there is to say due to the fact that I don't want to ruin this perfect moment.

"I fell asleep on the bed with you, then my mom got home and dragged me to the couch. I had to explain why we were heare and not at school. I told her you were stressed because of problems at home and that you needed a long rest. Luckily, she believed it." He winks and kisses my cheek. "So, how'd you sleep?"

I yawn. "Fine." I smile and giggle. Derrick sits up and wraps his arms around my waist and pulls me on his lap. I put my head on his neck and he kisses my out stretched neck.

"Mmmmmm...... You smell soo good... It's intoxicating.." He kisses harder and and pulls me closer.

"Derrick.." I say, stopping him. "I love you too."

He looks at me, confused. "What?"

"The letter you wrote me in the hospital, you said you loved me... I never got the chance to say it back." He looks at me, and wraps his arms around my waist.

"Lilly," He says, running one hand through my hair. "I've always loved you, and always will.." He pulls me in for a kiss. I kiss him before he even gets close enough to meet my lips. He likes this, I can tell by the way his breatheing is.

I get off his lap and lay down on the couch, my head now on his lap. "Can you turn on the tv?" I ask.

He grabs the remote and channel surfs. We finally stop on disney channel, although now we're not even watching the tv. "Lilly?" Derrick says. "You're so beautiful." He runs his hand through my hair.

"Haha....." I say.... "You're too kind..."

He blushe.. I giggle.. He lookes up at me, and bites his lip....

I stand up, grabbing his hand, and pulling him to his bedroom. I lay down.

"Lil, are you sure?" He asks, looking into my eyes.

 

Chapter 15

I nod. "Yes." He gets on top of me, kissing my neck.

His hands run up and down my body. His hands feel amazing. He starts to unbutton my pants, pulling them down a bit. He looks at me and smiles, pulling them the rest of the way down. He kisses my thighs..

I moan as he puts his face in between my legs, licking and sucking the inside of me.. I hold his head there, gently tugging his hair. He gets up, and goes to his desk drawer.

"What're you doing?" I ask.

"Grabbing a condom.....I don't want you pregnant." He takes out a shiny ight blue wrapper. He opens it to reveal a condom. He pulls his pants down and puts it on. He walks over to the bed. "So, you ready?" He asks.

I nod. He gets

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