Heal The Abuse - Recover Your Life Jason Goodwin (free ebook novel .TXT) 📖

take this medicationuntil any side-effects wear off, and give each medication a fairchance of working.

Day six: I will get out of bed by 9:00 a.m.and continue to do all of the things I have been doing to staypositive. I will also check the yellow pages for a counselorqualified to treat depression, and set up my first appointment.

Day seven: (Etc…)

Process Questions

What are some of the ways that my sexualabuse issues continue to negatively affect my life or my goals?(Relationships, self-esteem, career, family, sex-life, self-care,relationship with God, etc…)

How do I feel about the ways the sexual abuseis negatively affecting my life and my goals?

What goals do I want to set for myself as Ibegin this healing process?

What good things might happen to me if I healthe pain of sexual abuse?

How can I process my feelings about the waysthe sexual abuse has negatively affected my life? (Sit with myfeelings, cry, release my anger in a healthy way, do somejournaling, talk to someone about how I feel, etc…)

Stepping Stones to Health

Goals

-Try to identify where you are in thestepping-stones to health, and the next step or steps you need totake.

_____ 1. I have no goals for healing thesexual abuse.

_____ 2. I would like to feel better, but Idon’t know where to start.

_____ 3. I want to gain sobriety from anaddiction or addictions.

_____ 4. I want to have healthierrelationships in the future.

_____ 5. I would like to heal the pain of mypast so that I don’t feel so terrible all the time.

_____ 6. I want to heal, but I’m not sure ifI’m willing to do the work it takes to get healthy.

_____ 7. I am committed to working throughthe pain of sexual abuse. My goal is to have healthy relationshipsin the future with myself, with others, and with God.

Chapter 3 –Healing Techniques

“Healing is a matter of time, but it issometimes also a matter of opportunity.”

-Hippocrates

There are many techniques we can employ toassist us in healing the pain of sexual abuse. Instead of pickingone or two, I urge you to consider them all, and use every toolthat is available to you. This healing process may be the biggestchallenge of your life.

As survivors, the fear that we are somehowdamaged or defective can actually interfere with our healingprocess. I resisted taking antidepressants for the first 33 yearsof my life because I fought so hard against the idea that there wassomething wrong with me. Never mind that depression runs in myfamily or that my grandmother took antidepressants for the secondhalf of her life. Every morning, I woke up feeling depressed for noapparent reason. I had low appetite, weight loss, and all thesymptoms of major depression. But I was in denial, and no one wasgoing to give me “crazy pills.”

No offense to myself, but I was being anidiot. My depression has a physical cause. As such, it demands aphysical solution. I would have no problem wrapping gauze around ableeding knee, so why was I having such a hard time taking a pillthat would boost a natural neurotransmitter in my brain?

About midway through my healing process, Idecided to try antidepressants. My mother had been urging me foryears to at least give them a try, and a nurse practitioner startedme on a newer antidepressant with very low side-effects. For me,the difference was life-changing. I woke up in a normal mood, andcould then experience good and bad days just like everyoneelse.

Antidepressants do not make you happy. Thatis your responsibility. They simply correct a chemical imbalance inyour brain so you can experience a normal range of emotions.

Sometimes we can be our own worst enemies.Healing the pain of sexual abuse requires action. Positive thinkingcan help, but it is often not enough. We must demonstrate love forourselves by utilizing all of the healing techniques available tous.

To begin my list of techniques, I want tostart with counseling. This book is not a replacement for therapy.Ideally, you would be working to process your issues with atherapist you see on a weekly basis. Counseling is an idealopportunity to discuss your issues with someone who will listen toyou, guide you, and encourage you without judgment. Yourrelationship with your therapist can be very helpful. I am atherapist myself, and I have been to therapy several times in mylife. I hope you give yourself a chance to experience thetherapeutic relationship. Going to counseling does not mean you arecrazy. It just means that you have the courage to do somethingabout your problems.

(A note to counselors: I often use this bookwith clients who are survivors of sexual abuse. First, I ask theclient to read a chapter on their own and complete the exercises.In the following therapy session, we take turns reading aloud andstop frequently to discuss how the material relates to thatclient’s personal issues. We finish by discussing their answers tothe process questions or the exercises.)

If you were sexually abused, you may sufferfrom posttraumatic stress disorder. As described by the DSM-IV-TR(Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders),posttraumatic stress disorder occurs in people who “experienced,witnessed, or were confronted with an event or events that involvedactual or threatened serious injury, or a threat to the physicalintegrity of self or others. The person’s response involved intensefear, helplessness, or horror.”

It goes on to say that, “the traumatic eventis persistently re-experienced in one or more of the followingways: 1. Recurrent and intrusive distressing recollections of theevent, including images, thoughts, or perceptions. 2. Recurrentdistressing dreams of the event. 3. Acting or feeling as if thetraumatic events were recurring. 4. Intense psychological distressat exposure to internal or external cues that symbolize or resemblean aspect of the traumatic event. 5. Physiological reactivity onexposure to internal or external cues that symbolize or resemble anaspect of the traumatic event.”

It says that there are, “Persistent symptomsof increased arousal, as indicated by two or more of the following:1. Difficulty falling or staying asleep. 2. Irritability oroutbursts of anger. 3. Difficulty concentrating.