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at the end of the corridor open and leading me to step over more bodies. Soldiers and civilians, but only one wore a gown, killed by a gunshot shattering his head open.

I didn’t care that not once did she check for life before she pushed the gun to each head, setting the air alight with each explosion.

My only concern was the pointless waste of bullets, or did she know something I didn’t?

14

Toni drove me through the corridors at a good pace, with my head twitching to noises which could have just been in my head. With each few steps I peered through open doors, out through windows and into the darkness, but never with enough time to fill the picture as Toni pushed on.

We climbed three storeys with my hand in hers. It felt wrong, but right at the same time. There was way too much going on in my head to even think of pulling away.

As we wound our way higher, I wanted to ask why we weren’t just heading outside, but I couldn’t find those simple words.

We came to a great sliding door which should have barred our way, but instead lay strewn to the side.

Blood streaked across its front, and at its foot lay a guard. Not a solider, but a man in a blue shirt, a great bunch of keys hanging by his side. Only as we approached did she let go of my hand to unclip the ring from his belt.

She didn’t administer the gun to his head. Someone had already done the job, the pool of blood slowing its escape.

The carpet felt soft and let my bare feet bounce; the sensation so alien.

Toni lit another cigarette, handing it over before we reached a door with metal letters across its front, forming words I only recognised as her name when they passed out of sight.

She let go a second time and using the great bunch to unlock the door, she led me in, turning the thumbwheel at her back and slapping at the light switch.

I took in the spacious office with a great oak desk taking over half the space in the centre. Everything ordered. Neat and clean. Just as I would have expected.

She didn’t stop for breath as we entered, instead ushering me to the long sofa filling the right-hand wall.

Sitting, I pulled on the glorious cigarette whilst watching as she raced around the room, pulling open the drawers of her desk, rifling through cupboards lining the floor and the wall.

On top of the floor-standing cupboards, a sink sunk into a countertop and tall laboratory instruments lined the surfaces, all clustered around a tall microscope. Beneath the counter sat what looked like the front of a white fridge that would seem at home in any kitchen.

I watched as she seemed to slow before glancing in my direction, glaring as if inspecting what she saw.

“You look like a granny,” she said at last with a smile.

I glanced down. With the white coat spread wide, the tweed skirt and frilled blouse caught my attention as if for the first time.

“She'll be pissed if she sees you in her clothes,” Toni said, then burst out laughing. “If she sees you at all.”

“Who?” I said, but the ridiculousness of my reply made me speak again before she could. “Toni, what’s happening to me?”

Her laughter cut short with my question and the lights in the room went dark.

I turned to Toni wide-eyed, watching as she held her palm in my direction, only lowering when the dim glow from the emergency light blinked to life above the door.

I turned to the great window, stood and walked around the desk, my gaze fixing on the yellow line appearing on the horizon. I had so many questions, but I struggled to fix on one. Thoughts raced around my head, each battling to fight against the growing fear of the hunger rising again.

“How long’s it been?” I said, the question blurted out, dry and hoarse. I turned to the window to hide my face as I winced at my choice of question. I drew a deep breath, trying to force myself to focus on the important questions.

Glad when she didn’t reply straight away, I was about to speak again when my gaze fixed on to the light on the horizon before turning down to the rest of the buildings bathed in darkness. Hadn’t I been able to see in the darkness when I was in the cell?

“Too long,” she said, her words turning muffled as she looked away, draining to silence. “I thought…” she started to say, but stopped herself as if she would choke on the words.

I winced again, this time with her reply, regretting leading her down this line.

“Toni, what’s going on?”

“A year, give or take,” Toni said, her voice flat.

“What’s…” was all I could get out until the words dried.

“I thought we’d never be together again,” she said, her words tailing off before her voice came back.

I was about to tell her that’s not why I was here, that nothing had changed between us when she spoke again.

“But I see you every week,” she said in a playful voice, as if changing her mood with a flick of a switch. I could tell from the muffle she looked away, still searching, but for what I didn’t know.

With each moment the sun seemed to rise more, highlighting the roofs of the shorter buildings below.

“I don’t get it,” I said, remembering her words as I turned back to the darkness. It took a moment for my vision to catch her shape moving in the corner.

“The little flared red dress you wore in Istanbul last week. That did it for me.”

“When I interviewed the president?” I replied, stepping away from the window and toward her

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