The Alchemist Ben Jonson (different e readers TXT) 📖
- Author: Ben Jonson
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I thought the liberties. What shall we do now, Face? Face
Be silent: not a word, if he call or knock.
I’ll into mine old shape again and meet him,
Of Jeremy, the butler. In the meantime,
Do you two pack up all the goods and purchase,
That we can carry in the two trunks. I’ll keep him
Off for today, if I cannot longer: and then
At night, I’ll ship you both away to Ratcliff,
Where we will meet tomorrow, and there we’ll share.
Let Mammon’s brass and pewter keep the cellar;
We’ll have another time for that. But, Dol,
Prithee go heat a little water quickly;
Subtle must shave me: all my Captain’s beard
Must off, to make me appear smooth Jeremy.
You’ll do it?
Yes, I’ll shave you, as well as I can.
FaceAnd not cut my throat, but trim me?
SubtleYou shall see, sir.
Exeunt. Act V Scene IBefore Lovewit’s door.
Enter Lovewit, with several of the Neighbours. LovewitHas there been such resort, say you?
1 NeighbourDaily, sir.
2 NeighbourAnd nightly, too.
3 NeighbourAy, some as brave as lords.
4 NeighbourLadies and gentlewomen.
5 NeighbourCitizens’ wives.
1 NeighbourAnd knights.
6 NeighbourIn coaches.
2 NeighbourYes, and oyster women.
1 NeighbourBeside other gallants.
3 NeighbourSailors’ wives.
4 NeighbourTobacco men.
5 NeighbourAnother Pimlico!
LovewitWhat should my knave advance,
To draw this company? He hung out no banners
Of a strange calf with five legs to be seen,
Or a huge lobster with six claws?
No, sir.
3 NeighbourWe had gone in then, sir.
LovewitHe has no gift
Of teaching in the nose that e’er I knew of.
You saw no bills set up that promised cure
Of agues, or the toothache?
No such thing, sir!
LovewitNor heard a drum struck for baboons or puppets?
5 NeighbourNeither, sir.
LovewitWhat device should he bring forth now?
I love a teeming wit as I love my nourishment:
’Pray God he have not kept such open house,
That he hath sold my hangings, and my bedding!
I left him nothing else. If he have eat them,
A plague o’ the moth, say I! Sure he has got
Some bawdy pictures to call all this ging!
The friar and the nun; or the new motion
Of the knight’s courser covering the parson’s mare;
Or ’t may be, he has the fleas that run at tilt
Upon a table, or some dog to dance.
When saw you him?
Who, sir, Jeremy?
2 NeighbourJeremy butler?
We saw him not this month.
How!
4 NeighbourNot these five weeks, sir.
6 NeighbourThese six weeks at the least.
LovewitYou amaze me, neighbours!
5 NeighbourSure, if your worship know not where he is,
He’s slipt away.
Pray God, he be not made away.
LovewitHa! It’s no time to question, then.
Knocks at the door. 6 NeighbourAbout
Some three weeks since, I heard a doleful cry,
As I sat up a mending my wife’s stockings.
’Tis strange that none will answer! Didst thou hear
A cry, sayst thou?
Yes, sir, like unto a man
That had been strangled an hour, and could not speak.
I heard it too, just this day three weeks, at two o’clock
Next morning.
These be miracles, or you make them so!
A man an hour strangled, and could not speak,
And both you heard him cry?
Yes, downward, sir.
LovewitThou art a wise fellow. Give me thy hand, I pray thee.
What trade art thou on?
A smith, and’t please your worship.
LovewitA smith! Then lend me thy help to get this door open.
3 NeighbourThat I will presently, sir, but fetch my tools—
Exit. 1 NeighbourSir, best to knock again, afore you break it.
LovewitI will. Knocks again.
Enter Face, in his butler’s livery. FaceWhat mean you, sir?
1, 2, 4 NeighbourO, here’s Jeremy!
FaceGood sir, come from the door.
LovewitWhy, what’s the matter?
FaceYet farther, you are too near yet.
LovewitIn the name of wonder,
What means the fellow!
The house, sir, has been visited.
LovewitWhat, with the plague? Stand thou then farther.
FaceNo, sir,
I had it not.
Who had it then? I left
None else but thee in the house.
Yes, sir, my fellow,
The cat that kept the buttery, had it on her
A week before I spied it; but I got her
Conveyed away in the night: and so I shut
The house up for a month—
How!
FacePurposing then, sir,
To have burnt rose-vinegar, treacle, and tar,
And have made it sweet, that you should ne’er have known it;
Because I knew the news would but afflict you, sir.
Breathe less, and farther off! Why this is stranger:
The neighbours tell me all here that the doors
Have still been open—
How, sir!
LovewitGallants, men and women,
And of all sorts, tag-rag, been seen to flock here
In threaves, these ten weeks, as to a second Hogsden,
In days of Pimlico and Eye-bright.
Sir,
Their wisdoms will not say so.
Today they speak
Of coaches and gallants; one in a French hood
Went in, they tell me; and another was seen
In a velvet gown at the window: diverse more
Pass in and out.
They did pass through the doors then,
Or walls, I assure their eyesights, and their spectacles;
For here, sir, are the keys, and here have been,
In this my pocket, now above twenty days:
And for before, I kept the fort alone there.
But that ’tis yet not deep in the afternoon,
I should believe my neighbours had seen double
Through the black pot, and made these apparitions!
For, on my faith to your worship, for these three weeks
And upwards the door has not been opened.
Strange!
1 NeighbourGood faith, I think I saw a coach.
2 NeighbourAnd I too,
I’d have been sworn.
Do you but think it now?
And but one coach?
We cannot tell, sir: Jeremy
Is a very honest fellow.
Did you see me at all?
1 NeighbourNo; that we are sure on.
2 NeighbourI’ll be sworn o’ that.
LovewitFine rogues to
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