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If Ken has the days off, he could always come out here. And he's much more capable of paying for the gas to get here than Mom is. If it's so important for her to have a relationship with me, then why is she leaving every weekend, and why is she planning on moving an hour away from me? I don't see why I have to quit my job just because she wants to go spend her weekends with Ken. GROOVEY MOSES.
    But I guess I have no say in it. Because... if I don't quit my job, she'll just get pissed off and will make me find my own transportation every time I work and it'll just be this big mess that will make me want to tear my hair out. So tomorrow after practice I'll go talk to Pam and tell her that my mom said I can't work during the summer. Maybe I can be someone who just comes in if someone needs to be covered. That might work. Just for the summer. That's what Baylor said he did before he was a regular employee. I dunno. But then... when do I decide that I can work regularly again? During football season? I won't have practice on Tuesdays, Thursdays, Saturdya afternoons, or Sundays. But that means I have NO free time. I'd pretty much be busy every single day. I'd be exhausted. When would I do my homework? Maybe I could just tell her I could only work Saturday afternoons and Sundays. And have Tuesdays and Thursdays to relax and do my home work and rest. Or at least just have Tuesdays.
    Or during basketball season? But basketball season is even busier than football, because you have more than one game each week. I don't know. I guess I'll figure it out later. For right now... Let's just say that for the summer, I'll try to just be someone who comes in when other people can't. And I'll figure out the rest later. I hope Pam would go for that. I'll talk to her tomorrow about it.

How are you? You're probably eating dinner, or getting ready to. Or something. Speaking of that, I wonder what we're having for dinner. I'm hungry. The lunch at the school (because I had practice today) was like... They took a tortilla, put one slice of ham and one slice of cheese in it, folded it up, and cut it in half and that was it. Then they had some nasty cooked carrots. EW. So.. I'm hungry. Because I didn't have breakfast. Plus, lunch was at around 11.

I gotta go now. Mom just called me. So I'll talk to you later, darlin'. :)

Love,
CC Raz

PS- I forgot. Still praying, still staying strong. Promise. :)
Love,
CC Raz

OOB#We are

6/11

We are the ones
We are the guns
And we will ride
We are the voice of the song unsung
We are the change
We are the chains that hold us
We are the choice
We are the strong
We are one.
       I really like that song. It's by Thousand Foot Krutch. I've been kinda listening to it nonstop lately.

I need my mom to hurry up and wake up. She has the bedroom door locked. But I have things that I need to get out of there. And eventually I have to go to the bank and to the store and to practice, so I need the keys. But practice isn't until noon. It's only 9. And I can always go to the bank after practice. But I do need to go to Alco before practice. I need to get new shorts for cheer. I only have one pair now. I don't know what happened to the other pairs. At one point I had like 11. Don't know why I had so many. But oh well. I just need to run in real quick and get a couple pairs.

"N Y P D. That means I will (k)nock your punk-ass down." Will Smith is actually pretty cool. He's just kinda a little badass. The kids are in the other room watching Men in Black. That's why I mentioned this. It wasn't because I randomly decided to bring Will Smith into the conversation.

Yesterday at practice, Michaela was talking about how no celebrity's kids are ever famous. Uh... Jaden Smith? Willow Smith? EVERYONE knows who they are. Chandra said Kelly Osbourne, but she's not famous. Everyone just knows her because of her dad. But Jaden acts and Willow sings. Well... she kinda sings. She kinda just whips her hair back and forth and gets paint all over the walls and makes a pretty big mess. But she has talent. Have you ever heard her sing? For someone who's like 8, she's pretty good. And Jaden Smith is ADORABLE in The Pursuit of Happyness. :)
    One thing I noticed likt 2 years ago... Will Smith's wife's name is Jade (I think. Something like that). Jade. Jaden. Will. Willow. I just thought it was cool. I dunno. I'll stop talking about the Smith family now because it's pointless and going nowhere.

So, AWESOME little fact here... Alejandro is going to Mexico for 2 weeks. He leaves tomorrow. And when he's gone, I GET HIS TRUCK!!! I am so happy. First of all, it's a car. Something to drive. I don't have to have Mom or Jake take me places anymore. But... IT'S MY FAVORITE TRUCK IN THE WHOLE WORLD. I'ma feel like a stud drivng around in that thing.
    It was funny though. I told Jacob about it last night, because I was tired of talking about serious stuff with him. And I told him I was excited because it's a sexy truck. And he said, "Haha well u are sexier than marcus"
    Uh... hold on a sec, bud. So I asked him if he was talking about the trucks. And, for the record, I am WAY sexier than Marcus. But he said "yeh the truck I'm not hitting on mu girls best friend lol hehe"   One sec. Gwen... hehe? Are you sure he doesn't think Marcus is sexy? That's not something teenage guys should be saying. So I said, "Good. I was like... You best be talkin bout the truck. If not, you're getting run over." So then he asked if that was a "you don't have a license" joke. And I said, "Um, no. That's a "You hurt Gwen and you die" joke but it's not a joke." And he said, 'Okay I understand."   I dunno. That just made me laugh.

Last night, my mom rented this movie called The Depraved. It was the DUMBEST movie EVER. It was supposed to be a horror movie or something. But it was just DUMB. I wanted to take a baseball bat to whoever wrote that movie, because of how dumb it was. There was this part, though, that was REALLY gross. The bad guy "took someone else's shirt off". But he wasn't wearing a shirt. His shirt was his skin. And the guy just cut around his waist and peeled it off. EW. Groovey Moses that movie was terrible. The only good part was there was this girl and she was running from the bad guy, but he eventually caught up to her and she was too weak to fight back because she had just run like 4 miles in underground tunnels afte being tortured for a few hours. So she just started praying, and the guy realized that he couldn't torture her anymore so he just snapped her neck. She just, you know. Was ready to go because she had faith that God would take care of her.
    Wanna know how the movie ended? All the people die, except for the one with the broken back and broken femur. He managed to slide across the floor and get away, but the guy with a gun, and knives, and a big metal rod strapped to his wrist, and the really smart girl, and the two girls who went for help, they all died. But the guy with the broken back and femur got away. ?!?! Doesn't make any sense. But the last like... 45 seconds of the movie is the bd guy (who has horse teeth, crazy eyes, and long, thin, grey hair that sorta covers his eyes) brushing his teeth in the most pissed-off way possible. It. Was. TERRIBLE. The movie was so bad that it caused me emotional distress. It was terrible.

I have to go now. Got stuff to do, places to go, people to see. Not really. I have laundry to fold. YAY ME!
I wrote you a letter. I don't know when you'll be home, so I don't know when I can give it to you. Maybe I'll email Cassidy and tell her that you left something at my house and I wanted to give it back to you, but I want to make sure that you're home. I dunno. Then I could just get something of yours (maybe one of your JW books) and bring it over to the house, with the letter inside. I dunno. Just know that I love you, Gwen.

Still praying, still staying strong.
Love,
CC Raz

OOB#Life is GOOD

6/12

Other than the fact that I haven't seen you in a long time, life's pretty good. I have my own room now. It's almost all set up and organized. My books are back in ABC order, as they should be. :) I have the desk and just... it's good. Very good. I still have some stuff that I need to get out of Mom's room, but then I just have to make the beds and it'll be nice and pretty. :)
    AND... I have the truck. It's gorgeous. I took Oscar out this morning and I saw it in the parking lot and... Groovey Moses was I happy. I get to drive it to cheer practice today. It just makes me.. VERY happy. Not excited about paying for gas, though. It seriously gets like 8 miles to the gallon. And that's NOT an exaggeration. It's big and old. But beautiful. But maybe, since Mom is making me quit my job, I can get her to pay for some of the gas, because... you know. I don't have money anymore and it's her fault. :)

Tara came by yesterday to get your SS card and birth certificate. I was freaking out because I found the notebook with those in it, but I couldn't find your insurance card. I looked in the wallet

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