The Alchemist Ben Jonson (different e readers TXT) š
- Author: Ben Jonson
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How! You have eaten your gag?
DapperYes faith, it crumbled
Away in my mouth.
You have spoiled all then.
DapperNo!
I hope my aunt of Fairy will forgive me.
Your auntās a gracious lady; but in troth
You were to blame.
The fume did overcome me,
And I did doāt to stay my stomach. āPray you
So satisfy her Grace.
Here comes the Captain.
FaceHow now! Is his mouth down?
SubtleAy, he has spoken!
FaceA pox, I heard him, and you too.ā āHeās undone then.ā ā
I have been fain to say, the house is haunted
With spirits, to keep churl back.
And hast thou done it?
FaceSure, for this night.
SubtleWhy, then triumph and sing
Of Face so famous, the precious king
Of present wits.
Did you not hear the coil
About the door?
Yes, and I dwindled with it.
FaceShow him his aunt, and let him be dispatched:
Iāll send her to you.
Well, sir, your aunt her Grace
Will give you audience presently, on my suit,
And the Captainās word that you did not eat your gag
In any contempt of her Highness.
Not I, in troth, sir.
Enter Dol, like the Queen of Fairy. SubtleHere she is come. Down oā your knees and wriggle:
She has a stately presence.
Dapper kneels, and shuffles towards her.
Good! Yet nearer,
And bid, God save you!
Madam!
SubtleAnd your aunt.
DapperAnd my most gracious aunt, God save your Grace.
Dol CommonNephew, we thought to have been angry with you;
But that sweet face of yours hath turned the tide,
And made it flow with joy, that ebbed of love.
Arise, and touch our velvet gown.
The skirts,
And kiss āem. So!
Let me now stroke that head.
āMuch, nephew, shalt thou win, much shalt thou spend,
Much shalt thou give away, much shalt thou lend.ā
Aside. Ay, much! Indeed.ā āWhy do you not thank her Grace?
DapperI cannot speak for joy.
SubtleSee, the kind wretch!
Your Graceās kinsman right.
Give me the bird.
Here is your fly in a purse, about your neck, cousin;
Wear it, and feed it about this day sevān-night,
On your right wristā ā
Open a vein with a pin,
And let it suck but once a week; till then,
You must not look onāt.
No: and kinsman,
Bear yourself worthy of the blood you come on.
Her Grace would have you eat no more Woolsack pies,
Nor Dagger frumety.
Nor break his fast
In Heaven and Hell.
Sheās with you everywhere!
Nor play with costermongers, at mum-chance, tray-trip,
God make you rich; (when as your aunt has done it);
But keep
The gallantest company, and the best gamesā ā
Yes, sir.
SubtleGleek and primero; and what you get, be true to us.
DapperBy this hand, I will.
SubtleYou may bringās a thousand pound
Before tomorrow night, if but three thousand
Be stirring, an you will.
I swear I will then.
SubtleYour fly will learn you all games.
FaceWithin. Have you done there?
SubtleYour Grace will command him no more duties?
Dol CommonNo:
But come, and see me often. I may chance
To leave him three or four hundred chests of treasure,
And some twelve thousand acres of Fairyland,
If he game well and comely with good gamesters.
Thereās a kind aunt! Kiss her departing part.ā ā
But you must sell your forty mark a year, now.
Ay, sir, I mean.
SubtleOr, giveāt away; pox onāt!
DapperIāll giveāt mine aunt. Iāll go and fetch the writings.
Exit. SubtleāTis wellā āaway!
Re-enter Face. FaceWhereās Subtle?
SubtleHere: what news?
FaceDrugger is at the door, go take his suit,
And bid him fetch a parson, presently;
Say, he shall marry the widow. Thou shalt spend
A hundred pound by the service!
Now, queen Dol,
Have you packed up all?
Yes.
FaceAnd how do you like
The lady Pliant?
A good dull innocent.
Re-enter Subtle. SubtleHereās your Hieronimoās cloak and hat.
FaceGive me them.
SubtleAnd the ruff too?
FaceYes; Iāll come to you presently.
Exit. SubtleNow he is gone about his project, Dol,
I told you of, for the widow.
āTis direct
Against our articles.
Well, we will fit him, wench.
Hast thou gulled her of her jewels or her bracelets?
No; but I will doāt.
SubtleSoon at night, my Dolly,
When we are shipped, and all our goods aboard,
Eastward for Ratcliff, we will turn our course
To Brainford, westward, if thou sayst the word,
And take our leaves of this oāer-weening rascal,
This peremptory Face.
Content, Iām weary of him.
SubtleThouāst cause, when the slave will run a wiving, Dol,
Against the instrument that was drawn between us.
Iāll pluck his bird as bare as I can.
SubtleYes, tell her,
She must by any means address some present
To the cunning man, make him amends for wronging
His art with her suspicion; send a ring,
Or chain of pearl; she will be tortured else
Extremely in her sleep, say, and have strange things
Come to her. Wilt thou?
Yes.
SubtleMy fine flitter-mouse,
My bird oā the night! Weāll tickle it at the Pigeons,
When we have all, and may unlock the trunks,
And say, thisās mine, and thine; and thine, and mine.
What now! A billing?
SubtleYes, a little exalted
In the good passage of our stock-affairs.
Drugger has brought his parson; take him in, Subtle,
And send Nab back again to wash his face.
I will: and shave himself?
Exit. FaceIf you can get him.
Dol CommonYou are hot upon it, Face, whateāer it is!
FaceA trick that Dol shall spend ten pound a month by.
Re-enter Subtle.Is he gone?
SubtleThe chaplain waits you in the hall, sir.
FaceIāll go bestow him.
Exit. Dol CommonHeāll now marry her, instantly.
SubtleHe cannot yet, he is not ready. Dear Dol,
Cozen her of all thou canst. To deceive him
Is no deceit, but justice,
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