Major Barbara George Bernard Shaw (crime books to read txt) đ
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- Author: George Bernard Shaw
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Barbara. There! are you settisfawd nah?
Barbara
Her eyes dancing. Wish Iâd been there, Bill.
Bill
Yes: youâd a got in a hextra bit oâ talk on me, wouldnât you?
Jenny
Iâm so sorry, Mr. Walker.
Bill
Fiercely. Donât you go beinâ sorry for me: youâve no call. Listen âere. I broke your jawr.
Jenny
No, it didnât hurt me: indeed it didnât, except for a moment. It was only that I was frightened.
Bill
I donât want to be forgive be you, or be ennybody. Wot I did Iâll pay for. I tried to get me own jawr broke to settisfaw youâ â
Jenny
Distressed. Oh noâ â
Bill
Impatiently. Tell yâI did: cawnât you listen to wotâs bein told you? All I got be it was beinâ made a sight of in the public street for me pains. Well, if I cawnât settisfaw you one way, I can another. Listen âere! I âad two quid saved agen the frost; anâ Iâve a pahnd of it left. A mate oâ mine last week âad words with the Judy âeâs goin to marry. âE give âer wot-for; anâ âeâs bin fined fifteen bob. âE âad a right to it âer because they was goin to be marrid; but I âadnât no right to it you; so put anather fawv bob on anâ call it a pahndâs worth. He produces a sovereign. Ereâs the money. Take it; and letâs âav no more oâ your forgivinâ an prayinâ and your Major jawrinâ me. Let wot I done be done and paid for; and let there be a end of it.
Jenny
Oh, I couldnât take it, Mr. Walker. But if you would give a shilling or two to poor Rummy Mitchens! you really did hurt her; and sheâs old.
Bill
Contemptuously. Not likely. Iâd give her anather as soon as look at âer. Let her âav the lawr oâ me as she threatened! She ainât forgiven me: not mach. Wot I done to âer is not on me mawndâ âwot she indicating Barbara. might call on me conscienceâ âno more than stickinâ a pig. Itâs this Christian game oâ yours that I wonât âav played agen me: this bloominâ forgivinâ anâ nogginâ an jawrinâ that makes a man that sore that iz lawfâs a burdn to âim. I wonât âav it, I tell you; so take your money and stop throwinâ your silly bashed face hup agen me.
Jenny
Major: may I take a little of it for the Army?
Barbara
No: the Army is not to be bought. We want your soul, Bill; and weâll take nothing less.
Bill
Bitterly. I know. It ainât enough. Me anâ me few shillins is not good enough for you. Youâre a earlâs grendorter, you are. Nothinâ less than a underd pahnd for you.
Undershaft
Come, Barbara! you could do a great deal of good with a hundred pounds. If you will set this gentlemanâs mind at ease by taking his pound, I will give the other ninety-nine Bill, astounded by such opulence, instinctively touches his cap.
Barbara
Oh, youâre too extravagant, papa. Bill offers twenty pieces of silver. All you need offer is the other ten. That will make the standard price to buy anybody whoâs for sale. Iâm not; and the Armyâs not. To Bill. Youâll never have another quiet moment, Bill, until you come round to us. You canât stand out against your salvation.
Bill
Sullenly. I cawnât stend aht agen music all wrastlers and artful tongued women. Iâve offered to pay. I can do no more. Take it or leave it. There it is. He throws the sovereign on the drum, and sits down on the horse-trough. The coin fascinates Snobby Price, who takes an early opportunity of dropping his cap on it.
Mrs. Baines comes from the shelter. She is dressed as a Salvation Army Commissioner. She is an earnest looking woman of about 40, with a caressing, urgent voice, and an appealing manner.
Barbara
This is my father, Mrs. Baines. Undershaft comes from the table, taking his hat off with marked civility. Try what you can do with him. He wonât listen to me, because he remembers what a fool I was when I was a baby.
She leaves them together and chats with Jenny.
Mrs. Baines
Have you been shown over the shelter, Mr. Undershaft? You know the work weâre doing, of course.
Undershaft
Very civilly. The whole nation knows it, Mrs. Baines.
Mrs. Baines
No, Sir: the whole nation does not know it, or we should not be crippled as we are for want of money to carry our work through the length and breadth of the land. Let me tell you that there would have been rioting this winter in London but for us.
Undershaft
You really think so?
Mrs. Baines
I know it. I remember 1886, when you rich gentlemen hardened your hearts against the cry of the poor. They broke the windows of your clubs in Pall Mall.
Undershaft
Gleaming with approval of their method. And the Mansion House Fund went up next day from thirty thousand pounds to seventy-nine thousand! I remember quite well.
Mrs. Baines
Well, wonât you help me to get at the people? They wonât break windows then. Come here, Price. Let me show you to this gentleman Price comes to be inspected. Do you remember the window breaking?
Price
My ole father thought it was the revolution, maâam.
Mrs. Baines
Would you break windows now?
Price
Oh no maâm. The windows of eaven âav bin opened to me. I know now that the rich man is a sinner like myself.
Rummy
Appearing above at the loft door. Snobby Price!
Price
Wot is it?
Rummy
Your motherâs askin for you at the other gate in Crippses Lane. Sheâs heard about your confession. Price turns pale.
Mrs. Baines
Go, Mr. Price; and pray with her.
Jenny
You can go through the shelter, Snobby.
Price
To Mrs. Baines. I couldnât face her now; maâam, with all the weight of my sins fresh on me. Tell her sheâll find her son at âome, waitinâ
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