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Stop! Don’t write that down. Cut out that last bit. Then to the The Father and The Step-Daughter. Fine! it’s going fine! To The Father only. And now you can go on as we arranged. To the Actors. Pretty good that scene, where he offers her the hat, eh? The Step-Daughter The best’s coming now. Why can’t we go on? The Manager Have a little patience! To the Actors. Of course, it must be treated rather lightly. Leading Man Still, with a bit of go in it! Leading Lady Of course! It’s easy enough! To Leading Man. Shall you and I try it now? Leading Man Why, yes! I’ll prepare my entrance. Exit in order to make his entrance. The Manager To Leading Lady. See here! The scene between you and Madame Pace is finished. I’ll have it written out properly after. You remain here⁠ ⁠… oh, where are you going? Leading Lady One minute. I want to put my hat on again. Goes over to hat-rack and puts her hat on her head. The Manager Good! You stay here with your head bowed down a bit. The Step-Daughter But she isn’t dressed in black. Leading Lady But I shall be, and much more effectively than you. The Manager To The Step-Daughter. Be quiet please, and watch! You’ll be able to learn something. Clapping his hands. Come on! come on! Entrance, please! The door at rear of stage opens, and the Leading Man enters with the lively manner of an old gallant. The rendering of the scene by the Actors from the very first words is seen to be quite a different thing, though it has not in any way the air of a parody. Naturally, The Step-Daughter and The Father, not being able to recognize themselves in the Leading Lady and the Leading Man, who deliver their words in different tones and with a different psychology, express, sometimes with smiles, sometimes with gestures, the impression they receive. Leading Man Good afternoon, Miss.⁠ ⁠… The Father At once unable to contain himself. No! no! The Step-Daughter noticing the way the Leading Man enters, bursts out laughing. The Manager Furious. Silence! And you please just stop that laughing. If we go on like this, we shall never finish. The Step-Daughter Forgive me, sir, but it’s natural enough. This lady Indicating Leading Lady. stands there still; but if she is supposed to be me, I can assure you that if I heard anyone say “Good afternoon” in that manner and in that tone, I should burst out laughing as I did. The Father Yes, yes, the manner, the tone.⁠ ⁠… The Manager Nonsense! Rubbish! Stand aside and let me see the action. Leading Man If I’ve got to represent an old fellow who’s coming into a house of an equivocal character.⁠ ⁠… The Manager Don’t listen to them, for Heaven’s sake! Do it again! It goes fine. Waiting for the Actors to begin again. Well? Leading Man Good afternoon, Miss. Leading Lady Good afternoon. Leading Man Imitating the gesture of The Father when he looked under the hat, and then expressing quite clearly first satisfaction and then fear. Ah, but⁠ ⁠… I say⁠ ⁠… this is not the first time that you have come here, is it? The Manager Good, but not quite so heavily. Like this: Acts himself. “This isn’t the first time that you have come here.”⁠ ⁠… To Leading Lady. And you say: “No, sir.” Leading Lady No, sir. Leading Man You’ve been here before, more than once. The Manager No, no, stop! Let her nod “yes” first. “You’ve been here before, eh?” The Leading Lady lifts up her head slightly and closes her eyes as though in disgust. Then she inclines her head twice. The Step-Daughter Unable to contain herself. Oh my God! Puts a hand to her mouth to prevent herself from laughing. The Manager Turning round. What’s the matter? The Step-Daughter Nothing, nothing! The Manager To Leading Man. Go on! Leading Man You’ve been here before, eh? Well then, there’s no need to be so shy, is there? May I take off your hat? The Leading Man says this last speech in such a tone and with such gestures that The Step-Daughter, though she has her hand to her mouth, cannot keep from laughing. Leading Lady Indignant. I’m not going to stop here to be made a fool of by that woman there. Leading Man Neither am I! I’m through with it! The Manager Shouting to The Step-Daughter. Silence! for once and all, I tell you! The Step-Daughter Forgive me! forgive me! The Manager You haven’t any manners: that’s what it is! You go too far. The Father Endeavouring to intervene. Yes, it’s true, but excuse her.⁠ ⁠… The Manager Excuse what? It’s absolutely disgusting. The Father Yes, sir, but believe me, it has such a strange effect when.⁠ ⁠… The Manager Strange? Why strange? Where is it strange? The Father No, sir; I admire your actors⁠—this gentleman here, this lady; but they are certainly not us! The Manager I should hope not. Evidently they cannot be you, if they are actors. The Father Just so: actors! Both of them act our parts exceedingly well. But, believe me, it produces quite a different effect on us. They want to be us, but they aren’t, all the same. The Manager What is it then anyway? The Father Something that is⁠ ⁠… that is theirs⁠—and no longer ours.⁠ ⁠… The Manager But naturally, inevitably. I’ve told you so already. The Father Yes, I understand⁠ ⁠… I understand.⁠ ⁠… The Manager Well then, let’s have no more of it! Turning to the Actors. We’ll have the rehearsals by ourselves, afterwards, in the ordinary way. I never could stand rehearsing with the author present. He’s never satisfied! Turning to The Father and The Step-Daughter. Come on! Let’s get on with it again; and try and see if you can’t keep from laughing. The Step-Daughter Oh, I shan’t laugh any more. There’s a nice little bit coming for me
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