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yourself wake. Calm down and tell me how you feel.” She sat back, keeping her attention my way, her eyes doughy as she tilted her head to the side with her lips in a petite smile.

I turned away, knowing I had to fight that look. Taking a step to the window I tried to figure out what she meant. I looked out to the horizon and the perfect blue sky. My gaze caught on the carton of cigarettes and panic pushed into my chest.

Snapping back to Toni, I expected to see her leap in my direction, but instead her eyes were wide and hopeful as she perched on the edge of the couch.

I let my breath catch and sampled my feelings, tentative at first, noting all that came. As hard as I searched, the smell in the air stayed benign. Blank. Empty, with no earthy taste drawing my attention. My body gave no reaction, blood didn’t course like a tsunami and my heart didn’t pound out of my chest.

“I feel great,” I said, the words quiet, unsure. “What have you done? I feel like…” I said, struggling for the words. “Like…” I said again, not knowing how to get it out.

“Human again?” Toni said, standing, her eyes widening as I gave a slow nod.

“You’ve cured me?” I said with tears welling in my eyes, but she stepped towards me, shaking her head, her hands opening to pull me close. “I don’t understand.”

I had her in my arms, the rage from before replaced with a compassion, a gratitude that I didn’t feel the need to pull away her flesh from bone. I didn’t feel the overwhelming need to lap at her open veins.

Her arms tightened around me, pulling closer as she spoke.

“It’s not a cure,” she said, her voice soft. “But it will suppress the symptoms for a while and with enough doses it might work.”

I tried to pull away, but her arms held me in place.

“How do you know? How can you be sure?” I searched, frantic for her answer when no reply came. “Please, tell me or my brain will explode.”

Her arms tightened further, clamping on for dear life. Her lunge flashed in my mind as the sound of distant gunshots rang in my ears and an explosion shocked the fabric of the building.

“They’re coming,” Toni said.

“I don’t care who’s coming. Just tell me please. How do you know?”

After a pause, she spoke with a soft voice.

“It’s my formula.”

My knees gave way and I staggered back.

16

“You did this?” I shouted, struggling to stay upright, my legs like jelly.

“No,” Toni shouted back as she stepped forward, trying to gather me up.

“But you made the drug,” I said, slapping away her outstretched arms.

“It’s the same thing you were given when you arrived. It was developed as a vaccine,” she said as I scrabbled back, bumping against her desk. “But it wasn’t ready. Wasn’t for human testing. They didn’t give me enough time. I told them it wasn’t for use on humans yet.”

I stopped, confused thoughts racing around my brain and I listened to my panting breath as she continued to hurry out the words before I could process.

“I need more doses?”

“Yes,” she said. “But I don’t know how many.”

“Why didn’t you just tell me when we got here? Why attack me?” I said, but already my mind raced onto the next question.

“We didn’t have time. I could see it in your eyes. I’m sorry, okay. I should have spoken to you first,” she said holding her hands out into the gap between us.

“Wait. How do you know what they’ve done to me?” I said, a sudden rush of cold air blanketing my shoulders.

“There were more tests to do, more protocols to follow. They refused to let me finish the work and when they told me to jump straight to the trials, I threatened to go to the media.”

“Why such a rush?” I said with the shake of my head as I wiped away the last of my tears across the back of my hand.

Toni paused, swallowing down as she took a moment before her words came slow and quiet.

“There’s been an outbreak. A small village south east of here.” She paused again, her eyes widening as she watched the alarm on my face. “One of our team took himself off sick.”

I reared back, already seeing where this was going. Already seeing the shame in her face as I opened my mouth.

“Bitten?”

She nodded. “But, of course, we didn’t know at the time. He shouldn’t have had any contact with the subjects so he wasn’t followed up or put in one of the quarantine quarters downstairs.”

“Bitten by what? You said you weren’t testing on humans yet.”

“You can’t call them human. Not at that stage.” Toni watched intensely as a scowl set on my face. “I promise,” she said, moving forward. “We didn’t infect him.”

I pushed the weight of the new questions to the side and wound back to one I needed the answer to.

“The outbreak,” I said, urging her to finish the story.

She took another deep breath and turned away to the window before speaking. “The village is sealed up. Nothing’s going in or out. The problem will be resolved soon.”

“But?” I said when she stopped talking. All our years of being so close told me she was holding back.

“There’s a small window where anything could have happened.”

“You mean someone could have been bitten and hasn’t been contained,” I said.

Toni nodded.

“How likely is it?”

She paused again as if weighing up her words. “There were calls to the police. A fight.”

I could feel my brow rising as she spoke.

“We haven’t traced all those who were involved in the incident.”

I waited for a long while before

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