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then fell back against thewall.

After a momentof silence, I lifted Alexis’ legs into my arms. “You’re okay,Hunny.”

“Gareth?” sheasked against my neck, her sobs painful, her tears moistening myskin.

I looked atDerek who sorrowfully shook his head, confirming my fears andfilling me with a sense of loss. “He didn’t make it,” I saidsoftly.

She began tocry harder, which had me perplexed. “He saved me, Bryce” shesobbed.

I threaded myhand through her hair, pressing my palm against the back of herhead and holding her tightly, my hand finding a rather largebump.

“Did you hityour head?”

“Yes, I’vebeen unconscious.”

“Come on, youneed to see a paramedic.”

CHAPTERTHIRTY-FIVE

Bryce carried me inhis arms and down one flight of stairs, then I remembered goingback into an elevator until I was at ground level and being fussedover by two paramedics. Soon after that, I ended up back inhospital.

I was drowsyfrom my concussion, and my eyes still stung from the smoke,therefore finding it much easier and more comfortable to keep themclosed. I could hear Bryce talking with my doctor, their voicesaudible but not quite in my room.

“Physically,she is fine. She suffered a mild concussion and will be somewhatdrowsy. She also suffered minor smoke inhalation and couldexperience shortness of breath and a sore throat for manydays.”

“And ourbaby?” Bryce asked the young sounding female doctor with an Englishaccent.

“Your baby isfine, Mr. Clark. The ultrasound still shows a strong fetalheartbeat.”

“Thank you,”Bryce exhaled, sounding relieved yet fragile.

“I’m moreconcerned for your fiancé’s mental state at this stage. Her medicalrecords indicate she sees Dr. Jessica Laitan.”

“Yes, shedoes,” he replied.

“I think itmay be wise to make an appointment for her as soon as possible.Other than that, she is ready to be discharged. Give me a moment tocomplete her paperwork, and then you can take her home.”

Moments later,I felt Bryce’s warm, comforting hand on top of mine. I clenched ittightly and slowly opened my eyes, finding him slumped over the bedhis head resting on his folded arms.

He began tosob. “I’m so sorry.”

“Bryce,” Isaid, my voice raspy and my throat sore and dry. “Don’t be sorry.Please don’t be sorry. None of what happened is your fault.”

“You’re wrong,it’s all my fault,” he answered angrily. “I knew Scott had returnedand I didn’t protect you.”

I moved myother hand to touch his head. “Look at me.”

He slowlylifted his head from his arms.

“I knew Scotthad returned as well, but neither of us could’ve known what he hadplanned.”

He dropped hishead again. “I knew what Scott was capable of, Alexis. What ifCharli and Nate had been there, or Lucy and Alexander?”

Just thethought of it made me feel sick again.

“Did you knowhe was capable of that?” I asked sternly.

“No.”

“Then stopblaming yourself.”

“I nearly lostyou, Alexis. I thought I’d lost you. I thought you were dead.” Hetook my hand in his and brought it up to his cheek, while closinghis eyes.

“Open youreyes, Bryce.”

I said it withauthority, like the many times he’d said it to me. They shotopen.

“You didn’tlose me, I’m right here. I’ve told you before, I’m not goinganywhere.”

***

I leaned upagainst the window, 38 floors above the city of Melbourne, thewindow which now housed the view from our make-shift apartment inCity Towers. It had been days since the explosion and fire thatdestroyed the interior of majority of the penthouse floor. Therewas no major structural damage, but the heat of the fire and extentof the smoke damage had made it so that the entire apartment wouldneed to be completely renovated. Until that happened, we werestaying in one of the villas a few levels down.

“Alexis, areyou with me?” Jessica asked softly, but firmly enough to bring myattention back to her.

I removed mygaze from the many kayakers streaming along the Yarra River below.“Yes, sorry.”

“It’s okay todwell on what’s happened. You’re allowed to think about the events,just make sure you talk about them out loud.”

“I wasn’treally thinking about it. Alright, maybe I was. I’m worried aboutBryce more than anything, he’s blaming himself.”

“I know he is,Alexis, and I’m working on that. If you feel you need to constantlyreassure him, then do so. But he will need to sort through hisguilt and his insecurities himself.”

I turned backto look out the window, to the sun which was part way up in thesky, indicating the time being mid-morning. It was hot outside, anda beautiful day, but that beauty was soon going to turn glum whenwe made our way to the Melbourne Cemetery to say farewell toGareth.

I had on ablack sheath dress with a top layer of black lace. It wasconservative but also cool enough for the day ahead. I leaned intothe window again, but closed my eyes to block out the vertical dropthat now greeted me.

“Alexis, I amhere to listen to you, to make you feel comfortable enough to openup to me and rid yourself of information and feelings you do notknow how to dissect and comprehend. I’m here to help you, and Iwant to, but you need to tell me what you’re thinking.”

Still keepingmy eyes closed, I confessed what I had held onto since Scott’sattempt at my murder. “Scott pushed me down the stairs. He was thereason I fell and lost our baby. He confessed before he tried toblow up the apartment, but... I think I kind of already knew thathe’d pushed me, that he was at fault.”

“Hmmm, itwould appear you did. And how does that make you feel?”

“Angry,” I bitout, while turning to face her, my back now to the window.

“That is areasonable reaction, Alexis.”

“I’m not angryat Gareth, because Scott’s actions were never his fault. I realisethat, I do. I’m angry because Bryce will blame himself.”

She pushed herglasses back up to the top of her nose. “He feels responsible forGareth.”

“Yes, he does,and he will feel responsible for the death of our daughter becauseof that. I will not let him bear that guilt. Ever! Her death wasnot his fault. It wasn’t my fault. Fuck, it wasn’t even Gareth’sfault. It was Scott’s.”

“So, you’vechosen not to tell him the truth?”

“Yes.”

“That’s quitea secret to carry.”

“I know,” Isighed while closing my eyes again. “But, I will carry it. I willbear it to save him more heartache, he has suffered enough.

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