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glared at him sharply again. “Do you have any idea how

many gay couples I’ve seen since I got here?”

“Uh  â€ťâ€¦

“A whole lot considering the size of this place. I swear, I think the  gays outnumber the straights at this point. Granted, one guy seemed to  be talking to himself, but that’s not what this is about.”

Mason couldn’t figure out where this was going. “Is that bad?”

“It is when your brother was the one who told me you left because  you were ashamed of me.”

“What?”

“You just disappeared without saying anything. Your whole  family here was avoiding me, too, and that’s fine, I got that with the  secrecy thing you all did, but when I finally got up the nerve to ask  James what had happened the next time I saw him in town, he told me  you left because you were ashamed.”

This had clearly been eating away at Derek for the last ten years.  He was definitely suppressing his memories of what had happened  that night, too.

Mason opened his mouth to tell him the truth, that he didn’t leave  because of anything Derek did, that it was entirely his fault.

Instead, only the half-truth came out.

“He didn’t tell you I was ashamed of you, and I never said that to  him either.”

Derek didn’t stop frowning, and when he looked like he was getting ready to argue some more, Mason cut him off.

“I was shamed, Derek. I challenged my brother for the right to lead the pack, and I failed. The loser in a challenge like that is

46                          Marcy Jacks

required to leave.”

Derek’s face was wide open with stunned revelation, but it was  clear he still didn’t understand. “Why leave?”

Mason shrugged. “To teach humility. Can’t have an alpha who’s  sore from losing around the pack. They can leave and either start a  pack of their own, or come back after the shame is lifted.”

Mason just left out the part where he was only required to leave  for twelve months. He wasn’t quite ready to tell Derek about that.

Derek, instead of being relieved or grateful for the explanation,  got up from his chair, the legs scratching against the hardwood floor  before he paced around the kitchen.

“You fuck…you complete fucking idiot.”

“For what?” Mason asked.

“For not telling me!” Derek exploded, rounding on him. “You  were gone for ten years, you stupid shit! You could’ve told me you  were leaving or where you were going. You could’ve called, written,  anything.”

“I wasn’t aware that a three-day fling required that kind of

commitment,” Mason deadpanned.

Derek’s face drained of all color. He grabbed both the mugs in the  table and dumped the contents down the sink, then gripped the  counter edges hard. “Get out of here, now.”

Mason didn’t move, and Derek didn’t turn back to look at him.

This was wrong. This was not the right reason for Derek to be angry with him, and Mason purposely embarrassing and pissing the man off was the coward’s way out.

He got up from his chair and moved to where Derek was standing.  When he put his hands on the other man’s shoulder’s, Derek rounded on him and pushed him away.

“Don’t touch me!” he yelled.

Like Mason could obey a command like that. He surged forward and wrapped his arms around Derek’s shoulders, holding on tight even when he struggled in his grasp.

Mason Returns to His Mate                    47

Derek was more muscled and stronger now, but he could never get out of a full-fledged wolf-hug.

After a solid minute, he stopped fighting, but he didn’t hold  Mason back. He did let his head rest on Mason’s shoulder, however.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that,” Mason said.

“Yes, you did. Dick,” Derek muttered.

Mason sighed, but Derek spoke first.

“You’re right, though. We weren’t together long for me to have waited for you like this. I don’t want to come off as a stalker or anything. I don’t know why I never let you go.”

Mason knew why, because they were mated. He wouldn’t burden  Derek with that information, however. Not when he was going to

have let Derek go so soon.

Never mind Derek letting him go. Derek was never going to want  to see Mason’s face when his memories of that night returned.

“Derek, there’s something I need to ask you.”

Derek pulled away and looked at him.

“I need to ask if you remember―”

He didn’t get the chance to finish when Derek reached his hands  up, holding on tightly to Mason’s shoulders, and then pressed his  mouth to Mason’s.

The touch of Derek’s lips on his was like having a really strong alcohol in his system for the first time. It was like a tiny, pleasurable jolt sizzled through his body that he couldn’t contain.

No. No. This was all fucked up. He knew what Derek was doing, and if he allowed it to go on, the other man was going to hate him even more after  he found out the truth.

It nearly killed him to do it, but he pushed Derek away from him.

“We can’t do this.”

Derek’s eyes turned into kicked-puppy sad. “Why not?”

“Because â€¦because of what I did to you.”

Derek’s eyes squinted in the way that people’s eyes  did when they were thinking. “What did you do? Leave?”

48                          Marcy Jacks

“No. I… â€ť God, he didn’t even want to say the word. “What do  you remember about that last night we were together?”

Derek shook his head. He didn’t get it.

“Derek, you won’t want to be with me if you remember that.  What I did…and I’m so sorry that I did it. I didn’t mean to, I swear to  God I didn’t.”

“What are you talking about?”

“I â€¦ â€ť Mason had to extract himself from Derek’s arms. He

couldn’t admit to something like this when Derek held onto him for  dear life. “I raped you.”

He whispered the words, but Derek’s head flew back like he’d  been punched. “You  what?”

His yelled words made Mason cringe. He could face down  hunters, take out a fully grown moose with his claws and teeth alone,  but the emotional stuff, terrible confessions, he apparently couldn’t

do.

That was why he looked away from Derek’s face and stared at the

counter and sink behind him instead.

“It was right after

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