The Alchemist Ben Jonson (different e readers TXT) đ
- Author: Ben Jonson
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Such an inextricable tie as ours was. Dol Common
Let me alone to fit him.
Re-enter Face. FaceCome, my venturers,
You have packed up all? Where be the trunks? Bring forth.
Here.
FaceLet us see them. Whereâs the money?
SubtleHere,
In this.
Mammonâs ten pound; eight score before:
The Brethrenâs money, this. Druggerâs and Dapperâs.
What paperâs that?
The jewel of the waiting maidâs,
That stole it from her lady, to know certainâ â
If she should have precedence of her mistress?
Dol CommonYes.
FaceWhat box is that?
SubtleThe fishwivesâ rings, I think,
And the alewivesâ single money. Isât not, Dol?
Yes; and the whistle that the sailorâs wife
Brought you to know an her husband were with Ward.
Weâll wet it tomorrow; and our silver-beakers
And tavern cups. Where be the French petticoats,
And girdles and hangers?
Here, in the trunk,
And the bolts of lawn.
Is Druggerâs damask there,
And the tobacco?
Yes.
FaceGive me the keys.
Dol CommonWhy you the keys?
SubtleNo matter, Dol; because
We shall not open them before he comes.
âTis true, you shall not open them, indeed;
Nor have them forth, do you see? Not forth, Dol.
No!
FaceNo, my smock rampant. The right is, my master
Knows all, has pardoned me, and he will keep them;
Doctor, âtis trueâ âyou lookâ âfor all your figures:
I sent for him, indeed. Wherefore, good partners,
Both he and she be satisfied; for here
Determines the indenture tripartite
âTwixt Subtle, Dol, and Face. All I can do
Is to help you over the wall, oâ the backside,
Or lend you a sheet to save your velvet gown, Dol.
Here will be officers presently, bethink you
Of some course suddenly to âscape the dock:
For thither you will come else.
Loud knocking.
Hark you, thunder.
You are a precious fiend!
OfficerWithout. Open the door.
FaceDol, I am sorry for thee iâfaith; but hearâst thou?
It shall go hard but I will place thee somewhere:
Thou shalt have my letter to mistress Amoâ â
Hang you!
FaceOr madam Caesarean.
Dol CommonPox upon you, rogue,
Would I had but time to beat thee!
Subtle,
Letâs know where you set up next; I will send you
A customer now and then, for old acquaintance:
What new course have you?
Rogue, Iâll hang myself;
That I may walk a greater devil than thou,
And haunt thee in the flock-bed and the buttery.
An outer room in the same.
Enter Lovewit in the Spanish dress, with the Parson. Loud knocking at the door. LovewitWhat do you mean, my masters?
Sir Epicure MammonWithout. Open your door,
Cheaters, bawds, conjurers.
Without. Or we will break it open.
LovewitWhat warrant have you?
OfficerWithout. Warrant enough, sir, doubt not,
If youâll not open it.
Is there an officer, there?
OfficerWithout. Yes, two or three for failing.
LovewitHave but patience,
And I will open it straight.
Sir, have you done?
Is it a marriage? Perfect?
Yes, my brain.
FaceOff with your ruff and cloak then; be yourself, sir.
Pertinax SurlyWithout. Down with the door.
KastrilWithout. âSlight, ding it open.
LovewitOpening the door. Hold,
Hold, gentlemen, what means this violence?
Where is this collier?
Pertinax SurlyAnd my Captain Face?
Sir Epicure MammonThese day owls.
Pertinax SurlyThat are birding in menâs purses.
Sir Epicure MammonMadam Suppository.
KastrilDoxy, my sister.
AnaniasLocusts
Of the foul pit.
Profane as Bel and the dragon.
AnaniasWorse than the grasshoppers, or the lice of Egypt.
LovewitGood gentlemen, hear me. Are you officers,
And cannot stay this violence?
Keep the peace.
LovewitGentlemen, what is the matter? Whom do you seek?
Sir Epicure MammonThe chemical cozener.
Pertinax SurlyAnd the Captain pander.
KastrilThe nun my sister.
Sir Epicure MammonMadam Rabbi.
AnaniasScorpions,
And caterpillars.
Fewer at once, I pray you.
2 OfficerOne after another, gentlemen, I charge you,
By virtue of my staff.
They are the vessels
Of pride, lust, and the cart.
Good zeal, lie still
A little while.
Peace, deacon Ananias.
LovewitThe house is mine here, and the doors are open;
If there be any such persons as you seek for,
Use your authority, search on oâ Godâs name.
I am but newly come to town, and finding
This tumult âbout my door, to tell you true,
It somewhat mazed me; till my man, here, fearing
My more displeasure, told me he had done
Somewhat an insolent part, let out my house
(Belike, presuming on my known aversion
From any air oâ the town while there was sickness,)
To a Doctor and a Captain: who, what they are
Or where they be, he knows not.
Are they gone?
LovewitYou may go in and search, sir.
Mammon, Ananias, and Tribulation go in.Here, I find
The empty walls worse than I left them, smoked,
A few cracked pots, and glasses, and a furnace:
The ceiling filled with poesies of the candle,
And madam with a dildo writ oâ the walls:
Only one gentlewoman, I met here,
That is within, that said she was a widowâ â
Ay, thatâs my sister; Iâll go thump her. Where is she?
Goes in. LovewitAnd should have married a Spanish Count, but he,
When he came toât, neglected her so grossly,
That I, a widower, am gone through with her.
How! Have I lost her then?
LovewitWere you the Don, sir?
Good faith, now, she does blame you extremely, and says
You swore, and told her you had taken the pains
To dye your beard, and umber oâer your face,
Borrowed a suit, and ruff, all for her love;
And then did nothing. What an oversight,
And want of putting forward, sir, was this!
Well fare an old harquebuzier, yet,
Could prime his powder, and give fire, and hit,
All in a twinkling!
The whole nest are fled!
LovewitWhat sort of birds were they?
Sir Epicure MammonA kind of choughs,
Or thievish daws, sir, that have picked
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