Jeeves Stories P. G. Wodehouse (websites to read books for free txt) š
- Author: P. G. Wodehouse
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Then the door closed, and he was no longer with us. And I crawled out of the bombproof shelter.
āCorky, old top!ā I whispered faintly.
Corky was standing staring at the picture. His face was set. There was a hunted look in his eye.
āWell, that finishes it!ā he muttered brokenly.
āWhat are you going to do?ā
āDo? What can I do? I canāt stick on here if he cuts off supplies. You heard what he said. I shall have to go to the office on Monday.ā
I couldnāt think of a thing to say. I knew exactly how he felt about the office. I donāt know when Iāve been so infernally uncomfortable. It was like hanging round trying to make conversation to a pal whoās just been sentenced to twenty years in quod.
And then a soothing voice broke the silence.
āIf I might make a suggestion, sir!ā
It was Jeeves. He had slid from the shadows and was gazing gravely at the picture. Upon my word, I canāt give you a better idea of the shattering effect of Corkyās uncle Alexander when in action than by saying that he had absolutely made me forget for the moment that Jeeves was there.
āI wonder if I have ever happened to mention to you, sir, a Mr. Digby Thistleton, with whom I was once in service? Perhaps you have met him? He was a financier. He is now Lord Bridgnorth. It was a favourite saying of his that there is always a way. The first time I heard him use the expression was after the failure of a patent depilatory which he promoted.ā
āJeeves,ā I said, āwhat on earth are you talking about?ā
āI mentioned Mr. Thistleton, sir, because his was in some respects a parallel case to the present one. His depilatory failed, but he did not despair. He put it on the market again under the name of Hair-o, guaranteed to produce a full crop of hair in a few months. It was advertised, if you remember, sir, by a humorous picture of a billiard-ball, before and after taking, and made such a substantial fortune that Mr. Thistleton was soon afterwards elevated to the peerage for services to his Party. It seems to me that, if Mr. Corcoran looks into the matter, he will find, like Mr. Thistleton, that there is always a way. Mr. Worple himself suggested the solution of the difficulty. In the heat of the moment he compared the portrait to an extract from a coloured comic supplement. I consider the suggestion a very valuable one, sir. Mr. Corcoranās portrait may not have pleased Mr. Worple as a likeness of his only child, but I have no doubt that editors would gladly consider it as a foundation for a series of humorous drawings. If Mr. Corcoran will allow me to make the suggestion, his talent has always been for the humorous. There is something about this pictureā āsomething bold and vigorous, which arrests the attention. I feel sure it would be highly popular.ā
Corky was glaring at the picture, and making a sort of dry, sucking noise with his mouth. He seemed completely overwrought.
And then suddenly he began to laugh in a wild way.
āCorky, old man!ā I said, massaging him tenderly. I feared the poor blighter was hysterical.
He began to stagger about all over the floor.
āHeās right! The manās absolutely right! Jeeves, youāre a lifesaver! Youāve hit on the greatest idea of the age! Report at the office on Monday! Start at the bottom of the business! Iāll buy the business if I feel like it. I know the man who runs the comic section of the Sunday Star. Heāll eat this thing. He was telling me only the other day how hard it was to get a good new series. Heāll give me anything I ask for a real winner like this. Iāve got a goldmine. Whereās my hat? Iāve got an income for life! Whereās that confounded hat? Lend me a fiver, Bertie. I want to take a taxi down to Park Row!ā
Jeeves smiled paternally. Or, rather, he had a kind of paternal muscular spasm about the mouth, which is the nearest he ever gets to smiling.
āIf I might make the suggestion, Mr. Corcoranā āfor a title of the series which you have in mindā āāThe Adventures of Baby Blobbs.āāā
Corky and I looked at the picture, then at each other in an awed way. Jeeves was right. There could be no other title.
āJeeves,ā I said. It was a few weeks later, and I had just finished looking at the comic section of the Sunday Star. āIām an optimist. I always have been. The older I get, the more I agree with Shakespeare and those poet Johnnies about it always being darkest before the dawn and thereās a silver lining and what you lose on the swings you make up on the roundabouts. Look at Mr. Corcoran, for instance. There was a fellow, one would have said, clear up to the eyebrows in the soup. To all appearances he had got it right in the neck. Yet look at him now. Have you seen these pictures?ā
āI took the liberty of glancing at them
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